So... We are considering fostering...

[Transform_IT]

Hi guys,

So, this Christmas me and the wife sat down and discussed the potential of increasing our family size. We currently have two biological daughters aged 6 & 7. We have a good size 4-bed detached house and would like to extend this home and the love within it, to less fortunate children who need that stability and support. We spoke about having a baby and adoption, but when reading into fostering, we believe we would get more out of it by helping others. My wife grandparents fostered for 30 years and they would often share stories of their experiences and the many children that past through their doors. I know it's not a simple and quick process and there is a lot to think about. But, its still early days and we are only in the enquiry stages.

We are waiting to hear back from our local agency/foster group and will see how that goes. In the meantime, I was wondering if anybody could share any information surrounding the process and what we are to expect - or any relevant and useful information.

Many thanks,

T_IT.

 

[Transform_IT]

I’d be interested in experiences from anyone here, my wife and I have often discussed it. From what I know it doesn’t sound like an easy process, even if your the perfect fit for the process.

it's quite sad, really. You want to better a child life, albeit sometimes short term and there are very few foster carers these days, yet a lot of applicants get declined for silly reasons based on little facts.

 

[Transform_IT]

Thanks for the comments and advice, guys. When it comes to safeguarding and ensuring my children aren't wildly affected by fostering, it is my understanding that you don't have to accept placement requests, as not all will be suitable for your lifestyle etc. For example, I've heard stories of people accepting placements for children who go to school over an hour from the family home. This resulted in 4 hours driving every day for a school run, when they had their own children who also attended school.

We've taken the first step and I'll keep you all updated.

 

[Transform_IT]

Aside from the income (which is a good income)

the children usually would have needs etc.

but also be mindful that placement is not long term. So you will likely have lots of kids coming in and out. But you need to speak to your own children about it and make sure they are part of the process all the way. Being 6&7 only I feel it may be difficult for them to comprehend what a change fostering is and also may prevent them effectively communicate any issues they have to you.

I don’t know if there is an age group of kids you can foster. But you certainly don’t want some kids come in and bringing habits or behaviour that your kids end up picking up.

I know a few people foster, they tend to have either kids in the teens or their kids are all grown up and left the nest.

I hear exactly what you're saying as a lot of it is similar to what we have discussed. I've been on various forums and read similar stories of foster carers with with children a similar age to mine. I suppose it all comes down to the situation the fostered child is in, what they have been exposed to and the ability of our parenting towards them and our own children. Under no circumstances would we want our own children being exposed to behaviours and situations that make their life difficult. However, it can come with the territory and is something we need to learnt to adapt and cope with. It's early days still, but we have a family member who adopted for 30 years and the stories they share, albeit some are distressing and sad, most are positive and of happy memories.

 

[Transform_IT]

I may be misreading this completely but your whole posts screams "we did it for profit" which is of course completely wrong.


EDIT: Having just read through your post again, even asking my wife to confirm my beliefs, you should not be allowed to look after any children who clearly need a loving environment.

See, I read this differently. I read that it was difficult for his own children to integrate with some of the foster kids and that the real hard work was when they had to deal with the social workers etc. But, the children they fostered were loved, cared for and spoilt. This happened due to them both being able to commit to it full time, which was was made possible thanks to the salary, benefits and tax relief. Now he is working full time, he can't commit to fostering, as it wouldn't be fair to the kids or his own family, therefore he doesn't wan to do it again. If he was a greedy, money-hungry pig, he'd do both and not care about the children.