The Young ones Quote thread

"Mike": [Adrian Edmonson dressed as Mike] Okay, guys, come on. As the one guy said to the other guy when he was getting fed up, I'm getting fed up. I want to wash my smalls, and I don't mean dip my tiddlies in a glass of water. Let's go!
 
May the seed of your loin be embedded in the belly of your womaaan !
Boomshanka
Hey guy's it's the piigs!

"fruitful", I think.

If I recall correctly, the letter read:

Dear fascist bully-boy,

Give us some money, you *******. May the seeds of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman.


But it has been many years and I could be wrong.
 
"Oh what a load of old crap, that's not a garden gnome, that's a hippy he's just killed! He's just killed a hippy everybody!"

*Gnome gets hit with spade*

And then of course there was Neil singing "And all that I knew was the hole in my shoe which was letting in water, letting in water" which got into the charts.
 
when aid is pregnant and rick asks what he is going to call the baby.



rick: so what names are you considering

aid: shut up or p*** off

rick: oh very nice, im only asking

aid: no no no,, those are the two names im considering, will be very handy in later life for getting in to fights and stuff.
 
Pollution. All around.
Sometimes, up.
Somtimes, down.
But always, around.
Pollution, are you coming to my town?
Or am I coming to yours.
We're on the different buses, pollution,
But we're both using petrol.
 
Pollution. All around.
Sometimes, up.
Somtimes, down.
But always, around.
Pollution, are you coming to my town?
Or am I coming to yours.
We're on the different buses, pollution,
But we're both using petrol.

BOMBS!
 
Neil: Come on guys, I don't think we should let this experience bring us down. After all, what's so wrong with dirty clothes anyway?

Rick: Yeah! you know, what they say - dirty pants, clean botty.

Mike: Dirty duvet, dirty mind.

Vyvyan: Yeah - my knickers are so old, it's only the stubborn understains that are holding them together.
 
Them little black rubber things that go "nee nee nee nee"...

[Incidentally, if someone knows what these were, I will be seriously grateful - it's been bugging me, on and off, for twenty years!]
 
Their landlord jumping in through the window and saying "Hi guys!" before charging them for the broken window.
 
NEIL: It was horrible. I sat in the big hall and put my pocket of Polos on the desk. And my spare pencil and my support gonk. And my chewing gum and my extra pen. And my extra Polos and my lucky gonk. And my pencil sharpener shaped like a cream cracker. And more gonks with a packet of Polos in each. And lead for my retractable pencil. And my retractable pencil. And spare lead for my retractable pencil. And chewing gum and pencils and pens and more gonks, and the guy says "Stop writing, please."

~~~

VYVYAN: Oh dear. [Sotto to the guys] This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence. [Loudly] Oh, la-di-da! Look what I found in my laundry bag. All of Felicity Kendall's underwear, that needs a good wash!

[The machine makes a lecherous sound and opens its door.]

VYVYAN: NOW!

[The guys stuff their laundry into the machine, which gags and shakes in protest. The others hold the door shut as Mike reads the operating instructions.]

MIKE: Now, "make sure that the door is firmly closed" -- no, we've done that -- right, "fill the tray with powder" -- Powder! What do they mean, "powder"? Gunpowder, curry powder, cocaine? I mean, what's on their minds?

NEIL: Maybe they mean washing powder, Mike. Um...Oh, look, maybe if we got all the horrid sludgy bits out of the other machines we could get enough.

MIKE: Neil, you carry on...Right, "if you require conditioner..." Well, do we?

[Neil collects some sludgy bits and tastes them. He lookssurprised, and eats some more.]

RICK: No, Mike, that's just for people washing their hair.

MIKE: No, we don't want to go mad. Right, "Insert two 50-pence pieces..."

[All action stops suddenly]

[SCENE: The guys are back sitting dejectedly at the kitchen table.]
 
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Mike: Neil, it is very rare you interest me, but today you have. Why do you keep coming in here, carrying a cake, and saying surprise?

Neil: It's my birthday.

Mike: Now you knew that anyway, and we don't care, so where's the surprise?
:D
 
Vyvyan: Will you two shut up? I'm trying to be ill! Oh, God! There's nothing left to wipe my nose on. Even SPG's all covered in snot.

SPG: Ah, too true.
-----------------
Vyvyan:[takes part of his sleeve, sticks it in the top of the vodka bottle]It's funny, but being ill makes me lose my usual tolerant and easy-going approach to communal living.

[lights the Molotov cocktail, throws it across the hall, where it explodes]

[The wall between Neil and Rick is mostly gone. Vyvyan walks in.]

RICK: Oh, well, how ruddy considerate, Vyvyan. Thank you very much!

NEIL: Yeah, thanks, Vyv. That petrol bomb's really cleared my sinuses.
 
We're all going on a Summer holiday...

Sick is still a favourite.... AHHHHHHHH AHHHHHHH AHHHHHHH in symphony!

VIV: Hold Still Neil. We couldnt find acupuncture needles so we'll have to use six inch nails instead.
NEIL: Achooo *splat*
 
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