Urinating Standing Up

[randomshenans]

Right, my Mrs was talking to her friend who's American but married to a French guy. Said how he'd broken his iPad again... while going for a pee... My wife was like, How can you even hold an iPad while peeing as a man?

Now, this will blow your mind....

Apparently he goes sitting down. Always. His mother never TAUGHT him to go standing up. I **** YOU NOT! He never goes in urinals, always a cubical, and if there isn't a cubical, just won't go!?

So now their two boys (6 and 9) also always sit down too!? What????

I couldn't get my head around it.

 

[randomshenans]

Using a cubical is one thing. Having to take a **** only sitting down, old man tucked between your legs like a mangina, is another.

Stand and deliver. That's how it should be, we're men!

 

[randomshenans]

No, no. I have a solid flow.

 

[randomshenans]

Quite common in Western Europe, maybe further afield. Hardly mind blowing. Less splashback means less cleaning too.

It's not mindblowing that a fully grown man is incapable of having a pee standing up? Not out of choice... INCAPABLE. I just don't get it.

 

[randomshenans]

When I first started the world of corporate work I was at a urinal starting to flow when the COO came and stood right next to me and started chatting. I literally stopped mid flow. Didn't think it was possible.

Gave me a couple of months of urinal fear that did. Then I realised unless they put their finger up your bum, it's all good.

 

[randomshenans]

An How to Pee app?

"Hold penis in hand..."

"Point it down at the bowl"

"Let it flow..."


BUT I CAN'T!!!!!!

 

[randomshenans]

Nothing wrong with sitting down out of choice, but sitting down because you can't physically work out how to **** standing up is retarded!

 

[randomshenans]

The problem with sitting down to urinate is that you have to tuck in the little fella to stop it brushing the inside of the toilet bowl.

I hate that. Especially in public/ not my home toilet.


"ARGGGH ******* TO RIM CONTACT HAS BEEN MADE"

 

[randomshenans]

Don't get me wrong, middle of the night sitdown pees are what it's all about; less noise, don't need to blind myself, pee on my feet etc. but knowing I can at any moment stand up and wee like a trooper is what keeps me going as a man.

Not having this skill in my arsenal would be like losing a ball.

 

[randomshenans]

Or a warm bog seat that's JUST had someone else's arse on it?!

 

[randomshenans]

Through the ACTUAL bell?

 

[randomshenans]

Post sex weeing standing up is pretty much as accurate and predictable as giving a hosepipe to a kid with ADHD due to the foreskin + man juice + the hole interaction. Thats about the only time I sit down and the reduced manliness is offse5 by the fact you just 'pasty smashed' as we xall it around here.

It's all amount the lunge position with forearm lean against wall point downwards technique.

 

[randomshenans]

Do any of you flop of the meat and it's 2 accompanying veg while at the urinal, or just Sgt Pepper himself? Something I just feel more comfortable junk out.




No? Just me? Thought so.

 

[randomshenans]

I dont believe I have ever gone into a cubicle with the intentions of having a sit down wee wee. If I'm perching my cheeky on what hundreds of other men have also, I'm gunna mark my territory and mess the place up with fecal matter.



Who doesn't wipe standing up!? Why would you want to stretch your arm through your legs down into the toilet to wipe your arse?

Stand up, part left arse cheek with left hand, wipe bum hole with tissue on right hand.

Bending just causes natural parting... no need for manual left hand intervention. Lean to one side (auto parting commences) reach AROUND (not through) wipe.

Some people...

 

[randomshenans]

At urinals? I bet people LOVE standing near you