This was posted on our Guild's forum, but I can't link to it because it's in the members area. Anyway, it gave me a good laugh, so I thought I'd share it with you all 
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[Thrall] has come online.
[Thrall] says: What kind of queue was that?
Travel West to Kalimdor!
It was not a queue, but a vision. Follow me, and I will reveal what your future holds.
Quest Objectives:
Follow The Prophet in a series of unnecessary tutorial instructions.
Thrall accepted quest: Travel West to Kalimdor!
[Thrall] says: ok
And so, Thrall followed the Prophet in a series of unnecessary tutorial instructions. He even found a few grunts who put him on assist. They managed to accomplish the difficult task of slaying an ogre, but they got ZERGED by the murlocs. Thrall, being the last survivor, realized that if he died, he would fail the quest. So, he ran and finished the last unnecessary tutorial instruction, which lead him to The Prophet and a view overlooking a stormy sea.
[Prophet] says: Now you must leave.
[Thrall] says: You’re just trying to get me in a Contested Zone so you can gank me! Hey, how are you speaking to me cross-faction, anyway?! I’M REPORTING YOU, NOOB HUMAN!
Prophet chuckles at Thrall.
[Prophet] says: I am no longer a human. I rerolled as something else.
[Thrall] says: o… how do you turn into a raven, though?
[Prophet] says: It’s a bug in the latest patch. You’ve sensed many new sploitz coming too, haven’t you?
[Thrall] says: Yes. omg yesterday i was walking through arathi wen a level ?? pally ganked me and im like omg… ok so anyway i rez and i /wave and he ganks me again so OMG AND LIKE
[Prophet] says: STFU
[Thrall] says: sorry
[Prophet] says: Sorry isn’t good enough. Now you must lead your people west, to the unplayed zone of Kalimdor.
[Thrall] says: ok. You run me through Wetlands, kk?
[Prophet] says: Huh?
And so, Thrall and his band of orcs constructed their outpost.
[Thrall] says: Goddammit, Grom. Where the hell are you?
[Grom] has come online.
[Thrall] says: w00t!
To [Grom]: hi
Grom is AFK: Away From Keyboard
To [Grom]:
Grom is AFK: Away From Keyboard
To [Grom]: o
Grom is AFK: Away From Keyboard
To [Grom]: yuor not kidding r u?
Grom is AFK: Away From Keyboard
[Grom] says: Ok, let’s go out and explore for Grom for no apparent reason.
And so, Grom and his fellow guild members explored the zone when they came across flagged guildies of (The Alliance).
[Arargagarorn] says: invite
[Fooooootman] says: invite u loozers
Though clearly outnumbered, the Alliance footmen attacked the Horde. This same mistake will be repeated by The Alliance, especially in AB, for generations to come. The Horde COMPLETELY DESTROYS the footmen.
Arargagarorn spits on Thrall.
Thrall rolls on the floor laughing at Arargagarorn.
Thrall tells Arargagarorn, NO.
So (The Horde) guildies found Thrall, who was AFK getting a pizza.
Grom has joined the raid group.
[Raid][Grom]: Hey Thrall, what’s with all the newbzsz?!
Sharing quest with Grom…
Grom accepted: Travel West to Kalimdor!
The Prophet, with his speedhax, travels to Lordaeron in a cinematic sequence showing off zones that we will never get to see in WoW. He lands in Lordaeron during a heated argument. Despite the fact that he lands right in the middle of the room with light flooding onto him, King Teranas, guild master of (The Alliance), was the only person who saw this.
[Terenas] says: I will not institute quarantine without screenshots, Ambassador! The people of Lordaeron have suffered enough by doing the quests in their starter zones!
Raven Form fades from Prophet.
[Prophet] says: Yet gankbait they remain, good King.
[Terenas] yells: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?! WHO ARE YOU?!
[Prophet] says: Humanity is in peril! The tides of darkness have come again! The whole world stands at the brink of war! The only hope for your people is to travel west, to the forgotten zone of Kalimdor!
[Ambassador] yells: Travel west?! u n00b!! Their instances are *** suxx0rz
Teranas declines quest: Travel West to Kalimdor!
[Terenas] yells: Hold, Ambassador!
[Terenas] says: I do not know who you are or what you believe, but this is not the time for rambling nublets! It will be WE who decide what is best for our people, not you! Now, begone!
[Prophet] says: I have failed this quest once before, and I will not do so again. If you will not click Accept, I will find another who will.
The Prophet turns around into the open sunlight from which he entered.
Prophet gains Raven Form.
[Teranas] yells: HAX!
[1. General][Medivh]: Never group with Teranas hes a noob
[1. General][Medivh]: The warning has been given. Your fate is now your own.
And so, (The Blackrock Clan) was ganking lowbies in Strahnbrad and killing Civilians, resulting in many, many DKs. This could be due to the fact that they are trying to grief the Alliance, or it could just be a bunch of really, really dumb players.
