Saberu's guide to Pulling on the dancefloor

Soldato
Joined
25 Feb 2003
Posts
3,263
Location
Stafford (uni)
Firstly this is a guide for people like me who are clueless at pulling on the dancefloor, so any naturals/ pulling masters out there bare in mind this is just the BASICS and your naturalness probably makes you better than the basic model i've laid out. Btw kino=kinosthetics = bodily contact/ touching. A lot of the things I mentioned are natural for people that have the confidence to do it, this guide helps people that don't have this confidence because it gives them a structure to work with to prevent them phasing out.

I was talking to a bloke about the best way to do this and was told a few things and realised they were very much true to what I was doing wrong, so thought i'd share; feel free to disagree:

1) Go in for kino as soon as you get eye contact/ if they back into you or you think you receive any sort of signal and if you don't get eye contact go in anyway. When going in for kino it's best to do it facing away from them (ie completely away) and backing into them and doing ass kino as it seems accidental so is easier for the girl to respond without drama. You can also use your hands to hold their sides while doing this if you feel you need to make your approach more aggressive (depends on the girl). You can also approach facing them etc, a good way to do that is to twirl them in front of you and perhaps hold their hands then move onto hold their waist or whatever while close dancing.

2) When not dancing with a girl dance with your wingman (aka friend), if you do this in a similar way to how you'd dance with a girl it makes girls notice and perhaps give them a laugh so they may like you for it. I was doing this wrong cos i'd just dance near my friend without doing anything like that to show off, you may notice girls dance seductively with their friends all the time to show off as a means of attracting guys to them that they want to dance with.

3) Use the 3 second rule for approaching, I originally thought it was just for chat approaches but seems it's for dancing too. Guys who dance near/ next to a girl without approaching are chumps as I've been doing this all the time but now I realise it's wrong and hardly ever works. For example tonights experience for me had me noticing 10 girls who probably wanted to dance with me but me dancing near them and not kinoing them there and then made them move off eventually. The 3 second rule isn't scientific fact but it does help if your like me and lose the confidence to approach quickly.

4) DO approach a girl who is dancing with her friend (especially if it's seductive dancing/kinoing with her female friend). I used to think this was a big no no but now I've been informed you should definitely go for it.

5) This is something I already knew and is pretty common sense but I thought i'd add it anyway, the last 20 minutes of club opening time is when you get lots of girls pouring on the dancefloor to try and dance with a bloke and the girls already on the dancefloor are more accepting to approaches. Be careful though as when this happens a lot of other guys who know about this stuff move in and that happened to me tonight so they all moved in before I got the balls to.

6) Advanced: Use a "pivot" (female friend) to close dance with on the dancefloor, this makes you look more attractive to the girls around you especially if shes hot. This is known as validation.

Numbers 1-3 are things I didn't realise till tonight, number 4 is something I realised a few weeks ago from experience. Number 5 is just common sense and I think everyone knows that.

Sorry this posts a bit long winded but hopefully it will help some guys who were as clueless as me about how to dance with girls on the dancefloor, also remember dance skill isn't as important as you think (confidence and body language is what is important!).
I'll probably get flamed by all the naturals and laughed at for making a guide on this but I don't mind, I don't see OcUK forums as a popularity contest lol.

I'm by no means a natural so if you think you are then please feel free to tell me what to edit/ add as neccesary. I'd be willing to bet that people who do find this post useful won't say so simply because they don't want to admit they need the knowledge. So I am expecting most of the replies to be negative :) Some girls on this forum will probably deny the rationale here because they like to believe they have the control over which guys approach.

Comments welcome, do your worst :p
 
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Raymond Lin said:
I dunno what to say, what do you call going straight up to some girl, pick her up over the shoulder and walk around the club.

Excellent, I wouldn't have the balls to do that; maybe someday :D My guides specifically for people who find it difficult to approach on the dancefloor so very overly large approaches wouldn't be suitable so baby steps first is best.

And yes Stafford campus has a nasty ratio of 10:1 of guys:girls or something. Though I don't go clubbing in SU hardly at all, I go in town which is more like 3:2 ratio.
 
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BillytheImpaler said:
I won't believe a word of this until Rich_L comes by and grants it his imprimatur.

:p

Assuming your post was slightly serious and not 100% sarcasm (obviously theres some sarcasm there :p). I'm very certain the advice in my guide is right because it feels so common sense to me and I see guys doing exactly this all the time when i'm out clubbing.

