The all new OCUK joke thread for 2021

I suppose the funniest thing in this world today is being in the middle of people consumed with technology and the internet with all that entails and the older gen who have no notion of it and don't care, So you have both sides of the fence stuck in your head :p

Imagine the 60 year old co worker being told about pro nouns and stuff? Your dad, a mans man who digs and lays down roads...
Jack hammer going away, and did you hear the new superman is going to be a black man? :P
 
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I remember being in a gamestation back in the...not sure early noughties? and seeing a voodoo 2 for £400 and laughing at the price of it. You can say Inflation but I still say something isn't right with that or I still don't get it? something in the 90's costing £400 odds is the same as £1000 odds now?, I'm thinking about HiFi's watching Techmoan not Graphics cards.
 
I remember the time I went to A&E with a sex injury....not really but I hadn't had a shower and the nurses kept asking how I had hurt my knee after me telling them...too funny when looking back at it.
story goes... for a over a week at work the back of my knee had been getting sorer and sorer everyday, I was off on the Saturday and when I woke up I couldn't even stand on it or I would fall over, I woke up soaking in sweat...
I tried phone my mum for help but no answer, so got ataxi to the hospital myself, I got there and a bit smelly, all the nurses kept asking and smirking about how I did my knee in. I gave an explanation of maybe the bike as I cycle to work everyday, I felt as if I was being interrogated as I was asked the same thing about 20 times!
I left A&E in a velco support thing.
 
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic
garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped, and every once in
awhile, a £20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a Policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are £20
bills falling Out of that bag."
"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and
see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.."
"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. "Where did you get all that
money? You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to
the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and
pee
through a knot hole in the fence, right into my flower garden. It used
to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know.
Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?' So, now, on game days, I
stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge
clippers. Every time some guy sticks his pecker through my fence, I
surprise him, Grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me £20, or off
it comes.'
"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!
Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
"Well, you know", said the little old lady, "not everybody pays."
 
wooosh for me....

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Who's 2nd account is this?

Don't you just love the realism of programs like Coronation Street and Eastenders?
The place is full of murderers, junkies, rapists and paedophiles but nobody swears because that would be wrong.
 
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