[Arthas] says: blessing of wiz plz
[Uther] says: Ah, Arthas. Good to see you, lad!
Arthas gains Blessing of Wisdom.
[Arthas] says: Can the formalities, Uther. I’m not king yet. It’s good to see you again.
[Uther] says: Ok, that was completely rude and has taken unnecessary to a whole new level. I don’t know what you were trying to achieve by being so randomly rude and I won’t do the smart thing like smack you upside the head or kill you now despite the fact that you are already turning towards (The Dark Side), but I will instead chuckle at your comment and continue our discussion like it was never destroyed by your hideous comment.
[Arthas] says: Huh?
[3. LocalDefense] Strahnbrad is under attack!
[Uther] says: Nevermind. Listen. Can you look after the defense of Strahnbrad? I won’t support the smart idea like going with you to make this raid all the easier, but I will instead run around in circles to make it look like I’m actually doing something.
[Arthas] says: k
Arthas went on a 5-man group to defend Strahnbrad. He kills all the orcs and SAVES EVERYONE.
Arthas has left the group.
Meanwhile, Blademaster attacks Uther. Uther bubbleheals at the last moment and kills Blademaster, who then does a spirit rez to avoid corpse camping.
[Uther] yells: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Arthas comes to Uther and listens to his engaging PvP story. Arthas, despite being a low-level noob who has accomplished absolutely nothing, decides to solo Blademaster. He found Blademaster corpse camping lowbies, and attacked him when his health was low. Blademaster DIES.
[Arthas] yells:[Common]Y O U LO SE
[Uther] says: Arthas, you must never yell random BS cross-faction, or you shall become as vile as the orcs.
Arthas gasps.
[Arthas] says: Of course not! I will never become as vile as the orcs! Instead, I will become 100x MORE vile. I’ll even become King of the Scourge and completely destroy Lordaeron, making these quests completely useless!
Uther has come offline.
[Uther] has come online.
[Uther] says: Sorry, I got d/c’ed. Did you say something?
[Arthas] says: Nope.
[Uther] says: Good.
Meanwhile, at DALARAN…
[Prophet] says: You must be smarter than the king! Accept this quest! In The Last Guardian you Dalaranian wizards would be BLESSED by my presence!
[Antondias] says: Nope.
[Prophet] says: Then I’ve wasted my time here.
The Prophet gains Raven Form.
[Antondias] yells: HAX!
Jaina appears from the shadows.
[Jaina] says: I’m sorry for eavesdropping, master, but—
[Antondias] says: HOLY @#$!! Jesus. Didn’t they nerf invisibility in beta? I don’t recall. Since you already used one nerfed spell, I might as well teach you how to summon a Water Elemental, a spell that wasn’t even in beta but should be effect of the “Conjure Water” spell. Anyway, let’s continue to make this look like a serious conversation and hope that the players don’t notice the Sorceress polymorphing the other Sorceress in the background.
[Jaina] says: Huh?
[Sorceress] says: Baaaa.
[Jaina] says: Oh. Well, I sensed enormous power in the Prophet. Maybe we should have accepted the quest?
[Antondias] says: Maybe, Jaina. Maybe. But it’s too late for that now.
Jaina frowns.
[Antondias] says: But it’s not too late to make an old man happy.
[Jaina] says: …
Jaina gains Invisibility.
To [Jaina]: Hey, I was just JAYKAY!
Jaina is ignoring you.
Jaina got invited to Arthas’s group for the “Plague?” quest. On the way, she aggroed two ogres. She didn’t do the smart thing and Frost Nova it, but she instead had her Water Elemental and her attack one. When one ogre died, the other one ran away. Despite this realistic event, these sort of things don’t happen at all in WoW.
[Fotoman] says: We must help her!
[Arthas] says: Huh?
[Jaina] says: Jesus, Arthas, you’re so incredibly dumb.
[Arthas] says: a/s/l
[Jaina] says: Huh?
[Arthas] says: Can the formalities, Jaina. I’m not king yet. It’s good to see you again.
[Jaina] says: O…k… cheesy pick up lines. Not only was that a pathetic attempt, but it was also incredibly rude!
[Arthas] says: Incredibly what?
[Jaina] says: Nevermind. Let’s move on.
They find Kelthuzad, leader of the (Cult of the Darned). For some reason, certain words were censored from guild names.
[Arthas] says:what a dumb guild name
[Kelthuzad] says: RUN BEFORE THEY GANK YOU!!!
Arthas attacks Kelthuzad.
[Arthas] says: Wait, why are you poisoning the grain?
[Kelthuzad] says: So people will bother mages for food even more.
[Arthas] says: Oh.
Kelthuzad DIES. Not because paladins may seem overpowered, but because what kind of warlock in their right mind wouldn’t have their demon summoned, or spam DoTs, or wear non-greens/blues/epix?
[Kelthuzad] says: OMG I’m melting… I’m melting…! What a world… what a world…!