Also a lot of this information was given/ deduced from naturals/ PUA's i'd spoken too about this sort of thing. If this guide helps anyone I might make another for something else :)

I'd be interested to know what Rich_L says too given hes a guy I know on this forum to be very successful with the ladies, and a hottie to boot :o

Two other naturals that spring to mind (from what they've mentioned of their conquests) are Gilly and Otacon :cool:
 
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MasterMike said:
Succesful about half the time.

/me books a hotel in Teesside for the weekend :D Your probably just a natural without knowing it, most guys who claim it's easy are just naturals :p

edit: Or you have low standards ;) :p
 
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Sorry I should have explain better, kino means kinosthetics :)

Replies to this thread have been pretty much as expected. Anyone who actually found my guide useful obviously wouldn't admit it. Maybe people might understand what i'm on about now that i've explained that shorthand word lol.
 
Chrisp7 said:
lol! Erm basically guys, this is copied from the book "The Game". :p So you thought of all thay by yourself? "Wingman" "Pivot" "Kino" ;)

Excuse me? Have you actually read The Game?

The terms you mention above I use because they are widely used in the seduction community. Neil Strauss doesn't mention dancing in his book AFAIK.
This guide is soley of my own making using both my experience plus some advice from others. Having read your other post I don't think you have read it, it's not BS as the theory behind it has helped me with pickup considerably.

Even though your post was supposed to be critical ironically it seems to be the only post which places value on my guide heh so thats something :)

Oh CBS good reply again :) I would have said something similar but don't want to offend anyone :p
 
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Chrisp7 said:
Its all pretty obvious stuff really.

To you maybe but a lot of people really don't get it till they get experience or it's explained to them, I was one of them and made this guide through a mix of both those things.

Arcade Fire your right the whole theory revolves around SBAP but this is very difficult for some people and a structured routine for doing pickup helps them build the confidence to do it.
 
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cleanbluesky said:
Also, it doesn't take group dynamics into account. 'AMOG'ing your friends isn't neccessarily cool, and can be a sign of weakness if you try too hard at the expense of others.

The community from what I've seen abhors people who AMOG their friends, the people I know (including myself) won't AMOG strangers let alone friends, unless ofcourse the stranger AMOG's you first. AMOG'ing is for chumps IMO. My general rule in life is friends before girls anyway.

An example of a really lame AMOG some guy did on me, it was me and him chatting to this girl and after i'd won her attention over (not using MM here btw) the other guys mates would come and turn me around and be all like "hey mate"; social etc for the sole purpose of blocking me out, this happened like 3 times in a row. So knowing how to combat things like this does help, I won't explain what a good way to combat that example is here though.

CBS there's a certain theory called Mystery Method which is soley designed around group dynamics to pull a girl in said group, so I'd say it definitely does take it into account.

As for pulling a specific girl, approaches are used on your "next target" so to speak so theres always a specific in mind, unless ofcourse you have multiple immediate targets at once! Theres no reason why this can't be applied to finding a girl for an LTR either, it's all about approaching whether you want a one night stand or a # close.

As for being applied to any social situations, I completely agree it's all about social psychology in the end.
 
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Sp00n said:
I think the first guy is ugly so she fobbed him off with the bf story, the second guy isn't so she linked him.

Thats a very negative view to take and is also completely false as a generalisation. Looks account for only 1/3 of attraction from most girls perspectives IMO. If thats what you think then I invite you to try out some of the tips in my guide to use and see how much more successful you are ;)

PinkFloyd said:
Yeh tell me about it.....

Which clubs you go in down town? - can't believe there is a 3:2 ratio anywhere in Stafford.... :p

Zanzibar is probably best, Chicago rock isn't that great. They are the only two clubs in town unless you include the Litton Tree which is more like a bar than a club. 3:2 might have been too generous, probably more ike 2:1 heh, you at uni or do you work? Mind if I add you on msn? :)
 
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Tommy D said:
Just go with the flow! ;)

As I said this guide is for people who aren't naturals and for whom going with the flow would constitute very poor approaches that likely lead to rejection. I've probably had to repeat that about 3-4 times in this thread now!

Someone earlier mentioned people in the community must all be sad nerds because otherwise they'd have LTR's. Well actually a lot of them don't want LTR's and just want one night stands or multiple LTR's ;)
 
Welshy said:
Dear god, Sabaru, no :( why in gods name did you make this thread.

The ratio of men:women in town is probably around 3:2, but the ratio of nice women:wouldnt touch with a barge pole is around 1:5.

