Today i'm facing my biggest fear!

wez130

wez130

wez130

Soldato
Joined
31 Jan 2004
Posts
11,308
Location
Matakana New Zealand
I'm currently in my hospital bed waiting to go down to surgery to have my gall bladder removed. I've got to 46 years old without ever having to visit a hospital for anything more than a sprained ankle! Now i'm about to go under a general anaesthetic and frankly, i'm bricking it, i've always dreaded this day coming, having no control of my immediate destiny. I'm sure everything is going to be fine but it's the fear of the unknown! Hopefully i'll be back in a few hours saying I had nothing to worry about :)
 
I spent all day waiting, being told that they will be collecting me soon so make sure i'm ready, it got to 4pm and they finally picked me up and took me to theater, had a chat with anesthetist and made peace with myself (lol), waited for about 20 minutes to go to theater then was told they had to cancel me as they had just got an emergency and needed the theater for it, rescheduled for some time tomorrow now. I was so close!
 
BowdonUK said:
It's like going to sleep. But I think the feeling of not being in control is the overriding feeling.

Good luck hopefully for today.
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This is exactly it, it's the thought having no control, and obviously not experiencing it before.

Well, it's a new day, was a pretty spectacular sunrise gthis morning too, i got lucky with my hospital bed right next to the window on the 9th floor overlooking Takapuna and Auckland CBD. (excuse the dirty window pic)
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I got into some pretty deep sleeps last night too, but was woken 4 times in 5 hours for meds and blood pressure etc so that was slightly annoying. I did give the first nurse a scare when she woke me up, because damn i jumped when she woke me, she gave me a scare :p
 
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Yulaw said:
Good luck.

Am currently sitting in my hospital gown waiting to go down for abdominal surgery.

Absolutely shi bricks, first time I've had surgery.
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Take it from me (of all people lol!), you'll be fine.

Update: Today i conquered my biggest fear.

So after yesterdays fiasco, i've had a lot to traumatize me lol. I didn't sleep much at all last night, I binged Slow horses on Apple TV to keep my mind off it all, what a fantastic series!

Anyway, doctor came to see me at just before 6am this morning to reassure me that my surgery was definitely going ahead and that i was first in the queue! que impending doom moment but calmly. That said, i didn't have much time to dwell on it as I had to rush around showering and toileting etc, soon after, the orderly came to collect me for the the long wheel of doom to theater waiting room, saw the senior doctor and surgeon who explained everything, then I just stuck some relaxing music on in my buds while I waited.

9.30am, I was collected then wheeled to theater, weirdly, a felt really calm but slightly anxious, I guess I was relieved the wait was over. I was asked to climb onto the operating table then made comfortable, there were around 6 or 7 people there trying to comfort me and something was sent into my IV tube which was supposed to relax me, I felt a little dizzy but I definitely was relaxed, they double checked all my tubes and connections and gave me oxygen, then a couple of minutes later, they told me i'd be going to sleep soon, though no countdown! Next thing, I woke up in recovery room and it was 2.30pm I felt groggy but I felt compus mentus too, i was aware of my surroundings almost instantly, I had no pain and I was very calm and relaxed, I just let it ride!

Surgery took almost 5 hours instead of the routine 1 to 2 hours, so seeing the time I was confused, I was taken back to ward and doc came to explain why the surgery took longer, he said I had a pretty aggravated gall bladder that was difficult to remove, they took most of it out but had to clean and make safe what was left but it's perfectly safe to do so. the procedure remained keyhole thankfully and the pain has been pretty tolerable, maybe 3/10 at most so far. I've just taken my first oral painkillers about half an hour ago. I have to stay in hospital for 2 days though.

Conclusion, whilst the fear of the unknown is valid, my experience was a positive one and i'm glad it's over, but I wouldn't rush to go and do it again lol. The worst part is definitely the waiting for it to happen! Here's to a speedy recovery
 
Thanks for all the responses and support. I didn't sleep very well last night, couldn't get comfortable, plus the machine they had on my legs inflating and deflating to keep my circulation going well, whilst felt amazing all day, it got annoying in the night so I had to get it turned off. I am keeping on top of the morphine and the pain is in control, it's not gone above maybe a 4 out of 10 when moving around.
I have been quite mobile this morning, walked a few laps around the ward with my pet blood drainage bottle, which i'm hoping to be severed from today. Docs haven't been to see me yet but I feel pretty good apart from the immediate obvious.
 
Day 2...

The day started off ok, pain was in control but I could feel it, i've been taking steps to keep moving, all was fine until 2.30pm. The house officer came to check my blood drain pipe and authorized for it to be removed after checking contents of the cup were all good. 2 nurses came round a few minutes later with scalpers and scissors etc to remove the stitches that were holing the tube in, then they tried to pull it out. I cannot describe the uncomfort I felt when they tried to do this (and failed!) It felt like my intestine was being ripped out, forcing the breath out of my body too. I didn't half let out a huge 'cry' as they attempted it, I saw the look on my fellow room patients faces, grimmacing as they watched.