[Fotoman] says: Huh?
[Arthas] says: Huh?
Jaina agrees with Fotoman.
The Fellowship of the Alliance (*shifty glance*) runs to Hearthglen. There are a bunch of guys carrying boomsticks running back and forth shooting at ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
[Fotoman] says: Ack! I’m shot!!
Despite the fact that they are in lines, massacring eachother, nobody really SEEMS TO NOTICE. Because of this, it isn’t really a surprise that nobody noticed that all of the villagers turned green, either. Or noticed that all the grain was purple. Or that it was being swarmed by plague flies.
[Arthas] says: Whatever.
Arthas, the only person in Hearthglen that isn’t BLIND, rushes over to the purple grain being swarmed by PLAGUE FLIES.
[Arthas] says: Did you feed this to the peeps?
[Footman] says: Yep.
[Arthas] says: U #*!@ING NOOB!!!
A couple of GREEN VILLAGERS runs over to the grain and transform into SEXY BEASTS.
[Sorceress] says: Hey, you can build some of me now!
[Arthas] says: Can the formalities, Sorceress. I’m not king yet. It’s good to see you again.
[Sorceress] says: You don’t get out much, do you?
[Jaina] says: I think I’ll go teleport for no apparent reason.
Arthas and his KREW survive for THIRTY MINUTES. Uther runs in and steals the spotlight.
[Arthas] says: Uther?! What are you doing? To actually act well and make me look wooden and awful?!
[Uther] says: Yes.
[Arthas] says: Oh. Well, I’m going after Mal’ganis. See ya.
[Uther] says: Loser.
Later, the Prince meets the Prophet.
Arthas declines quest: Travel West to Kalimdor!
Prophet gains Raven Form.
[Arthas] yells: HAX!
Invisibility fades from Jaina.
[Jaina] says: He’s level 60, maybe he can help us.
[Arthas] says: huh. i just never thought to ask.
[Jaina] says: Oh well.
[4. LookingForGroup][Jaina]: LFM for Live Strat PST
The heroes arrive at Stratholme…
[Arthas] says: Well, it looks like everyone ate the purple grain and turned green, so we have to kill them all.
[Uther] says: No.
[Arthas] says: Uther, as your future king, I command you to kill all the green uglies!
[Uther] yells: You are not my king yet, boy! Nor would I obey that command if you were!
Uther left the raid group.
[Uther] says: omg wtf why did u kick me out
[Arthas] says: lol!
Uther and a bunch of GUYS ON MOUNTS realize that they don’t want to run Strat with a bunch of noobs, so they run off. Jaina follows.
[Arthas] says: Jaina?
[Jaina] says: All I ever wanted was to study.
(The Alliance) raids Live Strat. They kill green townies that ate purple grain which was infested with plague flies, and our hero slays Mal’ganis, all the while foaming at the mouth. Afterwards, at the burning remains of Stratholme, Jaina is confronted by the Prophet. Meanwhile, Arthas is bragging on the forums about the server first.
Jaina declines quest: Travel West to Kalimdor!
[Jaina] says: Sheesh. Don’t you get the message? Nobody wants to do this quest!
[Prophet] says: You’d think that people would listen to me more if I revealed my true identity.
Prophet gains Raven Form.
[Jaina] yells: HAX!
NOTHING HAPPENS for a while because Northrend was never added to WoW. Eventually, Arthas returns to Lordaeron with TWO CREEPY DUDES behind him. Arthas catches a petal and rubs his fingers on it. The petal turns GREEN.
[Arthas] says: I’m not peeing for a while.
Arthas and his two creepy guards walk inside.
[Teranas] says: Ah, my son.
[Arthas] says: You no longer have to sacrifice for your people. You no longer have to bear the weight of your crown. I have taken care of everything.
[Teranas] says: …k
Arthas pulls out his sword and walks up to his father. The TWO CREEPY DUDES deal with the ONLY TWO GUARDS. Despite being the king of all the Eastern Kingdoms, Teranas doesn’t have any guards close by to him.
[Teranas] says: Arthas! What are you DOING, my son?
[Arthas] says: pwning you, noob
Arthas has defeated Teranas in a duel.
Teranas’s bloody crown rolls around on the floor, and leaves a bloody stain on the floor that nobody thought to clean up for four years.
Arthas performs Cannibalize on Teranas.
Our hero finally gets enough gold to buy his mount after running Lordaeron several times over, and rides around with no particular goal. He eventually meets Tichondrius, rescues the (Hidden Acolytes), and then shows up to Andorhal with some meat wagons.
[Arthas] says: Those things are seriously gross.
Arthas and the MEAT WAGONS run around and eventually Arthas comes upon Gavinrad, a level 25 Paladin.
[Arthas] says: Time to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezszszszzzszzssz!
[Gavinrad] says:[Common]bur
Arthas attacks Gavinrad. Gavinrad attacks Arthas. Gavinrad tries to bubblehearth, but has forgotten completely about the Forbearance nerf. He DIES.
