Ridiculous business names

[FoxEye]

(Chapter 12: Old man shouts at cloud, again. Cloud remains unmoved.)

Have you noticed the amount of businesses today, that are named after something a toddler might say, or you might say to a toddler?

I was walking around town this morning and came across a new one, "Smiggie".

Funnily enough, the other day I was listening to some commentary about the infantalisation of modern society. And (in my mind at least) this would be a perfect example.

I have a few problems with these businesses.

First, obviously, they sound really daft. "ZimZam", "Oookla", "Whibwhabwhappitywhoop". (Some of those may not be real )

Second, they give me no idea what the business sells. "Sports Direct", "Waterside Sports", "JD Sports"... with those I know immediately what you're selling, and this is helpful. What does "Smiggie" sell? Your guess is as good as mine.

Now we've been through a phase of businesses choosing abstract names. "Three", "Orange", "O2", etc. But at least those were real things. Now it's all "GiffGaff" and "Voxi" and stuff that has absolutely no meaning at all.

Naturally I'm not going to protest these shops outside Westminster, or create a petition or anything, but does anyone else find these names just a tad silly? Infantile, in fact? Is this a symptom of our descent into madness or just a big, fat, nothing-burger?

 

[FoxEye]

Considering vox is Latin for voice, seems quite appropriate for a phone company (voxi) to use that in their name.

I think I'd still judge them as childish based on their adverts, which are some of the most mindless pap ever spat out by a marketing dept.

 

[FoxEye]

The name worked: it made you remember it.

Apparently not, as I got it wrong (see above).

But that theory is basically the same as "no such thing as bad publicity", and that remembering something for any reason is good. Just ask Prince Andrew how accurate that is...

 

[FoxEye]

You remembered it well enough for Google to correct it.

Sure but what does that mean? I'm never going to like that name, and it will be a permanent negative association with that business.

Heck, I could name a business "Heil Hitler" and it would gain a load of publicity and be really memorable. Good thing or not?

*Raises walking stick and also shouts at cloud*

ITS NOT LIKE THE OLD DAYS.

Let me embrace you as a brother.

 

[FoxEye]

Thay're an Australian company with stores in several countries so I think they're doing OK. The name 'Smiggle' is a mashup word for smile and giggle.

There's a difference between having the sort of name you consider ridiculous and one which most people would consider offensive.

But we were simplifying down to the level that if something is memorable it has achieved its aim.

So now we seem to be agreeing that just being memorable does not make a name a success. It can be memorable for being childish, memorable for being difficult to pronounce, memorable for being offensive, etc.

Doesn't that mean that having a silly but memorable name is not automatically a good thing?

 

[FoxEye]

Where electrical stores were named Comet and after food.....

Currys isn't named after food.

 

[FoxEye]

Heh this does remind me one of the biggest apple resellers in the country with all WHITE, very white, stores is named "Stormfront".

That one is literally just a few doors up from "Smeggle". I always wonder how many people know about the "other" Stormfront. And why they've haven't rebranded by now...

Indeed. Probably the same people who are baffled by modern art

Oh come on, now you're just being absurd Nobody gets modern art! The people who claim to see deeper meaning in modern art are the most pretentious butt-munchers around It's literally a turd on an unmade bed. There is no deeper meaning, apart from society being in late-stage bonkersville.