Never understand any of this kinky dancing on the dancefloor, why not just talk to them? :confused:

Answered your own question there. I made this thread because the ratio isn't great and I realise might be similar for other areas and people may benefit from the advice I gave.

As for just talking to them, I do that too but this thread is focused on the dancefloor so talking is irrelevant for the most part. Besides most of my pulls have been through dancing so it does seem like the bigger source compared to talking (in clubs I mean).
 
Chrisp7 said:
So how many 'pulls' have you had?

Nothing special, maybe 1 or 2 a week. I've only just started applying my guide to my own approaches so I don't expect results for at least a couple of weeks. I only go out clubbing once or twice a week anyway; plan to go out more though.
 
Chrisp7 said:
Riiight so you pull almost every time you go out by your comment... I smell a fish based product;)

Not necessarily, I might pull 4 times one night and 0 times for the next 2 weeks after that week.

As a FINAL WORD to the repetitive flames and insults to my guide i'm going to say this and please be open minded to see whether this applies to you:

Heres my analysis of why most of the replies to my dancefloor thread are negative. At the end of the day most people reply saying it's sad or stupid because they are so caught up with the macho man attitude guys are supposed to have these days where you believe that talking about things like behaviour modification is uncool because to admit you need it would be admitting your uncool. Obviously some of them are just naturals and don't realise you can learn the behaviour which comes naturally to them so they don't understand for that reason.

No one likes to admit they have behaved in a way which may make them less "cool" looking to girls, I believe Rich_L was only very successful with the ladies once he changed his attitude to pulling so it's not an attitude that is always just naturally there for people.
 
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daz said:
I think that's the point... there are guys that haven't got a clue how to pull, and spend their nights out standing at the edge of the dancefloor, drink in one hand checking out the totty wishing they had the confidence to do something.

Exactly. Or dancing near to the totty without going in for the approach, even worse as the girl knows your deliberately dancing near her and don't have the balls to approach :)

Daz I think you and a couple of other posters are the only guys that truly understand this. You all win a taffy, everyone else has to walk away in shame :D
 
agw_01 said:
Tried it... got a rather repulsive look (WTF, I'm not THAT ugly am I?) as one of them pushed me away. Danced next to the other one who turned her back to me waving her hands in the air so I put my hands on her hips and started dancing with her. She turned around and shook her head while moving away from me...

Some girls are just less receptive than others, my results from this are generally mixed but when it does work the other girl will either walk away and leave you to it or she may even join in :eek: :D

toastyman said:
AKA sausage fest :)

That said, the last few nights have had more and more girls at them

Maybe 30!!

Oooh pushing way into the double figures now :p Btw have fun in your 1st year because the 2nd year is twice as difficult in terms of workload. Think I spent most of my 1st year sleeping in till midday!


JonC: ASF is a big part of the seduction community so obviously the terminology I used can be found there a lot.

Nice to see some constructive discussion in the thread, oh and cool picture Rich_L!

Hangtime saw your post about closing time. Yeah it's not best to rely on going on the dancefloor at a certain time to pull, it's better to just go on to dance and enjoy the music then see what oppurtunities arise. Closing time in the clubs around here is almost always 2am so thats probably why thats the case.

A5H care to explain why this thread is self indulgent :confused:
 
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Dr Jones said:
I'm much happier knowing people through daily life than a girl from a club - even if she's drop dead gorgeous*

All depends on your social dynamic, meeting girls through friends is probably a much safer option but for a lot of people this simply isn't an option, my uni campus being a perfect example. Theres simply not enough around the campus for it to become a viable method of meeting a lot of them using the networking approach :p

Unless you meant approaching and socialising with strangers during the day.
 
A5H said:
Either way I think it's bull****. I met my current girlfriend by sitting there with some mates having a beer in a club.
You don't need to do any crazy stuff :confused:

You don't have to pull by dancing theres LOADS of ways you can get girls. Approaching during the day for a chat aswell as approaching in pubs/clubs to chat. And ofcourse social networking through your friends if thats a good option for you.

I'm just talking about dancing here I never implied there weren't other ways, you call it crazy stuff..do you realise pretty much everyone uses similar approaches to the ones I laid out? Just for most people it's natural ability.

I think you've taken this thread the wrong way, I wasn't boasting about my pulling heck if anything I was admitting my skill was quite low considering I needed to make this guide! I was simply sharing it with the OcUK community in the hope that others can benefit from it.
 
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