Hello Sir,
This is just a friendly email to let you know we're increasing your bills so that'll be an extra £30 each quarter from now on, until we decide to raise them again. We understand that you signed up for a fixed price per month contract to keep a handle on your finances but our fine print says we can increase the bill with inflation, because we wanted to get you hooked but then rinse you for more money later. This seems fair because our costs have unexpectedly increased this year in line with the expected inflation rates, even though your pay has been frozen for the last two years - and very necessary otherwise our chief executive would have missed out on half his E3million bonus this year.
We know that it's never nice to have a bigger bill than you were expecting which is why we've let you know a month in advance, and we hope you understand that this has been a very tough decision for us to make.
Of course, if you no longer wish to stay with us after this change, that's fine. Just phone us on this 09 number (calls cost 50p/minute and you may be required to listen to excessively long notices and product advertisements before being placed in an inexplicably long queue) and our Indian call centre technicians will be happy to assist. You'll receive a full refund minus a cancellation fee of 90% of the remaining months on your contract, plus a E30 administration fee to cover our expenses. If you do decide to leave us, please have a look at our wide range of contracts, including the one you were originally on, which are now available at an even lower monthly rate than your old one before we put your bill up because we're trying to get as many new customers as possible before shoving their rates up too.
Have a wonderful day, and we'll see you this time next week to roger you some more.
Yours sincerely,
[insert generic company here]