[Arthas] says: Patch 1.9 sure saved a lot of lost hair.
They gank a bunch of Paladins and CC them, /spitting and /dancing on their corpses. After they got bored, they decided to run to Quel’thalas.
[Sylvanas] says:[Common] Ajre aoei fanek burin dur alake.
[Arthas] says: Huh?
Sylvanas sighs at Arthas
Sylvanas points over yonder.
Sylvanas tells Arthas, NO.
Arthas gives Sylvanas a confused look.
[Sylvanas] says:[Common] Oeri nemba iur leka.
[Arthas] says: I can’t understand anything you’re saying!!
Sylvanas runs away. The Scourge destroys the High Elf Base (Blue).
[Arthas] says: That’s a weird name for a base.
They burst through the gate. This causes one of the High Elven workers to EXPLODE, for some reason. The Scourge wipes out an entire base in seconds, and Sylvanas runs across the bridge.
Sylvanas tells everyone to retreat!
Arthas laughs at Sylvanas.
Sylvanas gives Arthas a rude gesture.
Sylvanas laughs at Arthas.
Sylvanas casts a spell, which destroys the bridge. She RUNS.
[Arthas] says: Ok… let’s just walk across the lake.
[Acolyteta] says: Can’t, it’s full of murlocs.
[Arthas] says: Damn that woman.
(The Scourge)’s guildies once again run around randomly, but this time teleporting was frequent to make things all the more confusing. They get some pretty crystals, and then they rally at the outskirts of Silvermoon.
[Sylvanas] says:[Common] Aeshu leker itun forma!
[Arthas] says: I wonder if Night Elves and Blood Elves will be able to talk to eachother in Burning Crusade. I bet that would be helpful.
Arthas hits Sylvanas with his horse. Sylvanas DIES. After that, Arthas decides to be a MAJOR PAIN IN THE ASS and ressurects Sylvanas as a banshee.
[Sylvanas] whispers: omg u loser why wre u ganking us all!
To [Sylvanas]: I just rerolled you.
[Sylvanas] says: Oh. Well, now that I look and sound exactly like a regular Banshee unit, how come I look like an undead elf later?
[Arthas] says: I’ll tell you later.
[Sylvanas] says: I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!!! Call me.
They destroy the Sunwell Guardians and ressurect Kelthuzad as a lich.
[Arthas] says: MEOW!
[Kelthuzad] says: Level 60 Ice Mage LFG.
[1. General][Kelthuzad]: LF Warlock to summon a friend will pay 2c
They raid another base, and one of the warlocks helps Kelthuzad summon one of his friends.
[Kelthuzad] says: Ok click on the portal gogogo
[Arthas] says: I know duh
[Acolick] says: it didnt work
[Arthas] says: Oops I moved
[Kelthuzad] says: U #*!&IN NOOB!!!
[Arthas] says: hey SORRY sheesh
They summon Archimonde.
[Archimonde] says: Tremble mortals, and despair. Doom has come to this world!
[Arthas] says: I don’t think anyone can hear you.
[Archimonde] says: Oh. Right.
[3. LocalDefense][High Warlord Archimonde]: Tremble mortals, and despair. Doom has come to this world!
[3. LocalDefense][Stone Guard Sluht]: where
They run to Dalaran.
[Arthas] says: theres a gay circle blocking the way off
[Archimonde] says: Let this mark symbolize the first blow against the mortal world.
Archimonde completely WRECKS the place.
[Arthas] says: Is it just me, or did Strahnbrad shrink by like 50 sizes from WC3 to WoW?
[Archimonde] says: Shhhhhh.
(The Burning Legion) continues doing whatever it is they do. Meanwhile, (The Horde) has landed on the shores of Kalimdor.
[Thrall] says: Ugh… what happened lasht night? …hic!
Thrall looks completely smashed.
[Mrheadhntr] says: smashT!
Thrall seems to be sobering up.
[Thrall] says: Who would have known that sailing right through the Maelstrom would have resulted in crashed ships? Certainly not I.
You have joined a raid group.
[Raid][Thrall]: ok lets go find the other noobs cuz their lost
(The Horde)’s raid runs around Kalimdor like idiots, finding only 2-5 survivors of REGULAR SIZED SHIPS per ship. On the way, they find a bunch of centaur.
[1. General][Thrall]: which ones better magram or gelkis????????
[1. General][Urmomnoob]: gelkis duh
They continue travelling after meeting a flying BARE NAKED LADY, and they meet Cairne and his MUTANT ARMY OF MAURADING BOVINES.
[Carine] says: m000000
[Thrall] says:
[Carine] says: Level 15 warrior LFG.
They are attacked by centaur. The centaur DIE.
[Carine] says: Well, my army of cows will migrate to Mulgore. But I think that the centaur will follow us because I am paranoid-delusional.
[Thrall] says: Then I am inclined to have my entire guild to help you… for some reason.
