The 120 Toilet Roll Challenge

Seraphim · 28 Sep 2005 at 18:45

My flatmate and I have come into possession of 120 of the finest quilted toilet rolls, and we've got no idea what to do with them all. So far we've already built a three-sided bog roll pyramid:

But that didn't satisfy our insatiable appetite for poo-paper structures, so I set about blocking his door up before he got back from work:

But the fun soon wore off, even after playing crap-rag Jenga (which I lost

), so we then made Paris de Toilette, with the Eiffel Tower and a magnificent Arc de Triomphe (Notre Dame Cathedral not in shot):

Unfortunately, Paris was then the victim of a rampaging King Kong, and was reduced to rubble.

But we've run out of ideas. Anyone got any requests? We'll try and build anything we can...

Seraphim · 28 Sep 2005 at 18:48

Otacon said:
Hmm, what to do with 120 toilet rolls (how on earth did you obtain those man ).... Paper towel big ben?

We bought them!

Big Ben is on it's way!

Seraphim · 28 Sep 2005 at 18:54

The time, at the third bong, will be 7pm. Bong, Bong, Bong...

How's that for a turnaround time?

Seraphim · 28 Sep 2005 at 18:55

G-MAN2004 said:
Do what you did with your mates door but this time with the door open then run like mad through it!

YES.

Seraphim · 28 Sep 2005 at 19:05

He was so fast, my camera couldn't keep up - those bog rolls didn't stand a chance!

Seraphim · 28 Sep 2005 at 19:26

It was a tight fit (hurr), but I made it in the end. Was a bit hot, though...

HULK SMASH!

Seraphim · 28 Sep 2005 at 19:46

How does it stay up? No one knows...

Seraphim · 28 Sep 2005 at 20:03

Let me tell you a story. Are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin... There was once a noble and kind King, who built a splendid throne out of the finest toilet paper in the land:

The King sat on this mighty throne and was indeed regal, and pleasantly clean in the bottom area:

But alas, after consuming one too many Rustlers 99p burgers, the King grew fat and podgy, and the flimsy throne collapsed under the weight of his expanding belly. He was sad forevermore:

Seraphim · 28 Sep 2005 at 20:36

BREAKING NEWS: My flatmate has stolen one of the rolls and has gone to visit his parents - I'm going to try my best with the remaining 119 rolls, which (according to the back of the pack) would reach about 3.2km if rolled out!

The Mummy will have to wait for his return, but the sports car is one to try...

Seraphim · 28 Sep 2005 at 20:59

Wow, the car was pretty hard, but I'm happy with the results. From the look on his little ape face, so is monkeh:

converse_uprise said:
Just out of interest..... why the hell did you buy 120 rolls of toilet paper? :s lol

Well, it was on special offer, and who can resist 120 rolls of quilted cack-pads at a bargain price? Plus, I'll never have to worry when entering the porcelain palace - there'll always be a roll close at hand. I don't want a repeat of the events of 2000, they were dark days. :eek:

Seraphim · 28 Sep 2005 at 21:14

Belmit said:
Fill the fridge with bog roll..... do eeeet!

Hehe, now this one was fun:

Shame I couldn't get any beer to go in the door, otherwise it'd make the perfect curry night picture...

Seraphim · 28 Sep 2005 at 21:34

jamoor said:
Were they on special offer or something?
If so where as I need to restock!

Yep, something like £11 for 60 rolls at Costco - but you've got to be a member...

Anyway, here comes the maths bit. Bearing in mind each roll has approximately 192 sheets, given a generous allocation of 24 sheets per number 2, plus contingency for mis-aimed number 1s, nose-blowing and so on, we end up with a figure of 6.86 bathroom visits per roll. Given that my maths is awful, we'll say 7 for simplicity's sake.

So these 120 rolls will service 840 visits to the bog - in a flat of three males, who each visit the poohouse every day, these rolls should last us 280 days or something like that. So it really is a bargain.

Seraphim · 28 Sep 2005 at 21:37

Lucoire said:
i'm new, btw, hello *waves*

Bahaha, what a first impression you must have! We're not all obsessed with toilets and bodily functions here, it's just me.

Oh, and thanks to y'all for all your lovely praise - but I'm just an idiot with 120 toilet rolls and nothing to do!

Seraphim · 28 Sep 2005 at 22:11

dmpoole said:
Are you female?
I use a maximum of 6 sheets during a number two session and sometimes I can get away with 2 sheets.

Two sheets?!? Good God man, that's brave - what if you poke your finger through? :eek:

I figured it's probably 6 sheets per wipe, 4 wipes for the average motion (taking into accout the extremes such as tar-like ones and the 'phantoms'), which brings us to our total. Of course, each person is different though, and one man's generous paper allocation is another's stingy rations...

Seraphim · 30 Sep 2005 at 16:26

Lopéz said:
You look genuinely bemused there dude

I really was, for some reason that was the last thing I was expecting. I thought my throne would stand up to a bit more punishment, to be honest. Or maybe my arse is just too big...

Even though I've picked up a vicious cold, possibly even man-flu, I'll be having some toilet roll fun tonight... What a way to spend a Friday night, eh?

Seraphim · 30 Sep 2005 at 22:06

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHH

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINS

Seraphim · 30 Sep 2005 at 22:22

mac-is-gay said:
what a waste of perfectly good bog roll.

have ypu factored this waste in your toilet roll life calculation thingy?

Well, going by some of the posts in this thread, 6 sheets per wipe is more than adequate to accommodate a bit of tomfoolery like this... Plus, given they cost around 18p per roll, and I've just been paid, why not treat myself to some toilet roll?!