The tube was resisting removal more than it should have, so they went to get advice and half an hour later, they came to try again, and failed again, causing even more pain. Once again, they left me alone and went to get a junior doctor (it was saturday here), he came and didn't take any prisoners, he just grabbed it, put pressure on my body and firmly pulled it out, it really, really hurt! Since then, i've only been able to shallow breath because it feels like I have a stitch and my body is really tender at that point so it hurts when i cough / laugh or even shiver!

Lets see what today brings. I know i'm in hospital till at least tomorrow though.
 
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Today i'm feeling a lot better, i'm more mobile, functioning all correctly (:p) and recovery is going well, i'm being discharged from hospital this morning. Now my next challenge is to keep myself off the booze at home, i've not had a drink in over a week now and i've enjoyed not drinking too and haven't even missed it one bit, so I want to keep it up. I need to change some home habits so I don't slip back into them (different thread maybe).
 
Hello.....i'm home, and i'm off pain relief, hospital sent me home yesterday with a big box of paracetamol and 30 morphine tablets to last me a week, i took one of each yesterday at home at around 5pm and haven't needed any since. I'm much more mobile now, although i'm still taking things very easy, just chilling around the house now for the next 2 weeks. My only struggle now is taking deep breaths, it still feels like a stitch when i do try, but other than that i'm pretty comfortable. Ironically, i'm kinda missing being in hosptial, made a couple of friends from the ward I was in, and it was nice being waited on hand and foot for a change :p.

I guess looking back, things weren't as bad as I thought they would be, now I am where I am, the absolute worst experience of the whole week was having that tube taken out of me! I think i'd still feel mostly the same as I did before, if I do end up facing surgery again, but a little more educated about things. I guess it'll never get easy, but it is a necessity when required!
 
ristac said:
Glad to read you are on the mend, I hope you manage to implement those lifestyle changes
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I'm staying off the alcohol for sure, this is THE biggest deal for me, my lifestyle as a chef has had me, for the past 30 years or so, having 'a beer or 2' after work being pretty normal after every shift, and on my day(s) off, i'll drink more than a couple, but still not excessive (maybe 6 or 7 x330ml bottles). So while I can control when to stop drinking so I don't get drunk or drink a huge amount, it's still extremely regularly. I got E.Coli in about October last year and I stopped drinking for about 12 days while I was suffering with it and I was really proud of myself for doing it, and then when it was over, I thought that wasn't too bad, maybe I can control my consumption and just have 1 or 2 a night, but before I knew it, I was back to my usual amount and I just don't have that self control once I start again so this time, I really want to figure out how I can still enjoy a beer maybe once or twice a week but have the self control to not drink the rest of the week. I need to change my normal habits in other aspects of my life to try andhelp with this but it's hard with my job as I have to be up for work at 4am, i'm usually going to bed at 7.30/8pm, so i'll wind down from about 6pm and watch a bit of TV or something.

I also really want to look at my diet too, being a chef, when i'm at home, i really don't feel like cooking and eating a healthy balanced meal when i've spent all day cooking as it is so i'll just usually make something quick to eat, like a pizza, or a jacket potato or something, I spend my workday grazing at food at work and don't eat proper meals, so again, this is going to be difficult to make a plan too. I did ask the doctors at hospital if I should look at making changes to my diet now i've had my gall bladder out and he said I don''t need to make any changes specifically for that reason.
 
Tuppy_Glossop said:
@wez130 Sounds like you are over the worst now. I had mine out in 2000 via open surgery due to the size of the gallbladder (they counted 240 stones!). I have a juicy 20cm scar. I also recall the bile-draining T-pipe and, more specifically, its removal. The doctor had student docs around and made one of them do it. He was afraid to pull hard so I had the sensation of all my organs flopping around as he pulled. It was the weirdest feeling. I got the self-administering morphine machine for three days after surgery. Visitors told me I was dribbling and not making sense, it was great. Unfortunately, I still make stones in the bile duct and have since had to have another procedure, a sphincterotomy, to stop the stones collecting at the bottom of my bile duct at the exit from the pancreas, because I kept getting pancreatitis. That was my third time under general, but seems to have settled it all down now. I get bouts of stones occasionally but only have the cramping pain as they transit and no more pancreatitis! I deal with it using over the counter co-codamol. Good luck with the rest of your recovery.

E: sentence fixed
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Yes! That's what I think the nurses felt when they were trying to remove the pipe, they were afraid to pull too hard and man! That feeling is the worst!!!

One thing I dislike about New Zealand is you can't get Co-codamol over the counter here! I don't even think you can buy strong ibuprofen (400mg+) either!
 
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