Timing a wedding proposal so close to an actual wedding.....thoughts?

[R.O.S.S.I]

I've been looking for an opportunity to pop the question to my other half and was wondering whether people felt proposing to someone the day before an upcoming wedding was poor form?

The wedding is of a family friend who they don't see that often so it's not a close family or friend, i've never met any of them and i'm sure my partner hasn't seen them for some time and doesn't know a lot of people going, however we have been invited.

I ideally want to ask her back at her family home which they are in the process of selling as I know it's a sentimental place to her and will be one of the last times we both get to visit together before they sell up next month.

The weather is supposed to be nice on Friday, Saturday and Sunday so I was thinking of either a sunset proposal on the Friday OR a sunrise proposal on the Sunday. The wedding in question is in the middle on the Saturday.

Part of me thinks its fine because the wedding isn't of someone close to us, but then I feel like some people get funny about this kind of thing in case it somehow takes the shine off the wedding. The ideal scenario for me is that the weather is great on Friday and we have a BBQ and i'll pop that evening, the next scenario would be getting up to watch sunrise, however this ones a bit more of a struggle to get buy in for


I also want to try and do it this weekend as this will be the only weekend we have together now really until we go on holiday to France in mid August (to another wedding!)
(I also don't want to propose in France as I did this with an ex many years ago and the relationship ended so don't want any bad joo joo!)

 

[R.O.S.S.I]

Yeh I wouldn't be bringing it up at the wedding anyway. From discussions with my partner we wouldn't be staying late anyway. I think doing it and just keeping it on the dl till after the wedding may be the way to go.

 

[R.O.S.S.I]

Interesting differing of opinions now haha. I'm pretty sure she can keep her "trap" closed if needed.

 

[R.O.S.S.I]

No you don't know me and I wont be proposing at any weddings, don't worry.

 

[R.O.S.S.I]

I'm wondering whether to float the idea past her mum or dad to see what they think, seeing as they will be around too.

We've openly spoke about getting married too quite a lot over the past 6 months and she knows a proposal is imminent, she just doesn't know whether it is going to be this week or in 2 months time (she knows i've been looking at rings etc).

I think this weekend would be completely unexpected to her as I think she thinks I am going to wait till we go away to France in August, but I think doing it at her family home will mean a lot more to her and has nicer sentiment to it.

 

[R.O.S.S.I]

I feel it could be in poor form. To your other half it would almost look as though you've proposed because this upcoming wedding has influenced the question.

Why didn't you propose a month ago for example?

I've been waiting on the ring being made and sent to me which took around 3 weeks and i've only just taken receipt of it.

Could always ask her dad for "permission" in the traditional style and see what he thinks of your plan?

I proposed on Christmas Eve knowing that we'd be with all my wife's family the next day to tell everyone.

I've already done the traditional thing and asked both mum and dad for permission , so they know its on the cards too.

 

[R.O.S.S.I]

I know you said you don't want to do it in France which is fair enough given the reason, but to ask her in the family home?
Where's the romance in that?

It's as bad as a guy I used to work with who popped the question in bed and presented her with a £400 ring.

I also looked at rings with my other half but then I left it for many months before even starting to plan how I was going to ask.
The last thing I wanted was for her to expect it or know when it was coming.
That's just me though.

Not in the family home, at their family home. It used to be a farm and is in a picturesque spot with a lovely garden and a hot tub with views out. A sunset hot tub proposal may be an option. Part of the reason we came back from living overseas was that her parents were thinking of selling it and she didn't want to be abroad whilst it was sold and her not get chance to come back and spend time there. So it's a fairly significant place for her.
I have no intention of popping the question in the kitchen

I think it depends on how he plans to propose.

I've been engaged before and it was just a private thing.

I wouldn't suggest doing it at the wedding or the reception. I agree that would be bad form.

If OP wants to make it a big celebration then he should probably do it on another day after the wedding if only because his own celebration wouldn't get the full attention either.

Just to clarify again, I do not under any circumstances want to propose at someone else's wedding or wedding reception.

I don't want it to be a big hoo-haa. I'll be doing it just the pair of us. If we decide to celebrate it more formally we will arrange something in the following days/weeks when friends and family are free.

 

[R.O.S.S.I]

If the farm means so much to her then I think the best proposal you could make would be "let's buy the farm". Anything else could come across as compensating.

My impression is that a marriage proposal signals new beginnings. I have my doubts about mixing that up with all the nostalgia that goes with being at the family home and all the talk of moving out. I could be way off though if the vibe is right.

Haha, we would have loved to however don't have a few spare million lying around!

Do it but don’t make it widely known until after the wedding.

If I do end up popping the Q tomorrow evening then we will do this!

Thanks for your input guys, mixed opinions on this it seems