Stupid Cat

Greenlizard0 · 4 Mar 2006 at 11:43

There's a neighbourhood cat that keeps sleeping in our back yard. We normally don't really mind but now the bugger's using it as a toilet and we can't seem to get rid of it!

Does anybody have any suggestions?

Greenlizard0 · 4 Mar 2006 at 11:46

No I want more humane results please

Though kicking the ******* has crossed my mind.

I'm envious of cats tbh, i'd like to be one in my next life. This one is asleep when i'm out for a morning ciggie, and then it's in the same position at 5:00pm - it's not even moved! What a great life!

Greenlizard0 · 4 Mar 2006 at 11:55

Whitewater said:
Are you sure it's alive?

Erm yes, it crapped in our back garden. I'm not a believer of that South Park episode where things poo when they're about to die.

Greenlizard0 · 4 Mar 2006 at 12:14

Mmm....I might nip down to town and get a supersoaker. Fill it with acid!! ahahah burn cat BURN!!!

Might see if I can get some animal rights protesters at the same time. And Jehova's witnesses too. Stupid ******** woke me up at 10:45 this morning

Greenlizard0 · 4 Mar 2006 at 12:18

Nix said:
I'm not usually a praying man, but if you're up there... please save me Superman!

Doubt he's in heaven. The wheelchair needs a floor for a start..

Greenlizard0 · 4 Mar 2006 at 13:11

VIRII said:
No need to leave the chair, order your poo online.

http://www.crocus.co.uk/search/pr/?ContentType=Product_Card&ClassID=2000004185&CategoryID=

Worth enquiring if they do a bogof (buy one get one free)

The link's hilarious. The expression on the lion's face.

"King of the jungle? pah.... they're only after me pooh..."

Greenlizard0 · 4 Mar 2006 at 14:31

Treefrog said:
Here's one that tried it while I was in the shower:

Lol the expression says it all

Greenlizard0 · 4 Mar 2006 at 16:01

Amp34 said:
Great idea...

Get an air horn and let it off next to its ear when its asleep! *evil smiley*

That goes to the top of my list

You sir are a genius!

Greenlizard0 · 4 Mar 2006 at 17:20

er what is that?

Greenlizard0 · 5 Mar 2006 at 03:19

bloody hell cave man

Greenlizard0 · 5 Mar 2006 at 16:42

Aye but I bet the bugger's got fleas or something. I think i'll build a giant mousetrap. I wonder if it'll realise the irony as it lies there being impaled.

Greenlizard0 · 5 Mar 2006 at 16:45

LOL, the best suggestion yet - cut it's whiskers off. Apparently they then lose their balence and start walking into things (like my axe).

Greenlizard0 · 1 Apr 2006 at 13:21

Ok this is starting to take the biscuit. The puny excuse for an existance has vomited on top of the back door!! GARRRGGGHHH!!!! :mad:

Greenlizard0 · 1 Apr 2006 at 18:17

uh update:

It's not vomited on the top of our wall, it's my housemate who put bird seed there. I'm too small to jump up and see it all so I thought it was cat puke!! haha lol

Greenlizard0 · 1 Apr 2006 at 18:39

kitten_caboodle said:
lmao, you numpty

...and tell your housemate to stop putting bird seed out - it's probably what's atracting the cat in the first place - they like birds, see

That's really logical (for a girl).

Greenlizard0 · 1 Apr 2006 at 18:55

kitten_caboodle said:
I'm also a geek and that is my super-geek power - The Power of Logical Thought

:/

Greenlizard0 · 1 Apr 2006 at 19:57

Mr Joshua said:
If it's definitely your neighbours cat I think I'd be very tempted to get a spade and fling the muck at his back or front door, then it's his problem.

Interesting. Maybe a huge catapult.