Strip club etiquette.

[h4rm0ny]

So a friend wants me to go to a strip club with them. Cue jokes but yes, this actually is the situation. Oddly (or not oddly if you knew me), I'm far more worried about social embarrassment from not knowing how much / when to tip or how things are done than about going to such an establishment.

What is normal in these places? Are you supposed to get several lap dances, one an hour? How much are you supposed to tip or are there set prices? I'm sure there are several GD'ers who are more experienced in such matters and can say what is a normal evening for such a thing.

Please note that answers of "whatever you feel like" will help me less than you think because my main concern is not fitting in, which I suspect will already be the case to begin with.

 

[h4rm0ny]

Never been to one, but surely your friend is the one to answer these questions.

Well honestly, (and I can't believe I'm about to say this), I'd rather be guided by GD. I want to have some idea before I go in as I don't really want to be just trying to follow his queues. I also suspect he might be a little tight-fisted so I want a wider sampling for my barometer. I really, really hate causing offence accidentally.

 

[h4rm0ny]

No tips needed.

Only have a private dance if you want to.

Have as many or as few as you want.

Just carry on as if you were socialising down the pub with your friends but enjoy the view too

Isn't it a bit rude / problematic to go to one and not tip dancers buy a dance? Like going to a restaurant and not buying a meal. Note, I'm not disputing what you say at all - just this would be my expectation.

You sound like how I would feel about going to a strip club. I wouldn't go.

I kind of feel I should. Seems to be kind of a trendy thing. I guess in part I do just not want to be a prude. I have been in one once before when I was out with a group of men but I didn't stay in there long.

 

[h4rm0ny]

This, I also find that it helps to tell the girls up front if you aren't intending on buying a private dance, saves them wasting their time on trying to sell you on one.

Thanks. That's very helpful.

 

[h4rm0ny]

We even had someone (a regular apparently) who paid hundreds, if not thousands, just to sit and chat with a stripper for a good chunk of the night. A nice way to burn some money lol.

I was about to say that I'm in the wrong line of business! - but then I realised that sitting and listening to someone I found annoying for more than five minutes is probably humanly impossible for me.

They would like you to have lots and lots but you don't have to have a single one.

Thanks. This is feeling a little more comfortable now. TBH, I expect my friend to be the one buying them, though perhaps I might out of curiosity if I'm feeling comfortable there.

There are some places where they come around with a tip jar and it's compulsory to put a pound in.

A pound? Well that's certainly not a problem. They can come round as often as they like if it's just a quid. I've had no idea what sort of budget I'm supposed to allocate for this. I'm fairly sure my colleague will run out of money before I do, anyway.

Remember that they generally charge by the song and if you're enjoying it, three or four songs can go past very quickly and you end up with a large bill. It's easy to get caught up in the moment of things.

Thanks - I'll watch out for that.

Assuming this is in the UK, if you have a private dance then sit on your hands.

Yes, UK. And not a problem!

 

[h4rm0ny]

I worked as a doorman at some of the strip clubs in Liverpool for a few months.

The whole set up in these places is designed to part you of as much of your cash as possible and the girls are absolutely ruthless with it.

***Do not use your debit or credit card in a strip club*** There's usually a hefty transaction fee or some automatic gratuity added to card payments.

Set yourself a spending limit, don't get talked into the girls escorting you to the cash machine which they're very good at.

How much you should tip depends on how your deep your pockets are but id say a tenner minimum.

I'm the sort of person who always over-tips in restaurants because they're afraid of looking cheap. £15-20 alright, then? I will stay well away from cash machines and take a bundle of cash.

 

[h4rm0ny]

I wouldnt bother, hideously expensive, just tell him to watch porn on the net.

Not an image I needed. Thank you!

 

[h4rm0ny]

Is there any evidence to support this? Or are you talking about the same young people that idolise Cardi B and Little Mix (et al) who mostly dress like cheap strippers? Because it sounds like nonsense.

PS: Side question. For those who have been to a strip club whilst in a relationship, did you tell your other half before/after/never?

There's no evidence to support it. And the overlap between radical feminists and F1 racing / darts / boxing attendees is, I should think, quite slim. I saw a number of debates on TV and online between actual grid girls and feminists telling them they were degrading themselves and should be stopped. I didn't see young people ("hello fellow young people" / stevebuscemi) deriding it or saying it put them off going. Lard's just made up something that they'd like to be true.

 

[h4rm0ny]

How was it?

I've been with friends in the past and it really wasn't for me. There were nice enough people there but nothing that can't be found in a pub or club environment.

Next weekend. I'll let people know. I got ahead of myself a bit.

 

[h4rm0ny]

EDIT: See reply below.

 

[h4rm0ny]

I have no recollection of having written that.

Okay. The reason I haven't replied to this thread for ages is because I was hoping the question would go away. I AM female. Not trans. I've never actually lied about that on these forums until I was backed into a corner by this thread, but that's not to say I haven't deliberately worded things to avoid saying I'm female. I have no problem with being female but I have had some very bad experiences in the past and wanted to play on the way people tend to assume you're male unless they know otherwise. Especially if you write on technical subjects a lot. I'm sorry I misled. It's cheap behaviour and there's no real rational reason for it as nobody on these forums has ever shown a reason not to state it. Still, not all behaviour is rational, particularly that rooted in bad experiences. Obviously on some past occasions I've been more open about it. I have no idea how I managed to write what I did about "a group of men" without spotting what I'd said.

Sorry for not being straight with those it mattered to. And definitely no implication intended to anyone on these forums that I was made to feel I would be unwelcome as a woman.