*** The Definitive Nerdy Science Jokes Thread ***

[Burnsy2023]

So I want to compile a thread full of the best jokes for science geeks. We all know the obvious ones, but I'm after some of the ones that perhaps aren't so popular and need a bit of love too. You know the ones that you laugh at but usually don't admit to it. Such as:

Two satellite antennae get married, the ceremony was so-so but the reception was great!

Also pictorial ones like here: http://www.buzzfeed.com/babymantis/20-spectacularly-nerdy-science-jokes-1opu

Any more suggestions?

 

[Burnsy2023]

What does a bad liar and a Lyme disease research lab have in common They have a lot of nervous ticks

I wish I was helicase, so that I could unzip your genes!

 

[Burnsy2023]

What kind of fish is made up of two sodium atoms? 2Na

 

[Burnsy2023]

There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't

And those who weren't expecting a base 3 joke...

 

[Burnsy2023]

Vote rename thread to '***Official Virgins Forever Thread***'

Ironically, a hot friend of a friend is very much into geeky science jokes which is kinda why this thread exists.

 

[Burnsy2023]

http://heterodoxy.cc/meowdocs/pseudo/pseudosynth.pdf

That's hardcore.

It's also going to be hilarious when you're in interview when you've got nicked buying methamphet and your excuse is that you've got a cold...

 

[Burnsy2023]

Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Cuz you are CuTe rofl

 

[Burnsy2023]

What do you call a group of racist potassium atoms? The KKK.

 

[Burnsy2023]

Is that not what they were doing in Breaking Bad?

It was essentially the opposite.

 

[Burnsy2023]

Your charm quark is giving me quite the large hadron.

 

[Burnsy2023]

Several scholars were asked "What is 2+2?" The engineer whips out his calculator and answers "3.99" The physicist pulls out some technical references, models the problem on the computer and proudly announces "The answer is between 3.98 and 4.02" The statistician replied "I need more data points" The philosopher replies "What is the meaning of 2?" The psychologist replies "How does 2+2 make you feel?" The medical student replies "4" The others look at him and ask "How do you know?" He replies "I memorized it"

 

[Burnsy2023]

A Higg's Boson walks into a Catholic Church but the priest says, "Sorry, a service is about to begin, you'll have to leave". The Boson replies, "But you can't have mass without me".

This would be funny if it mentioned the Higgs field instead of the Higgs boson. A common error.