The Handshake...

Moses said:
Even if there's not necessarily stuff conveyed by a handshake, many people still form an impression based on it. Like loads of social interaction, if you sit there and think about it you might wonder why it holds the importance it does... but the reality is that people do care about handshakes, eye contact, introducing yourself confidently, your appearance, etc etc, and ignoring that or pretending it doesn't matter just puts you at a disadvantage.
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To be fair at least one person, the poster you responded to doesn't agree.
Some people seem to think the handshake has importance and some don't, that fact may put you at a disadvantage, depending on who's hand you shake and how you shake it...
 
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Moses said:
Obviously I'm not saying literally everyone holds that view - I thought that went without saying - but it's clearly the most common view in our society. Overwhelmingly so. It's not as though it's going to be anywhere near 50/50 so either view is completely valid... clearly handshakes do matter far more often than not.
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Well you say matter, but on this thread alone I've seen a range of opinions on in what way they matter. Like all communication it's tricky to please all people all of the time, not that I'd advocate ignoring that to some it has significance.
 
Moses said:
A negligible proportion of people in our society would be put off by a firm handshake. Many would feel neutral about it. For many it'd leave a positive impression. On the other hand, a limp or overly firm handshake would put off a significant proportion of people.

Therefore it'd be sensible to follow convention, imo. I'd even say it'd be foolish to ignore it.
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A large % of humanity are not worth bothering with, however. Because they're either stupid, or prejudiced, or inflexible know-it-alls, or...

Some of us can't be bothered to play the game. Even if playing the game is the way to get to the top. It's a silly game, and since everybody dies in roughly 70 years anyway, getting to the top is meaningless.
 
I find that a moderate grip is good - no need to cut the blood supply off...
Personally I don't read into handshakes, I don't think it offers a lot of info on someones personality
 
scotty365 said:
I find that a moderate grip is good - no need to cut the blood supply off...
Personally I don't read into handshakes, I don't think it offers a lot of info on someones personality
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Agreed. A weak and moist handshake with no grip makes a bad impression. An iron one where the "alpha" male has tried to break every bone in my hand I equally don't rate them as a person and have negative views towards them before the meeting even starts.
 
Greebo said:
Agreed. A weak and moist handshake with no grip makes a bad impression. An iron one where the "alpha" male has tried to break every bone in my hand I equally don't rate them as a person and have negative views towards them before the meeting even starts.
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So now people with sweaty hands are screwed too, eh?

I think I'll just refuse to shake hands full stop. Unless you get the grip and pressure correct to the nearest lb, and have talced your palms beforehand, you're just going to upset and offend wherever you go, it would seem :p
 
The only people I judge negatively from a handshake are those who squeeze. A firm handshake should be natural, if you make a conscious effort to give a firm handshake by squeezing you've achieved the opposite of what you set out to do. You've made yourself look weak and insecure.
 
Moses said:
A negligible proportion of people in our society would be put off by a firm handshake. Many would feel neutral about it. For many it'd leave a positive impression. On the other hand, a limp or overly firm handshake would put off a significant proportion of people.

Therefore it'd be sensible to follow convention, imo. I'd even say it'd be foolish to ignore it.
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Interesting insight but I'm unsure what evidence it is based on. Here the conversation seems divided.
 
Moses said:
Even if there's not necessarily stuff conveyed by a handshake, many people still form an impression based on it. Like loads of social interaction, if you sit there and think about it you might wonder why it holds the importance it does... but the reality is that people do care about handshakes, eye contact, introducing yourself confidently, your appearance, etc etc, and ignoring that or pretending it doesn't matter just puts you at a disadvantage.
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So we should all conform even if it's completely fake? What a limited world you exist in.
 
ebilcake said:
So we should all conform even if it's completely fake? What a limited world you exist in.
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Society in general really tries to stamp out non-conformity.

But then you might expect this - conformity of the masses benefits the ruling classes.

The trait of conformity is especially prized in the military - the enforcement arm of the ruling classes.

We're all conditioned to obey our masters. Some of us are aware of that and conform anyway, some are aware and it bugs the living hell out of them, some are blissfully unaware/don't care.

I try not to conform out of sheer bloody mindedness :p
 
I don't like weak handshakes, but then also I hate those idiots who think trying to crush your hand or turn your palm over means anything either.

Grasp hand firmly, move hand up down, or down up ONCE and that's it.

For a good friend, or someone you have not seen in a while using your other hand to covet the hand they are using (briefly) is acceptable in my opinion.
 
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