[Carine] says: Happy cows come from Mulgore.
--continued below--
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[Thrall] has come online.
[Thrall] says: What kind of queue was that?
Travel West to Kalimdor!
It was not a queue, but a vision. Follow me, and I will reveal what your future holds.
Quest Objectives:
Follow The Prophet in a series of unnecessary tutorial instructions.
Thrall accepted quest: Travel West to Kalimdor!
[Thrall] says: ok
And so, Thrall followed the Prophet in a series of unnecessary tutorial instructions. He even found a few grunts who put him on assist. They managed to accomplish the difficult task of slaying an ogre, but they got ZERGED by the murlocs. Thrall, being the last survivor, realized that if he died, he would fail the quest. So, he ran and finished the last unnecessary tutorial instruction, which lead him to The Prophet and a view overlooking a stormy sea.
[Prophet] says: Now you must leave.
[Thrall] says: You’re just trying to get me in a Contested Zone so you can gank me! Hey, how are you speaking to me cross-faction, anyway?! I’M REPORTING YOU, NOOB HUMAN!
Prophet chuckles at Thrall.
[Prophet] says: I am no longer a human. I rerolled as something else.
[Thrall] says: o… how do you turn into a raven, though?
[Prophet] says: It’s a bug in the latest patch. You’ve sensed many new sploitz coming too, haven’t you?
[Thrall] says: Yes. omg yesterday i was walking through arathi wen a level ?? pally ganked me and im like omg… ok so anyway i rez and i /wave and he ganks me again so OMG AND LIKE
[Prophet] says: STFU
[Thrall] says: sorry
[Prophet] says: Sorry isn’t good enough. Now you must lead your people west, to the unplayed zone of Kalimdor.
[Thrall] says: ok. You run me through Wetlands, kk?
[Prophet] says: Huh?
And so, Thrall and his band of orcs constructed their outpost.
[Thrall] says: Goddammit, Grom. Where the hell are you?
[Grom] has come online.
[Thrall] says: w00t!
To [Grom]: hi
Grom is AFK: Away From Keyboard
To [Grom]:
Grom is AFK: Away From Keyboard
To [Grom]: o
Grom is AFK: Away From Keyboard
To [Grom]: yuor not kidding r u?
Grom is AFK: Away From Keyboard
[Grom] says: Ok, let’s go out and explore for Grom for no apparent reason.
And so, Grom and his fellow guild members explored the zone when they came across flagged guildies of (The Alliance).
[Arargagarorn] says: invite
[Fooooootman] says: invite u loozers
Though clearly outnumbered, the Alliance footmen attacked the Horde. This same mistake will be repeated by The Alliance, especially in AB, for generations to come. The Horde COMPLETELY DESTROYS the footmen.
Arargagarorn spits on Thrall.
Thrall rolls on the floor laughing at Arargagarorn.
Thrall tells Arargagarorn, NO.
So (The Horde) guildies found Thrall, who was AFK getting a pizza.
Grom has joined the raid group.
[Raid][Grom]: Hey Thrall, what’s with all the newbzsz?!
Sharing quest with Grom…
Grom accepted: Travel West to Kalimdor!
The Prophet, with his speedhax, travels to Lordaeron in a cinematic sequence showing off zones that we will never get to see in WoW. He lands in Lordaeron during a heated argument. Despite the fact that he lands right in the middle of the room with light flooding onto him, King Teranas, guild master of (The Alliance), was the only person who saw this.
[Terenas] says: I will not institute quarantine without screenshots, Ambassador! The people of Lordaeron have suffered enough by doing the quests in their starter zones!
Raven Form fades from Prophet.
[Prophet] says: Yet gankbait they remain, good King.
[Terenas] yells: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?! WHO ARE YOU?!
[Prophet] says: Humanity is in peril! The tides of darkness have come again! The whole world stands at the brink of war! The only hope for your people is to travel west, to the forgotten zone of Kalimdor!
[Ambassador] yells: Travel west?! u n00b!! Their instances are *** suxx0rz
Teranas declines quest: Travel West to Kalimdor!
[Terenas] yells: Hold, Ambassador!
[Terenas] says: I do not know who you are or what you believe, but this is not the time for rambling nublets! It will be WE who decide what is best for our people, not you! Now, begone!
[Prophet] says: I have failed this quest once before, and I will not do so again. If you will not click Accept, I will find another who will.
The Prophet turns around into the open sunlight from which he entered.
Prophet gains Raven Form.
[Teranas] yells: HAX!
[1. General][Medivh]: Never group with Teranas hes a noob
[1. General][Medivh]: The warning has been given. Your fate is now your own.
And so, (The Blackrock Clan) was ganking lowbies in Strahnbrad and killing Civilians, resulting in many, many DKs. This could be due to the fact that they are trying to grief the Alliance, or it could just be a bunch of really, really dumb players.
[Arthas] says: blessing of wiz plz
[Uther] says: Ah, Arthas. Good to see you, lad!
