Stay at current place or leave for new pastures

Soldato
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Just need a second opinion as I've got no one to run this past in my circle.

Been offered a new role for £118K with a max 22% bonus + £750 PM in car allowance. It's a hybrid role at a big tech company. Role sounds pretty intense - I'm confident I could do it, but it would probably only be sustainable for 2-3 years. Pension is setup that if I do 3% employer will do 5%. 25 days holday.

Handed my notice in at my current employer and they have come back and offered to bump my pay from 80K to 100K if I stay (got it in writing and signed by the CFO). I get a max 10% bonus. I also get a bump linked to inflation every year with this job as long as I keep performing (not a problem - I've got it every year for the last 11 years). For pension I do 3% and my employer is putting in 9%.

I've got a newborn due in early 2025, and a 3 year old in preschool right now.

I like my current job, and only started looking around due to extra kiddo on the way. But now my current place is offering me a big bump I'm tempted to stay (I like working with my team, and I've basically got complete autonomy to do my work however I like). I get 35 days holiday.

What would you do?

- If I stay I have a lot of flex with my time, I deliver about 35 hours a week for most of the year, but do insane hours for a couple of weeks at a time maybe once a quarter. No one questions anything if I leave early or start late, and I'm very well known and respected in the business. I go to the office in London 2 days a week and normally stay over to save on travel costs and commute time. I like the work - and most of the systems I design and build are up there with best (or better) than big vendors have to offer (but massively cheaper) - which is quite satisfying.

- If I leave I get 20K ish more in salary, and the car allowance, but I loose all free childcare hours and the tax free childcare accounts from the Gov schemes. It would make sense to look at salary sacrifice into pension for at least the next 3/4 years to retain the childcare stuff possibly - but then I'm not immediately seeing the benefit of my new wage (and have no concerns regarding the current state of my pension anyway). I don't think I'll get any flex on my time - but it's a remote role with 2 days a month at clients.
 
New role pays £18k more with up to 12% more bonus (lets say 5% on average) and the car allowance, vs current role with 4% more pension and 10 days extra holiday.
2 days a month on client site vs 2 days a week in office.

New job sounds much better financially but it sounds like you quite like the current setup due to the flexibility, respect, job satisfaction etc. Is there any room to negotiate with the current employer i.e. a number for which you'd turn down the new job?

The childcare thing I wouldn't overthink when it comes to comparisons because if you stay with your current employer you will be over 100k due to the bonus anyway, so you'll probably want to overpay pension regardless of what option you pick.
 
Honestly with a new born on the way very soon I wouldn't be going anywhere, it's not a good time to be trying to get yourself up to speed in what sounds like is going to be quite an intense new role and that holiday and flexibility in my mind would be worth the slightly less cash money at least until the new kid is a bit older.
 
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Did you only hand your notice in for a new role because of incoming child? Or were there other reasons you weren’t happy with the current role?
 
Just to note that the extra money in the new job over 100k should (would) go directly into your pension via salary sacrifice so that you qualify for childcare and avoid 60% tax.

The two important bits of information you've missed is how solid/profitable both companies are as this would decide it for me and if there is potential for off shoring your job. I would be more tempted to go rather than stay if long term prospects are better but you need to weigh it up against security and how easy you would get a similar paying job if you get binned in 6 months. With car allowance the new place looks
 
Taking on a role that intense you think you could only keep up for 2 or 3 years just as you're about to have a newborn into the family... You sure that's going to work?
Unless you've got a lot of help with childcare, won't be woken up in the night etc it really doesn't sound like now is the right time for a job like that.
 
Been offered a new role for £118K with a max 22% bonus + £750 PM in car allowance. It's a hybrid role at a big tech company. Role sounds pretty intense [...]

Handed my notice in at my current employer and they have come back and offered to bump my pay from 80K to 100K if I stay (got it in writing and signed by the CFO). [...]

I've got a newborn due in early 2025, and a 3 year old in preschool right now.

I guess one point to consider here (if you are likely to move jobs at some point in the near future) is when is the most stressful time (obvs I'd expect you'd take a few weeks either way) but you've had a kid before - does your wife work? If you both decide that you're going to go for the higher-paid job then is she taking full maternity leave?

