Signed off for two weeks.. again...

[stuppy]

Bleh.

I was off work for a about 4-5 weeks from just before christmas because of my dad dying. Was diagnosed with depression. Was put on Anti-depressants which seemed to do the trick but since it happening, i've lsot all interest in doing things like going out and getting drunk and socialising in general. About 3 weeks ago went to the docs about it and he said maybe we should try and ween me off the drugs cause i had stopped feeling down all the time but maybe they were stopping my enthusiasm for things. Anyway, weekend just gone has been bad. Lost my temper to the point I just wanted to hit and smash, and my mum is always on the end of it (not the fists, would never hit her, but she is the one I scream at).

So went docs yesterday and they have put me back on them and signed me off for two weeks. My mum went into my work yesterday behind my back to talk to my manager and explain what was what cause she knew i wouldnt tell them the whole story and they might just think im fobbing them off etc (even though i had a sick note). My manager apparently said theres no problem, but with me and only one other guy doing the graphic design work i feel well guilty that he is left to do 2 peoples work for two weeks after all the time i have had off this year.

The worrying about work makes me feel even crapper then i already am - and even though manager said not to worry and that my job is safe etc, i still cannot help it.

 

[Raumarik]

Sorry to hear about your dad, no idea how I'll cope when that happens I'm so close to my parents, see them most days etc. They're on holiday just now and it's like I've lost my two best mates! (I know how sad that might seem!)

I've never understood why they put people on medication, it seems like a knee jerk reaction, surely you'd be better off talking to a councillor or some other professional about how your feeling than being propped up by medication? I'm certainly no medical expert but it doesn't sound like a good long term solution, more of a "take these and leave me alone" response.

your worrying over your job is only natural because your a responsible adult! Try not to though, focus on yourself and if you need to try and talk to someone about how your feeling, if you haven't already.

Half expecting this to get locked..

 

[stuppy]

Shouldnt get locked cause its not medical.

RE the job. Yeh I mean at the end of the day the worst they can do is fire me which I doubt would ever happen. Just schnide on the other guy. Think i'll buy him some of his fave vodka when I go back to say thanks for understanding

 

[richard smith]

I lost my dad 2 months ago yesterday (unexpected). I found work a help as it takes your mind off things. But we're all different.

[EDIT]Keeping busy, trying to do normal things will help. You'll probably feel guilty for even laughing but it's all normal. The main point of what I'm saying is that life does have to go on. I'm sure your dad like mine would wish us to get on with our lives.

 

[Slinwagh]

I have to agree about the medication, I would bin it off at the end of the day it only masks the issues you have.

Don't be angry with your mum, she did what she did becasue she was looking out for you.

Now I mean absolutely no offence with what Im going to say, Im going to be honest, my dad died when I was sixteen so I do sympathise with you.

Your dad is dead and you are greiving, but what ever happens from now until eternity that isn't going to change and you need to find a way to deal with it.

My advice is try and find someone to talk to, a friend, family or a counsellor or just spill your guts on here. Somewhere there is a solution that is right for you.

Right now your stuck in a cycle and you need to break it and get back into some sort of "normal" routine. Try getting back into a hobby if you have one, if not take one up or join in with something your mates do.

It might not be easy for you at first but if you stick at it so to speak you will find you can still grieve but at the same time get on with your life.

There is nothing wrong with being angry or upset, they are two of the emotion that most people go though when grieving.

 

[Murf]

I'm always cautious about dishing out my opinions on these matters. I'm against medication for depression as I can't see how it fixes anything, it just delays you dealing with the issue, and you could become dependant. But I've never been depressed, and I have a knack of burying any kind of emotional trauma to the point where I'm effectively an emotional retard, not much bothers me in the slightest.

I personally think keeping yourself occupied, and simply accepting the hand you've been dealt would be the best course of action, stay off the meds. But I'm not a doctor, or a psychiatrist and I'm not in any position to give that advice. Discuss it with your mother, your friends and your doctor, no doubt they'll be incredibly supportive and you may need them to get you through it.

 

[Metalface Mark]

Unfortunately the help for people with mental health issues in the UK is not great. My wife works for a new pilot scheme where doctors refer people with mental health issues to her service.

Did you suffer from problems before your dad died? If you didnt, it sounds like it was grief counciling you needed, not anti depressants.

Basically if you have been bottling emotions for 9 months, being masked by anti depressants, then you have not yet been dealing with the death of your father, you didnt give any details of how he died or what your relationship was like with him, but to me, (and my knowledge is limited to speaking to my wife about other peoples problems), then you need to work through that.

If your coming off anti depressants though, you should come off them over a period of a couple of months, if you came off them too soon, it can leave you in a worse position than before, which also sounds like something your going through, you probably need to go back on them and come off them sensibly and properly, unfortunately, most GP's have limited knowledge regarding mental health, they are jack of all trades, masters of none.

Ask your GP to refer you to a councillor to discuss your problems, I dont think you were depressed to start though, just grief stricken (understandably).

 

[Moley]

Listen Stubby,

If you are feeling *something*, then that is to some extent "normal", if you are feeling "numb" or "nothing" or have no energy or will do anything - you are suffering from depression!

I've been there, my Mum has been there and my Fiancee is just getting over depression so I know what I'm talking about.

Your Dads passing away is an event you need time to recover from - don't rush it! It is perfectly NORMAL to take several YEARS to recover from the death of a parent. Do not put yourself under any pressure to:

a) "Get better" fast
b) Get off the medication that may be helping you live your life in the meantime.

Yes the drugs are an artificial product that puts you in an artificial state of mind, but don't let the antimedication nazi's (no offence intended to anyone in this thread) tell you that you don't need/shouldn't take them. You take them as long as you need and gradually wean yourself off them.

If you are not getting on with the current brand/type you are using ask your doctor to prescribe another type. My Missus had to try several befor settling on Citalopram which has worked wonders for her.

I wish you well.

J.