Removing an Ex from a mortgage - any advice?

Soldato
Joined
17 Jan 2006
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4,313
Hi all

I know this is not the ideal place to come for advice but at this very moment there is no one else I can ask, and I could also do with just getting a few things out of my brain to help get them a little in order, so please bear with me.

My ex and I split up just over a year ago, to make matter much more complicated, we have a 3 year old son and the house we live in is in both our names. Since the split we have remained living in house with separate rooms etc - not ideal but we do get on still and for the moment it's best for the little boy as he has both his parents around.

My ex is looking to move out with her new partner and has given me a figure she would be happy with for buying her out. Sadly I can't afford to just do this else I would do so.

I am going to have to talk to the mortgage company and see if

1) They will let me continue the mortgage in just my name

2) They will give me a further advance to cover the amount she wants


How likely is it that the mortgage company will allow me to continue in just my name, seeing as I am the only earner and it was me and my parents who put I the 33% deposit?

At the time of purchase the mortgage company loaned as much as they were prepared to which wasn't quite enough and hence my parents made up the short fall by adding to the deposit.

Seeing as the price of the house may have risen a bit, my wages have crept up a little and the mortgage is slightly smaller after a couple of years of paying it off, is there a chance they might allow me to continue?

If not, then I guess I'll have to leave it as it currently is. But how can I raise the money to buy her out? At present I can just about make a few savings each month which allow me to cover the cost of running a car and a few emergencies but not a lot else. And of course when they move out my bills and food costs etc will be lower but I'll also have the extra cost of maintenance and travel to pick my little boy up etc.

I know there's not a lot anyone can really say other than chat to the mortgage company etc but I need to get some of this straight in my head
 
Speak to the mortgage company - see what they say about it all
Potentially speak to a lawyer about your child/access etc - as there is no mention of what happens when your ex-partner moves out.

Sort out you childs future first before the property - that's the main thing I would suggest.

Have you got anything in writing about the deposit - i.e bank statements/lawyers letter about how it was paid/by who etc?
 
Access to my little boy won't be a problem, my ex is very agreeable that I'm his Dad and will be involved in his life as much as possible.

I can sort out paperwork for the deposit etc, it's all from savings I made from my wages into an ISA and a lump sum which was an inheritance from my Grandad, so that shouldn't be a problem. I just don't really want to sell the house as I will lose quite a lot in fees and all that sort of thing etc.
 
Doesn't this kind of situation work with you moving out, leaving her and the child in the house until the child is 18 at such time the house is sold and funds split?

But yeah if she is happy to be bought out just go speak to the bank. As she does not add to the house hold income it shouldn't be too much hassle to remove her from the mortgage. Though will cost. Legal fee's. Redo the deeds etc. Be looking at about £1000 to do that I reckon. Also you will have to declare child support payments or the arrangement between the 2 of you. Will affect future remortgages too etc.

Might be easier just to sell up. Is she the kind of woman to demand half of what your parents put in?

Best of luck though.
 
She wouldn't be able to afford the house and besides she wants to move in with her new partner.

Hadn't thought about the cost of the changes, that could be a lot couldn't it, will really need to speak to the mortgage company.

Not really sure what she'd be like if I was to sell up, though legally she'd be entitled to half of the equity, so if she did demand it I'd stand to lose an awful lot and getting another mortgage would be a real struggle as you say with maintenance payments etc.
 
When you say she wouldn't be able to afford the house, when I said you move out you actually keep paying the mortgage. You wouldn't stop paying because you are not there. Then maintenance payments would cover a good part of her bills, plus other benefits she would be entitled to. Maintenance is 20% (ish) of your pay before tax minus any pension payments. Oh on that note don't forget she's entitled to half your pension too. . . .

I'm only mentioning the money stuff as i am "helping" my parents divorce. My mother has only worked for 4 years in her entire life, my dad is 68 and still working. He went white as a sheet when the solictor explained my mother can take half his pension as well as half the house, half the money etc etc etc.

The courts favor mother and child.
 
I divorced a year or so ago, my ex left the house and wanted to walk away (its in negative equity), she was happy to sign any paperwork giving me full ownership as long as I got her name removed from the mortgage and deeds.
I called my mortgage provider and explained all this and that she was going to move to the USA, their response was a resounding no, they said if one of us was to stop paying or disappear, they would still have somebody to chase for the payment, that somebody being myself as I still reside at the address, so I think you may be out of luck, but call the mortgage company and see.

The only alternative was to sell the house for best possible price and then try to make a deal with the mortgage company for a personal loan to pay off the outstanding dept and write off the mortgage, apparently they will accept a lower amount in such cases, however my ex refused at the time but is now chasing me to follow up on this now :(
The idea is that the mortgage company would rather anything than nothing and you and your ex both take a loan for equal amounts, which means you get a clean break from each other and are no longer held to each other via a tide mortgage dept.
 
Are you married to her - does that make any difference in the eyes of the law?
 
You need a solicitor. I've been through this, solicitor will handle the mortgage side (once you have an offer in place). Process is known as a transfer of equity.

Any solicitor offering conveyancing services will do this. You both need a solicitor and it cannot be the same one. Fees will generally be ~5-7 hundred.
 
When you say she wouldn't be able to afford the house, when I said you move out you actually keep paying the mortgage.
And how's he supposed to afford to live elsewhere?
He'd be a mug to do that anyway
 
And how's he supposed to afford to live elsewhere?
He'd be a mug to do that anyway

I know. . . But in the eyes of a court its not their problem. Was just pointing out how it could go if she filed for divorce. But I have failed to observe no mention of being married.
 
Nah, not married.

Doesn't look like mortgage company will loan enough money to me on my own so guess I'm going to have to sell the house. Need to work out what my ex will be entitled to and see what I would then be able to afford to buy, most likely a crappy flat. :(
 
You do have options, although they're not great. I've gone thru this, with my ex who is now sole owner of the family home despite being unable to afford to buy me out.

We arranged a Transfer of Equity, she remortgaged having shown affordability (she's been paying the mortgage for the last 7 yrs anyhow).

When my son is uni age, she'll be selling up or she'll buy me out properly. With a charge on the property meaning that I get second dibs (after the bank) should she sell in the meantime.

Or at least thats the plan. Its risky but thats life.
 
Trouble is the mortgage company won't (going by their calculators as I was advised to do by them) loan me enough money to be able to remortgage. I asked if it made any difference that mine was already the sole income and I was already the sole payee and was told that it didn't make any difference.
 
If no mortgage provider will lend you enough on your salary alone and you can't borrow enough to cover her share of any "profit" then it's pretty certain that in the end you'll be forced to sell if she wants the money.
 
If you're the only earner then surely the mortgage was only calculated on your wage anyway, so why would her leaving make any difference to the amount they would lend you or have a missed something?
 
So what did the op learn from this whole experience so far? would you consider getting married in the future? would you ever risk putting someone elses name on your property again?
Nice guys finish last women are greedy cows taking what they know rightfully is not theres.

sad thing is any future GF and you moving into a new place would insist you have baggage and are broken for not putting her on the mortgage :D


It's ridiculous how some women treat men as cash cows in an era when woman are the ones fighting for equality..

It's the men who need protection
 
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