Like if the initial year is actually more doable *because* your wife will be a mum 24/7, no work commitments etc.. and then subsequent years potentially more stressful as she returns to work? Like if you were to decide you want a change later + your wife returns to work at the same time would that be more chaotic?

Also, I guess it's hybrid so you're still seeing the new baby, albeit when popping out for cups of tea from the study or whatever.

- If I leave I get 20K ish more in salary, and the car allowance, but I loose all free childcare hours and the tax free childcare accounts from the Gov schemes. It would make sense to look at salary sacrifice into pension for at least the next 3/4 years to retain the childcare stuff possibly - but then I'm not immediately seeing the benefit of my new wage (and have no concerns regarding the current state of my pension anyway).

I wouldn't necessarily write off the pension, obvs LTA is currently scrapped but may be re-introduced so if you're not on course for at least £1M then might still be a good idea to keep adding to it.

Yeah, you're basically going to have the same net take-home in both jobs as in both case you'd want to make contributions to your pension to bring income under £100k + avoid the tapering of your personal allowance too! But...

... also consider future moves. Are you at the top of your profession - is this near the max of what you will be able to earn or (you mention this role likely being stressful/only doing it for a few years) could the next move be more of a management type one - is there a path to significantly higher paying roles here. If so then does the experience from the new role help with that? Secondly being on £140k rather than £110k may give you a bit more leverage when dealing with recruiters too.

Lastly double check the pension - you're in a sweet spot at the moment but a particularly generous employer contribution can get some people close to the 60k annual contribution limit - if you're putting say 45k into a pension how much gets matched... I think it still brings you down for child tax credit purposes but you'd have some tax to pay on the contribution if the employer matching was also 45k.
 
I'd stay, but i'm always wary - why have they only offered you a bump when you are leaving? This should have been forthcoming without the need of a threat of going.

The old adage used to be if a pay bump only comes after having a job elsewhere and you choose to stay, you won't be there very long as you are seen as a flight risk. No idea if that is true nowadays.
 
why have they only offered you a bump when you are leaving? This should have been forthcoming without the need of a threat of going.
because it's the way the world works. Businesses are there to make money, they will minimise costs, which includes paying you the minimum they can for the maximum output. If getting a large salary is one of your key motivators then the best advice is to job hop every ~2 years or so.
 
Honestly with a new born on the way very soon I wouldn't be going anywhere, it's not a good time to be trying to get yourself up to speed in what sounds like is going to be quite an intense new role and that holiday and flexibility in my mind would be worth the slightly less cash money at least until the new kid is a bit older.
This is a good point - I would normally work like a demon and quickly prove myself to the new place when I take a new role, as I like to get established before I start taking any liberties. I'm probably not going to be able to do that if I move as I'll have the newbie to help look after. First few months is going to be brutal.

Did you only hand your notice in for a new role because of incoming child? Or were there other reasons you weren’t happy with the current role?
Money was the driver - we have our mortgage renewal coming up in August 2025, one of our cars on its last legs, and they'll soon be an extra set of nursery fees to pay. Its not that I couldn't afford all that on my salary - but its leaving nothing in the tank for savings.

Just to note that the extra money in the new job over 100k should (would) go directly into your pension via salary sacrifice so that you qualify for childcare and avoid 60% tax.

The two important bits of information you've missed is how solid/profitable both companies are as this would decide it for me and if there is potential for off shoring your job. I would be more tempted to go rather than stay if long term prospects are better but you need to weigh it up against security and how easy you would get a similar paying job if you get binned in 6 months. With car allowance the new place looks
Current place and new place are both global firms with good performance in dominant market positions. Both firms do offshoring - but not for senior roles (at the moment). I don't think I'd struggle to get another job, but nearly everything I've been approached for in the last couple of years has been 3-5 days in the office per week so I haven't considered them (really like the balance I get with WFH) - but if the choice was between unemployment and 5 days in an office, I would deffo take the job. Commute into central London is about 1:30 for most bits of town - but its pricey.

Taking on a role that intense you think you could only keep up for 2 or 3 years just as you're about to have a newborn into the family... You sure that's going to work?
Unless you've got a lot of help with childcare, won't be woken up in the night etc it really doesn't sound like now is the right time for a job like that.
You may well be right on this - my partner will be taking 1 year mat leave, and we will have some help from family - but I fully expect to be completely knackered.

