Uni halls - Flatmate moving in boyfriend

BYTEr

BYTEr

BYTEr

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Hi all,

Currently living in halls for my 3rd year at uni and a potential awkward flatmate issue has arisen.

Basically one of my female flatmates has essentially moved in her boyfriend!

I asked her today when he was planning to go home and she basically said he isn't. His actually moved from another EU country (doesn't speak a word of English) and his intentions are to find a job and live with her until the summer when their find their own place together apparently. I was quite surprised at this when she said this and basically replied ''are you allowed to do this?'', she just shrugs her shoulders and replies ''Don't care, who's going to find out anyway?''.

To me this is incredibly rude, there's already 6 of us in a fairly small place and she hasn't even had the courtesy to let any of us know. My initial thoughts were to just go and see the halls manager tomorrow and let him know the situation however after discussing it with some of my flatmates, they don't want me to do this as they think she'll obviously think it was one of us and it could break them up etc and cause tension within the flat. I even offered to tell her that I'm unhappy with the situation and why and give them 2 weeks to get something sorted before I'd have no choice to see the manager but they ain't happy with that suggestion either. There arguing that he isn't really going to bother us that greatly, things like bills are a set monthly amount etc for example.

Is it just me then? I wouldn't for a moment think of moving my girlfriend in, but all my other flatmates don't see a big issue with it and would rather maintain the peace.

What would you guys do if you were in a similar situation?

Thanks in advance.
 
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Van Hellseek said:
Move out of halls?
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Why? I've been in a different halls every year and for the most part its been brilliant fun, besides I couldn't afford to get a flat with 12 months contract, then there's the hassle of bills etc. In my experience maintenance issues are fixed a lot quicker as there's managers on site, there's security, only paying for 9 months rent, flat parties every night which is a great way to meet new people, in my opinion halls is better than renting a flat with just a few mates.

Oh and I can't live at home as I live in Somerset and study in London.
 
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I would complain to the manager simply for the ''Don't care, who's going to find out anyway?'' comment, just to spite her. And it'll be in your Uni rules about living with partners and whether you can or not. If the digs are single occupancy, it's more than likely against the rules.
 
OhEsEcks said:
I would complain to manager simply for the ''Don't care, who's going to find out anyway?'' comment, just to spite her. And it'll be in your Uni rules about living with partners and whether you can or not. If the digs are single occupancy, it's more than likely against the rules.
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Just to clarify, these are private halls, not uni campus ones and out of the 3 halls I've stayed in, this one has by far the loosest/shortest contract, as in, in the other 2 there was actual limits, eg; you may have a guest 2 nights a week etc, where as where I am currently there's simply a sentence which says you should be respectful to flatmates, still though, I'm sure the manager won't be impressed.
 
I understand you're concern but its swings and roundabouts. In 1st year one of my flatmates dropped out and we turned his room into a gaming room... (This you have gained a house mate)..

Seriously, I'd leave it for now. Of he/she really starts to affect you then go to the halls manager.. You're a friend(flatmate) first...
 
Doomedspeed said:
I understand you're concern but its swings and roundabouts. In 1st year one of my flatmates dropped out and we turned his room into a gaming room... (This you have gained a house mate)..

Seriously, I'd leave it for now. Of he/she really starts to affect you then go to the halls manager.. You're a friend(flatmate) first...
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Thanks for the reply. We have gained a flatmate and I am quite sociable so can see it as a positive but he doesn't speak a word of English and doesn't drink, also there always together now in their room rather than chatting in the kitchen so feel like I've lost a flatmate really.

I might leave it for now, especially since no one else wants to do anything about it and I don't want to cause her any distress as she is a good and social flatmate, I think it's the fact she never asked anyone which has annoyed me the most.
 
You need to find 3 things to make this problem go away:

1. A backbone.
2. A computer with an internet connection allowing the use of Google Translate.
3. The ability to recite in the opponent's language, using point 2, the phrase, "Stand and bang."

Alternatively, tell Miss Unilateral Decision Maker that she has no right to do what she's trying to do and is a terrible person for foisting her desire for a stuffed vagina ahead of her 5 housemates' reasonable request to share a space and if she wants to move in with her boyfriend then she should move out and leave the rest of you in peace.
 
Unless he physically affects your studies in some way I cant see what the issue is. You're not paying for bills presumably since it's halls so it has no financial effect on you.

It's your third year, you've got bigger things to worry about. In my opinion.
 
My alarm bells are ringing here

3rd year student never living on own, always in halls, Computer Science degree? Social Awkwardness? Massive urges to destroy others lives when it really isn't your business ,or at most a slight inconvenience.

Why not move your GF in ? Have you spoke to the guy ? Force going for a Beerski with him ? 3 some? Have you explored your homosexual urges?

Do you feel your Alpha status as a 3rd year student, over the tribe, is threatened by the emergence of her exotic sexual partner and his unfamiliar pheromone cocktail?
 
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If he's working make him pay 100 quid a week and use that for beer/pizza/takeaways or whatever substances youngsters these days consume to get happy.
 
Efour said:
My alarm bells are ringing here

3rd year student never living on own, always in halls, Computer Science degree? Social Awkwardness? Massive urges to destroy others lives when it really isn't your business ,or at most a slight inconvenience.

Why not move your GF in ? Have you spoke to the guy ? Force going for a Beerski with him ? 3 some? Have you explored your homosexual urges?

Do you feel your Alpha status as a 3rd year student, over the tribe, is threatened by the emergence of her exotic sexual partner and his unfamiliar pheromone cocktail?
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haha - lol
 
Efour said:
My alarm bells are ringing here

3rd year student never living on own, always in halls, Computer Science degree? Social Awkwardness? Massive urges to destroy others lives when it really isn't your business ,or at most a slight inconvenience.

Why not move your GF in ? Have you spoke to the guy ? Force going for a Beerski with him ? 3 some? Have you explored your homosexual urges?

Do you feel your Alpha status as a 3rd year student, over the tribe, is threatened by the emergence of her exotic sexual partner and his unfamiliar pheromone cocktail?
Click to expand...

:D
 
Back in 1999, I was in halls at uni in Bournemouth.

Business IT Degree course. <--Geek...:o

6 of us. 3 boys, 3 girls.

1 of the males had already moved his mate in who had no accommodation in with him.

Non smoking designated flat, they both smoked. He'd ticked non-smoking, because it smells nicer.

I hated shared living. No consideration from others.

But, if I did it again, I'd let my hair down a bit more.

I wouldn't be stupidly generous, but I'd keep some cheap lager and some cards around to offer up and be social.

Then maybe I could have slept with at least 2 of the girl flatmates. Then I would offered my room if any of their female friends wanted to stay and slept with them and their mothers or sisters.

All I'm saying is, crack open a brew with this guy. Share a bottle of vodka or 2 with your flatmates. Enjoy being as much as a dosser as them.

You can have a quiet, subdued life in 5-10 years time.
 
you could just sit back and watch, this will inevitably cause **** for your housemates and once it happens everyone will click on with the same idea something has to be done.
 
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