Arthas gains Blessing of Wisdom.
[Arthas] says: Can the formalities, Uther. I’m not king yet. It’s good to see you again.
[Uther] says: Ok, that was completely rude and has taken unnecessary to a whole new level. I don’t know what you were trying to achieve by being so randomly rude and I won’t do the smart thing like smack you upside the head or kill you now despite the fact that you are already turning towards (The Dark Side), but I will instead chuckle at your comment and continue our discussion like it was never destroyed by your hideous comment.
[Arthas] says: Huh?
[3. LocalDefense] Strahnbrad is under attack!
[Uther] says: Nevermind. Listen. Can you look after the defense of Strahnbrad? I won’t support the smart idea like going with you to make this raid all the easier, but I will instead run around in circles to make it look like I’m actually doing something.
[Arthas] says: k
Arthas went on a 5-man group to defend Strahnbrad. He kills all the orcs and SAVES EVERYONE.
Arthas has left the group.
Meanwhile, Blademaster attacks Uther. Uther bubbleheals at the last moment and kills Blademaster, who then does a spirit rez to avoid corpse camping.
[Uther] yells: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Arthas comes to Uther and listens to his engaging PvP story. Arthas, despite being a low-level noob who has accomplished absolutely nothing, decides to solo Blademaster. He found Blademaster corpse camping lowbies, and attacked him when his health was low. Blademaster DIES.
[Arthas] yells:[Common]Y O U LO SE
[Uther] says: Arthas, you must never yell random BS cross-faction, or you shall become as vile as the orcs.
Arthas gasps.
[Arthas] says: Of course not! I will never become as vile as the orcs! Instead, I will become 100x MORE vile. I’ll even become King of the Scourge and completely destroy Lordaeron, making these quests completely useless!
Uther has come offline.
[Uther] has come online.
[Uther] says: Sorry, I got d/c’ed. Did you say something?
[Arthas] says: Nope.
[Uther] says: Good.
Meanwhile, at DALARAN…
[Prophet] says: You must be smarter than the king! Accept this quest! In The Last Guardian you Dalaranian wizards would be BLESSED by my presence!
[Antondias] says: Nope.
[Prophet] says: Then I’ve wasted my time here.
The Prophet gains Raven Form.
[Antondias] yells: HAX!
Jaina appears from the shadows.
[Jaina] says: I’m sorry for eavesdropping, master, but—
[Antondias] says: HOLY @#$!! Jesus. Didn’t they nerf invisibility in beta? I don’t recall. Since you already used one nerfed spell, I might as well teach you how to summon a Water Elemental, a spell that wasn’t even in beta but should be effect of the “Conjure Water” spell. Anyway, let’s continue to make this look like a serious conversation and hope that the players don’t notice the Sorceress polymorphing the other Sorceress in the background.
[Jaina] says: Huh?
[Sorceress] says: Baaaa.
[Jaina] says: Oh. Well, I sensed enormous power in the Prophet. Maybe we should have accepted the quest?
[Antondias] says: Maybe, Jaina. Maybe. But it’s too late for that now.
Jaina frowns.
[Antondias] says: But it’s not too late to make an old man happy.
[Jaina] says: …
Jaina gains Invisibility.
To [Jaina]: Hey, I was just JAYKAY!
Jaina is ignoring you.
Jaina got invited to Arthas’s group for the “Plague?” quest. On the way, she aggroed two ogres. She didn’t do the smart thing and Frost Nova it, but she instead had her Water Elemental and her attack one. When one ogre died, the other one ran away. Despite this realistic event, these sort of things don’t happen at all in WoW.
[Fotoman] says: We must help her!
[Arthas] says: Huh?
[Jaina] says: Jesus, Arthas, you’re so incredibly dumb.
[Arthas] says: a/s/l
[Jaina] says: Huh?
[Arthas] says: Can the formalities, Jaina. I’m not king yet. It’s good to see you again.
[Jaina] says: O…k… cheesy pick up lines. Not only was that a pathetic attempt, but it was also incredibly rude!
[Arthas] says: Incredibly what?
[Jaina] says: Nevermind. Let’s move on.
They find Kelthuzad, leader of the (Cult of the Darned). For some reason, certain words were censored from guild names.
[Arthas] says:what a dumb guild name
[Kelthuzad] says: RUN BEFORE THEY GANK YOU!!!
Arthas attacks Kelthuzad.
[Arthas] says: Wait, why are you poisoning the grain?
[Kelthuzad] says: So people will bother mages for food even more.
[Arthas] says: Oh.
Kelthuzad DIES. Not because paladins may seem overpowered, but because what kind of warlock in their right mind wouldn’t have their demon summoned, or spam DoTs, or wear non-greens/blues/epix?
[Kelthuzad] says: OMG I’m melting… I’m melting…! What a world… what a world…!
[Fotoman] says: Huh?
[Arthas] says: Huh?
