"The talk" Please help me out here

Zip · 26 Dec 2006 at 08:24

Well my girlfriends Brother has reached the age where hes learning about certain things from his friends and undergoing changes

Apparently he says some things that arnt appropriate for the times he says them

Now i been asked if i can give him "The Talk" :eek:

And i grew up with no dad and basically learnt every thing my self and i never had the talk

So can someone help me out here of what to say to him and how to say it to him

ElRazur · 26 Dec 2006 at 08:26

Just be open and upfront but be gentle i guess. Also try sugar-coating it so it goes down well.

Deadly Ferret · 26 Dec 2006 at 08:27

Did you see Remains of the Day yesterday afternoon? The butler gave a cracking example of how to handle it!

ElRazur · 26 Dec 2006 at 08:28

You can also use the catholic approach. Tell him how bad sex is and show him photos of aborted babies, show him images of syphllis and gonnoreah...

Insanity · 26 Dec 2006 at 08:50

Just give him a porno, a tube of hand cream and send him on his way.

^TANK^ · 26 Dec 2006 at 08:51

Give the little **** a mayfair and a sock he will work it out

Kell_ee001 · 26 Dec 2006 at 09:05

Be honest with him and keep things simple - don't try and over complicate it with things he doesn't need to know.

Phalanx · 26 Dec 2006 at 09:20

Insanity said:
Just give him a porno, a tube of hand cream and send him on his way.

i actually agree, except maybe the second and third part.

Take him down the local strip joint, if you notice him eyeing up the men at the counter, take him to the opposite place

Vonhelmet · 26 Dec 2006 at 09:55

Start with the quote in your sig and work from there.

Lostkat · 26 Dec 2006 at 10:00

Tell his mother/father to do it. It's their job, not yours!

Failing that, do what Kell_ee001 said. The last thing you want is to give him too much info and for it to backfire with him getting even worse than he is now.

Dark_Injection · 26 Dec 2006 at 10:21

Tell him if he has sex/talks about sex/thinks about sex that he will die a horrible death 10 mins later, that should shut him up long enough for his mother or sis to bottle up the nerve to do it themselves !

Tru · 26 Dec 2006 at 10:30

ElRazur said:
Just be open and upfront but be gentle i guess. Also try sugar-coating it so it goes down well.

Either this has wooshed everyone or I've got a sick, sick mind.

SexyGreyFox · 26 Dec 2006 at 10:35

As soon as my girls started being interested in boys my 'talk' would consist of - "See that between your legs? - boys will say and do anything to get there so do your very best to not let them because they are all liars. When the time is right you will know when you want to let them and when that time comes ask me or your mother and we will get protection for you" etc etc.

ElRazur · 26 Dec 2006 at 10:37

Tru said:
I've got a sick, sick mind.

Toekiller · 26 Dec 2006 at 10:52

Just plonk him on the internet with google, safesearch off and get him to search for boobies.

For example http://montereybay.com/creagrus/boobies.html

Roberta · 26 Dec 2006 at 11:01

If he's anything like my eldest he'll wait until you've finished and then say 'Yeah. We did all that at school 2 years ago.'

Kell_ee001 · 26 Dec 2006 at 11:14

Tru said:
Either this has wooshed everyone or I've got a sick, sick mind.

Nah, we just ignored it tbh - too obvious a set up.

Zip · 26 Dec 2006 at 11:16

No im not going to sit him down and get him too look at porn

Its not so much "the talk" of what happens, but the talk so he doesnt get embarrist when boobs come on TV and so hes more comfortable with him self and also so he knows when and when not to talk about sex things and says words that should be said at certian times

Longbow · 26 Dec 2006 at 12:27

Isn't that what sex education is for?

Andelusion · 26 Dec 2006 at 12:28

Sit him down at the computer on google, turn safe-search off and give him a list of 'keywords'. Return back in a couple of hours and you should be alright