Slight OT: Sort Motors Related Rant & Advice Required

minimadmotorman

minimadmotorman

minimadmotorman

Associate
Joined
11 Dec 2009
Posts
530
Location
Barnsley
Ok,

Had a little xmas party back on December 22nd at our house with plenty of guests, one of the couples who came wasn't drinking and needed to leave at approx 10:30pm. As she was reversing off the drive she reversed into a neighbours fence (i say fence it's a 4x4 post fence which is only 2ft4" high, so not the easiest to see out the mirrors in the dark).

She stopped and as I heard the noise I went out. The damage to the fence wasn't too bad, it had just pushed one of the posts over to approx 45degrees as they are only set in sand. I made the fence safe and told my friend to get off home and I would go see the neighbour in the morning.

Got a text from said neighbour about 20 mins later asking if we knew who had hit the fence, so I popped round and explained the situation to her and said I would put the fence right the next day when I had sobered up. She was all nicey nicey saying ok, thats fine as long as nobody was hurt etc. Even got a text saying this (kept them all).

Next morning at 8:45 whilst I was nursing a hangover she came banging on the door saying she wanted the name and address of my friend to report them for not stopping at the scene of any accident!? I managed to talk her down and said I would fix the fence that day. (I forgot to mention that the fence has been hit twice before and wasn't in a fantastic state I have repaired it before for her as a favour when a visitor to another house hit it and cleared off.)

I went out at 10am. straightened the post and repacked the sand it was set in putting it back to the condition it was in the last time it was hit. I've even ordered a couple of reflectors and some reflective tape to put on the fence to make it more visible (haven't applied these yet as I ordered them on the 24th and they were only delivered this week). After a few more choice words that day she said she was happy it was fixed and that was that, but when my friend next comes around she is going to give her a piece of her mind (whatever lady!)

Last night 3rd Jan when I was coming back from walking the dog I saw a woman who was visiting said neighbour having a little tug on the fence (this set alarm bells ringing). This morning I had a little note shoved through the door which read:-


Dear Me n her,

Happy New Year,

Can you please let me have the name and address of your friend who hit my fence on the night of your party as I need to pass the information to the police.

Cheers,
Ugly Face

My missus called the south yorks neighbourhood team just to ask as we are expecting her to get the police involved. They said that as it's private property that it is a civil matter and nothing to do with the police and that she's just using scare tactics.

I've spoken to my friend who hit the fence and they are happy to go round and speak with her. His brother runs a fencing company and said if push comes to shove he'll fix the fence FOC.

My missus replied as follows:-

Hi Ugly Face,
Happy New Year to you too. I contacted SNT when I saw your note, just to check on the legal position on passing on the name and address of other people without their consent. They have advised that as it is a civil matter, all we can do is approach them to ask if they mind their address being passed on.

We have contacted our friend and they says that they would prefer to speak face to face. Are you available tomorrow? If you are not available, please could you let us know a time that suits you?

Thanks,
Me n Her


responses back (via text message):-

That would be great if they can come around at 5pm thanks.

then another:-

And by the way, it is criminal damage 2 a fence and leaving the scene of an accident are both criminal offences and will be treated as such should I report the matter to SYPD. This is NOT a neighbour dispute, thank you I'm very grateful to you 2 for making the fence safe but it now needs repairing properly & I know thats not your responsibility. I have reported it to the police so you two may be visited at some point.

Is this woman insane? BTW she is a motoring law specialist by trade, lived with a traffic plod for 13 years (wonder why he left her) is an advanced driver (but doesn't have a car).

Sorry for the rant! Any advice? Sensible or otherwise?
 
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minimadmotorman said:
Any advice? Sensible or otherwise?
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Get rid of the swearing.

minimadmotorman said:
My missus called the south yorks neighbourhood team just to ask as we are expecting her to get the police involved. They said that as it's private property that it is a civil matter and nothing to do with the police and that she's just using scare tactics.
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Heard this a few times, so if I lose it on a corner and come through the front of your house it's OK because it's a 'civil' matter.
 
Can't give you much advice, but a bit of info that might be relevant to you at this link: http://www.lawdonut.co.uk/law/personal-law/personal-injury/road-traffic-accidents

"You are legally required to stop after a road traffic accident, even if no other vehicle was involved, if:
anyone (other than you) is injured
another vehicle or any other property is damaged
an animal on the road or in another car is injured (but not an animal in your own vehicle)
items such as a street lamp, bollard, road sign or any other normal street ‘furniture’ are damaged"

"You must stay with your vehicle long enough to provide your name and address, the name and address of the vehicle’s owner (if different) and the registration number to anyone involved in the accident. This could be an injured person, the owner of property damaged by, or an animal injured in, the accident, a police officer or a witness to the accident."

"You must report the accident to the police if you cannot exchange details with the other party involved, and/or provide your insurance certificate, at the time of the accident. You should also report the accident if you believe an offence has been committed. You must do this as soon as possible, within 24 hours after the accident. However, if you can produce your insurance at the time, and you have also given all the information required, there is no need to involve the police."
 