Jaina agrees with Fotoman.
The Fellowship of the Alliance (*shifty glance*) runs to Hearthglen. There are a bunch of guys carrying boomsticks running back and forth shooting at ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
[Fotoman] says: Ack! I’m shot!!
Despite the fact that they are in lines, massacring eachother, nobody really SEEMS TO NOTICE. Because of this, it isn’t really a surprise that nobody noticed that all of the villagers turned green, either. Or noticed that all the grain was purple. Or that it was being swarmed by plague flies.
[Arthas] says: Whatever.
Arthas, the only person in Hearthglen that isn’t BLIND, rushes over to the purple grain being swarmed by PLAGUE FLIES.
[Arthas] says: Did you feed this to the peeps?
[Footman] says: Yep.
[Arthas] says: U #*!@ING NOOB!!!
A couple of GREEN VILLAGERS runs over to the grain and transform into SEXY BEASTS.
[Sorceress] says: Hey, you can build some of me now!
[Arthas] says: Can the formalities, Sorceress. I’m not king yet. It’s good to see you again.
[Sorceress] says: You don’t get out much, do you?
[Jaina] says: I think I’ll go teleport for no apparent reason.
Arthas and his KREW survive for THIRTY MINUTES. Uther runs in and steals the spotlight.
[Arthas] says: Uther?! What are you doing? To actually act well and make me look wooden and awful?!
[Uther] says: Yes.
[Arthas] says: Oh. Well, I’m going after Mal’ganis. See ya.
[Uther] says: Loser.
Later, the Prince meets the Prophet.
Arthas declines quest: Travel West to Kalimdor!
Prophet gains Raven Form.
[Arthas] yells: HAX!
Invisibility fades from Jaina.
[Jaina] says: He’s level 60, maybe he can help us.
[Arthas] says: huh. i just never thought to ask.
[Jaina] says: Oh well.
[4. LookingForGroup][Jaina]: LFM for Live Strat PST
The heroes arrive at Stratholme…
[Arthas] says: Well, it looks like everyone ate the purple grain and turned green, so we have to kill them all.
[Uther] says: No.
[Arthas] says: Uther, as your future king, I command you to kill all the green uglies!
[Uther] yells: You are not my king yet, boy! Nor would I obey that command if you were!
Uther left the raid group.
[Uther] says: omg wtf why did u kick me out
[Arthas] says: lol!
Uther and a bunch of GUYS ON MOUNTS realize that they don’t want to run Strat with a bunch of noobs, so they run off. Jaina follows.
[Arthas] says: Jaina?
[Jaina] says: All I ever wanted was to study.
(The Alliance) raids Live Strat. They kill green townies that ate purple grain which was infested with plague flies, and our hero slays Mal’ganis, all the while foaming at the mouth. Afterwards, at the burning remains of Stratholme, Jaina is confronted by the Prophet. Meanwhile, Arthas is bragging on the forums about the server first.
Jaina declines quest: Travel West to Kalimdor!
[Jaina] says: Sheesh. Don’t you get the message? Nobody wants to do this quest!
[Prophet] says: You’d think that people would listen to me more if I revealed my true identity.
Prophet gains Raven Form.
[Jaina] yells: HAX!
NOTHING HAPPENS for a while because Northrend was never added to WoW. Eventually, Arthas returns to Lordaeron with TWO CREEPY DUDES behind him. Arthas catches a petal and rubs his fingers on it. The petal turns GREEN.
[Arthas] says: I’m not peeing for a while.
Arthas and his two creepy guards walk inside.
[Teranas] says: Ah, my son.
[Arthas] says: You no longer have to sacrifice for your people. You no longer have to bear the weight of your crown. I have taken care of everything.
[Teranas] says: …k
Arthas pulls out his sword and walks up to his father. The TWO CREEPY DUDES deal with the ONLY TWO GUARDS. Despite being the king of all the Eastern Kingdoms, Teranas doesn’t have any guards close by to him.
[Teranas] says: Arthas! What are you DOING, my son?
[Arthas] says: pwning you, noob
Arthas has defeated Teranas in a duel.
Teranas’s bloody crown rolls around on the floor, and leaves a bloody stain on the floor that nobody thought to clean up for four years.
Arthas performs Cannibalize on Teranas.
Our hero finally gets enough gold to buy his mount after running Lordaeron several times over, and rides around with no particular goal. He eventually meets Tichondrius, rescues the (Hidden Acolytes), and then shows up to Andorhal with some meat wagons.
[Arthas] says: Those things are seriously gross.
Arthas and the MEAT WAGONS run around and eventually Arthas comes upon Gavinrad, a level 25 Paladin.
[Arthas] says: Time to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezszszszzzszzssz!
[Gavinrad] says:[Common]bur
Arthas attacks Gavinrad. Gavinrad attacks Arthas. Gavinrad tries to bubblehearth, but has forgotten completely about the Forbearance nerf. He DIES.
