Things get difficult from here

bloodraven

bloodraven

bloodraven

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19 Mar 2021
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56
I am used to talking gaming with my Dad, the man that started more or less my absolute gaming addiction. Isn't it funny how some parts of a parent are you but a bit different, we liked some same games but diverted over the years though I was pushing him into better games and systems like the last of us set, horizon zero dawn etc but it is never going to be the same.
We have lost a gamer, my dad passed a few weeks ago but I can not help but turn to my phone to talk gaming with him, hey dad you going to get the new dead space it look sick as **** its out in january ive pre ordered it have you? then wondering why I dont get a response message for a little while.
Although I have 90% of dads gaming gear here in storage it has not really caught up yet. My dad was a playful guy I still expect his death to be fake and a joke and will turn up on my door " come on show me your new gaming pc then " because I was working on my 4090 prep pc at the time.
The stories and memories like he had a few extreme game addictions
- tomb raider
- Wolfenstein
- Deadspace
- Sniper elite
and Aliens, when I was a kid I was always would scare the daylights out of him while playing alien trilogy on ps1. At night with headphones on he would play it max volume, I hid behind the sofa and waited until the perfect moment to jump out on him. I always took it a step higher, anyone remember the jumping RC cars? I planted a facehugger replica on the top and made it jump at him and he ran like wtf where did I put my pulse rifle, doing a professional roll over the arm of the sofa.
I have 2 sets of memories of 1) dad 2) trans mother ( dad ) when becoming a woman at a later age I could not say I did not expect the name change to Lara, yet another tribute to the gaming addiction.

Imagine this, your parents are fighting and you walk in half way through the fight and your dad is making out with a cardboard cutout of lara croft he got from choices ( rental store ages ago ) and you try working out how it got there in the argument lol mum hated that lara cut out because it made her feel unloved ( she was unloved as a monster that she is ) but you then expect them to get divorced. The next day you see that cut out pinned to a door with a hole in just the right place and think wtf is going on here ive joked about that for years how the hole was right there of all places and he kept telling me that mum tore it in half and a it was damage from that * sure it was dad sure it was * and to this year he passed kept that story.

Going through all the gaming tech I inherited brings back more memories though wondered how he got a full signature list of lara croft voice / models . Yet it has not sunk in yet, even writing this post thinking I should call later and see what is playing of late it never sinks in although I just had a custom reservoir made for the ashes part of them will sit in a sealed part like a distro plate, to keep him part of my gaming life.

Like me Dad loved metal most likely where I got it from I remeber the day I thought would have a heart attack we fought jokingly over a lost £5 note we found and he thought would be smart and say ok you can have it if you can play judas priests painkiller on this guitar, He did not know I could already play a guitar ( as was not allowed to play any instruments in the house - mum / the beast ) so ok I started playing like a noob then as he was laughing like this 5er is mine and just shredding the solos without missing a beat, gave me a 20 instead lol and could not talk for the rest of the day.

My love of star trek came from him, all the times we have seen star trek actors together most of them across all series some great memories. George Takei was shocked to see his 1st edition of beyond the stars up for signature and he is a awesome guy in person Dad and I spent some time talking to him face to face. Marina sirtis ( Deanna Troi ) Dad copped a feel when the photo was taken of them together it was so funny, We saw all of them that came to the UK same with Babylon 5 he really loved claudia christian who gave him a risky plcture lol.

I am sorry to just rant a bit on here, You would think I could take to my own family and share things with them, think again... apart from dad and my brother the rest are bad in ways you wont think about and vowed to never speak to them again after them clearing out the wallets and money while dad was still on the floor its sick and so are they.
 
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RIP to your father, sometimes it's nice to unload and you find things in your memory that you didn't know was in it!

I am glad you had a good relationship with your farther and a gaming one at that, awesome. Treasure that, I didn't even have that with any of my parents so hold onto those memories for sure
 
I relate to this to some extent. My dad is a difficult man who really plagues my mental health. He is nice but incorrigible and drives me absolutely mad to the point whereby I go weeks or months without talking to him. He's 85 but in good health, though I know as much as he aggravates me I'll be sad when he's gone. Just hold onto the good memories, I suppose, though some people are a real mixed bag.
 
All the best mate, it does get more bearable overtime, stays with you though. Some relatives seem to turn into psychos in these situations or were they really like that all along?
They live on in your memory
 
thank you, there is a lifetime of memories some good some bad but all in all funny. Family does drive you mad I hope your relationship with your father does not decline. Odd though as it is one of the biggest memories was just after dad came out to me as trans, I visited days later and I joke you not the image of him hoovering all i could think was I want to break free Queen song because he looked exactly like freddie in that video. #

hey the zx spectrum was awesome lol load: lol or the masturbation simulator known as warewolves of london ( look it up and tell me it dont look and sound dodgy ) lol memory of that dad walked in on me what he thought was i was chocking the chicken but was playing daily tompsons supertest with the old sinclair joystick stuck to a glass pane ( the game that ruined every joystick ) a lot of memories there with dad too good old zx spectrum.

Thing is I dont know what to do with his gaming stuff, it is way lower date than my own I have 3 series x - he had xb one, ps4 - got multiple ps5s and the games I own digitally seems a shame to keep them in storage.
 
if you need the money you could sell them.
if you dont need the money but want something to remember him by you could sell them and buy something you know you and him would have enjoyed.

or alternatively if you dont need the money but want them to have a positive effect you could donate them to a charity shop or to a local kids hospital or summat OR sell them and donate the cash to special effect or something (so gaming related)

what ever you do is your call, but personally i dont see much point in storing them either, it isnt like they are retro consoles you can revist from time to time - like the old speccy you talk about for instance.
 
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Lysander said:
I relate to this to some extent. My dad is a difficult man who really plagues my mental health. He is nice but incorrigible and drives me absolutely mad to the point whereby I go weeks or months without talking to him. He's 85 but in good health, though I know as much as he aggravates me I'll be sad when he's gone. Just hold onto the good memories, I suppose, though some people are a real mixed bag.
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Sounds exactly the same as my dad. He’s a tight, racist, greedy moaner of a man, but he’s still my dad
 
I'm really sorry for your loss. It's funny cause sometimes I worry about losing my mum as she's getting older now, and we talk every day on Hangouts and I think that will be the saddest part, not being able to message and get a reply. Stay strong, we're here for you. :)
 
thank you, the thing is with passing family members it is always the fear that something will happen that gets you the most. All you can do is spend as much free time as you can with your mother.

The worst thing about this is my family treading all over those memories, dad wanted all his property to be fair between the 4 kids. It was hard for me to do as my family are horrible. Take my older sister a neo nazi drug addict ( not a joke ) that did not speak to dad for 17 yrs since turned trans because her neo nazi ideals why should i treat her fairly but have. All my family cares about is money nothing else. I spent what dad gave me in money on my children.

Money is not an issue, I want to try find families with kids on low income benefits maybe.
 
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