Oh I know the feeling this sort of thing creates. I am a director of a management company and therefore have to deal with neighbours and we have neighbours who re quite frankly a challenge to manage. It can waste your time when in reality often all they are trying to do is prove they are cleverer than you and lose any aspect of sensible pragmatism simply because, well, they know best.

My advice is write to them, confirm what you've said and say if they feel strongly about it then you will leave it to them to take the course of action they see fit and will deal with it then but for now you believe the issue to be addressed and closed and have acted as you said you would and as they agreed would satisfy them (keep the texts).

She will have probably spoken to 'others' got all riled up and is now acting like a burty blunt.
 
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Housey said:
It can waste your time when in reality all they are trying to do is prove they are cleverer than you and lose any aspect of sensible pragmatism simply because, well, they know best.

She will have probably spoken to 'others' got all riled up and is now acting like a burty blunt.
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I think you've hit the nail on the head. She does things such as putting her sunglasses on when she starts a conflict so you can't look her in the eye. She knows everyones business. She even threatened to take note of the registration of every vehichle that visits my house!?

She also has spoken to anyone that will listen about the fence as she has been to see most of the neighbours about it (btw all of which hate her because she has upset them at some point over the last 12 months)
 
She sounds like she sees an opportunity to claim for a new fence / wall, despite you sorting it out.

Seems very arsey of her, especially given a: it was already damaged & b: you've fixed it.

I'd be inclined to let her do her worse, you suddenly "forget" who hit it, due to drink at the time and see how far she gets - not very I'd wager! But hey, it's your neighbour, not mine....
 
The Police will not be interested, her only course of action will be to take civil action which I expect would cost her and based on purely your side of things, would be thrown out. You have fixed the problem, made good damage and offered to improve the fence to reduce the risk. No one was hurt, no 3rd part was involved and therefore I can't see her winning anything with a civil action. You have offered to get the driver to speak with the neighbour, park it with that neighbour and leave it there.
 
Brookert said:
I would just put your friend in touch with them and leave it at that. There's no dealing with irrational women.
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They have arranged to come see her tomorrow. TBH I'd be quite happy if she agrees to let them have the fence fixed for her but I don't really think they should be paying for the lot as it's been damaged previously.

I just want it out of my hair and not to have to deal with her anymore. I've always tried to keep things friendly with her as she lives so close (had a NFH before and don't want another). But this thing has really put me off her and I want nothing more to do with her in future.
 
minimadmotorman said:
I think you've hit the nail on the head. She does things such as putting her sunglasses on when she starts a conflict so you can't look her in the eye. She knows everyones business. She even threatened to take note of the registration of every vehichle that visits my house!?

She also has spoken to anyone that will listen about the fence as she has been to see most of the neighbours about it (btw all of which hate her because she has upset them at some point over the last 12 months)
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You can't please all the people all the time. I learnt many years ago it's wasted effort and best avoided. Do what you believe to be honourable and correct and if she takes it further deal with it then. Ignore the noise and the correspondence unless is formalised legal requests, which I would say is highly unlikely. Does she work or does she sit at home all day with time to burn, this also is an issue as some neighbours have nothing in their life really and therefore a 'battle' is something that gives them huge personal satisfaction.
 
mjt said:
My 2p:
Not really your problem.
Your mate said she would fix it FOC, leave it between them.
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This, pretty much. They damaged the fence and offered to repair it for free - sounds fair enough, no need to go any further?

I'd mention you saw someone pulling on the fence to make the damage worse though - if they are getting all uptight about it, it might make them think twice about pursuing legal action if they know you're on to them.
 
Kingy said:
12 posts, and nobody has yet raised the most pertinent question here:-

Is she hot?
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No! She's a 42 year old hippocrocopig!

Housey said:
You can't please all the people all the time. I learnt many years ago it's wasted effort and best avoided. Do what you believe to be honourable and correct and if she takes it further deal with it then. Ignore the noise and the correspondence unless is formalised legal requests, which I would say is highly unlikely. Does she work or does she sit at home all day with time to burn, this also is an issue as some neighbours have nothing in their life really and therefore a 'battle' is something that gives them huge personal satisfaction.
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Again, bang right. She does work, but other than that she appears to little/no life. Her only friend as far as I can tell is the one neighbour on our estate who she hasn't managed to **** off and alienate (only moved in, in october).
 
Housey said:
You can't please all the people all the time. I learnt many years ago it's wasted effort and best avoided. Do what you believe to be honourable and correct and if she takes it further deal with it then. Ignore the noise and the correspondence unless is formalised legal requests, which I would say is highly unlikely. Does she work or does she sit at home all day with time to burn, this also is an issue as some neighbours have nothing in their life really and therefore a 'battle' is something that gives them huge personal satisfaction.
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You've just summed up 50% of people in this country.
 
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