[Arthas] says: Patch 1.9 sure saved a lot of lost hair.
They gank a bunch of Paladins and CC them, /spitting and /dancing on their corpses. After they got bored, they decided to run to Quel’thalas.
[Sylvanas] says:[Common] Ajre aoei fanek burin dur alake.
[Arthas] says: Huh?
Sylvanas sighs at Arthas
Sylvanas points over yonder.
Sylvanas tells Arthas, NO.
Arthas gives Sylvanas a confused look.
[Sylvanas] says:[Common] Oeri nemba iur leka.
[Arthas] says: I can’t understand anything you’re saying!!
Sylvanas runs away. The Scourge destroys the High Elf Base (Blue).
[Arthas] says: That’s a weird name for a base.
They burst through the gate. This causes one of the High Elven workers to EXPLODE, for some reason. The Scourge wipes out an entire base in seconds, and Sylvanas runs across the bridge.
Sylvanas tells everyone to retreat!
Arthas laughs at Sylvanas.
Sylvanas gives Arthas a rude gesture.
Sylvanas laughs at Arthas.
Sylvanas casts a spell, which destroys the bridge. She RUNS.
[Arthas] says: Ok… let’s just walk across the lake.
[Acolyteta] says: Can’t, it’s full of murlocs.
[Arthas] says: Damn that woman.
(The Scourge)’s guildies once again run around randomly, but this time teleporting was frequent to make things all the more confusing. They get some pretty crystals, and then they rally at the outskirts of Silvermoon.
[Sylvanas] says:[Common] Aeshu leker itun forma!
[Arthas] says: I wonder if Night Elves and Blood Elves will be able to talk to eachother in Burning Crusade. I bet that would be helpful.
Arthas hits Sylvanas with his horse. Sylvanas DIES. After that, Arthas decides to be a MAJOR PAIN IN THE ASS and ressurects Sylvanas as a banshee.
[Sylvanas] whispers: omg u loser why wre u ganking us all!
To [Sylvanas]: I just rerolled you.
[Sylvanas] says: Oh. Well, now that I look and sound exactly like a regular Banshee unit, how come I look like an undead elf later?
[Arthas] says: I’ll tell you later.
[Sylvanas] says: I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!!! Call me.
They destroy the Sunwell Guardians and ressurect Kelthuzad as a lich.
[Arthas] says: MEOW!
[Kelthuzad] says: Level 60 Ice Mage LFG.
[1. General][Kelthuzad]: LF Warlock to summon a friend will pay 2c
They raid another base, and one of the warlocks helps Kelthuzad summon one of his friends.
[Kelthuzad] says: Ok click on the portal gogogo
[Arthas] says: I know duh
[Acolick] says: it didnt work
[Arthas] says: Oops I moved
[Kelthuzad] says: U #*!&IN NOOB!!!
[Arthas] says: hey SORRY sheesh
They summon Archimonde.
[Archimonde] says: Tremble mortals, and despair. Doom has come to this world!
[Arthas] says: I don’t think anyone can hear you.
[Archimonde] says: Oh. Right.
[3. LocalDefense][High Warlord Archimonde]: Tremble mortals, and despair. Doom has come to this world!
[3. LocalDefense][Stone Guard Sluht]: where
They run to Dalaran.
[Arthas] says: theres a gay circle blocking the way off
[Archimonde] says: Let this mark symbolize the first blow against the mortal world.
Archimonde completely WRECKS the place.
[Arthas] says: Is it just me, or did Strahnbrad shrink by like 50 sizes from WC3 to WoW?
[Archimonde] says: Shhhhhh.
(The Burning Legion) continues doing whatever it is they do. Meanwhile, (The Horde) has landed on the shores of Kalimdor.
[Thrall] says: Ugh… what happened lasht night? …hic!
Thrall looks completely smashed.
[Mrheadhntr] says: smashT!
Thrall seems to be sobering up.
[Thrall] says: Who would have known that sailing right through the Maelstrom would have resulted in crashed ships? Certainly not I.
You have joined a raid group.
[Raid][Thrall]: ok lets go find the other noobs cuz their lost
(The Horde)’s raid runs around Kalimdor like idiots, finding only 2-5 survivors of REGULAR SIZED SHIPS per ship. On the way, they find a bunch of centaur.
[1. General][Thrall]: which ones better magram or gelkis????????
[1. General][Urmomnoob]: gelkis duh
They continue travelling after meeting a flying BARE NAKED LADY, and they meet Cairne and his MUTANT ARMY OF MAURADING BOVINES.
[Carine] says: m000000
[Thrall] says:
[Carine] says: Level 15 warrior LFG.
They are attacked by centaur. The centaur DIE.
[Carine] says: Well, my army of cows will migrate to Mulgore. But I think that the centaur will follow us because I am paranoid-delusional.
[Thrall] says: Then I am inclined to have my entire guild to help you… for some reason.
[Carine] says: Happy cows come from Mulgore.
--continued below--
