Tuesday's Joke

Soldato
Joined
13 Dec 2006
Posts
6,935
Location
On the forest moon Endor
A Jamaican fireman came home from work, one day and said to his wife,
"Y'know sumptin womon, we have a wonderful new system at de fire station."

Bell 1 rings - we put on our jackets.
Bell 2 rings we slide down de pole.
Bell 3 rings -we jump on de ingine and we's ready to go.

"From now on womon, when I say, 'Bell one' I want you to strip naked.
When I say, 'Bell two' you jump on de bed.
When I say, ' Bell three' we's gonna mek love all tru de night girl."

The next night, he came home and shouted,

"Bell One" and the wife Stripped naked!
"Bell Two" and she jumped on the bed!
"Bell Three" and they started to make love!



After a few minutes, the wife yelled out, "Bell Four!!!!"
"WOMON ... What de hell is 'Bell Four'?" he asked.



She replied, "Roll out more hose, mon, you ain't nowhere near de fire!"
 
Why are they Jamaican?
Because the Irish are too stupid to count to 4! Baddum tish!

What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese. LOL

What's the difference between afterbirth and sand?
You can't gargle sand. LOL

Why did the helicopter crash?
It was flown by a 2 legged Labrador. LOL

Why did the car fall off the bridge?
The wind was too strong and blew it off because the car had really cheap tyres. LOL
 
A Woman walks into a dry cleaners and plonks her dress on the counter

"ill pick it up Friday"

"Come again" the assistant asks

"No" Replies the young Woman



"Its mayonnaise"
 
Manuel and Pedro worked together and both were laid off, so
they went to the unemployment office. When asked his
occupation, Manuel answered, "Panty stitcher. I sew da elastic
onto ladies' cotton panties."

The clerk looked up Panty Stitcher. Finding it classified as
'unskilled' labour, she gave him £50 a week unemployment pay.

Pedro was asked his occupation. "Diesel fitter" he replied.
Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Pedro
£100 a week.

When Manuel found out, he was furious. He stormed back into the
office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting
double his pay.

The clerk explained, "Panty stitchers are unskilled, and diesel
fitters are skilled labour."

"What skill?" yelled Manuel. "I sew da elastic on da panties,
Pedro puts dem over his head and says: 'Yeah, diesel fitter.' "

:D
 
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