I'd stay, but i'm always wary - why have they only offered you a bump when you are leaving? This should have been forthcoming without the need of a threat of going.

The old adage used to be if a pay bump only comes after having a job elsewhere and you choose to stay, you won't be there very long as you are seen as a flight risk. No idea if that is true nowadays.
They've offered me the bump I think as I just completed the roadmap for my team 2025, and though I'm sure they could deliver it without me it will cost them a lot in external consultants until they can replace me. I normally save the company more money in cloud costs and licences than I cost them in salary. Interesting point on being seen as a flight risk now - I probably would be if I didn't have the family side of it to consider for the next little while.
 
I guess one point to consider here (if you are likely to move jobs at some point in the near future) is when is the most stressful time (obvs I'd expect you'd take a few weeks either way) but you've had a kid before - does your wife work? If you both decide that you're going to go for the higher-paid job then is she taking full maternity leave?

Like if the initial year is actually more doable *because* your wife will be a mum 24/7, no work commitments etc.. and then subsequent years potentially more stressful as she returns to work? Like if you were to decide you want a change later + your wife returns to work at the same time would that be more chaotic?

Also, I guess it's hybrid so you're still seeing the new baby, albeit when popping out for cups of tea from the study or whatever.



I wouldn't necessarily write off the pension, obvs LTA is currently scrapped but may be re-introduced so if you're not on course for at least £1M then might still be a good idea to keep adding to it.

Yeah, you're basically going to have the same net take-home in both jobs as in both case you'd want to make contributions to your pension to bring income under £100k + avoid the tapering of your personal allowance too! But...

... also consider future moves. Are you at the top of your profession - is this near the max of what you will be able to earn or (you mention this role likely being stressful/only doing it for a few years) could the next move be more of a management type one - is there a path to significantly higher paying roles here. If so then does the experience from the new role help with that? Secondly being on £140k rather than £110k may give you a bit more leverage when dealing with recruiters too.

Lastly double check the pension - you're in a sweet spot at the moment but a particularly generous employer contribution can get some people close to the 60k annual contribution limit - if you're putting say 45k into a pension how much gets matched... I think it still brings you down for child tax credit purposes but you'd have some tax to pay on the contribution if the employer matching was also 45k.

Partner works full time, does 4 days in and stays over for 3 nights to cut the commuting costs (So I do most of the stuff for our 3 year old). She'll be doing 1 year of mat leave, but only 6 months of full pay, 3 months half pay, and 3 months no pay. We've put some money aside to cover the shortfall in income next year.

When she returns to work I expect she'll cut back to 2 days max in the office with one night staying in London. She doesn't want to be a stay at home type - she's got a decent career and earns similar money to me (but in a sector with lower adoption of hybrid/remote work).

With 2 small kids I expect life to be complete chaos no matter what :)

Future moves - I've got no idea. I'm at or near the top of the skills tree. If I was willing to work in Finance sector I could probably get 200K - but I'd probably never see my kids. I've got friends who work in Amazon on AWS who earn crazy money - but it sounds like a pretty brutal place to work. I've done people management but don't particularly like it, but I don't mind managing managers, roles like that take me away from my skills in and into the drudgery of budgets/finance etc. so doesn't really appeal.

Consultancy would probably be a logical place to progress to.

Will double check the pension stuff - thanks!
 
Did you only hand your notice in for a new role because of incoming child? Or were there other reasons you weren’t happy with the current role?
This TBH. Even with an extra hundred grand any issues you have currently will still be there. Something like 80% of people who accept a counter offer from their current employer leave within 18 months anyway.
 
because it's the way the world works. Businesses are there to make money, they will minimise costs, which includes paying you the minimum they can for the maximum output. If getting a large salary is one of your key motivators then the best advice is to job hop every ~2 years or so.
Most places you'll be lucky to even get an inflation matching raise, never mind anything like 10% but if you job hop it's not unheard of to get 1.5x, sometimes even double if your jump is big enough. Nowhere on earth will you get a 50% raise in the same job.
 
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I'd move forward. If there's pressure to destaff, the fact they have had to offer you more money to stay puts you on the ejection list. Add to that you're obviously undervalued and they have acknowledged that simply reinforces the point.
 
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