Wedding Date Hell

SpeedFreak

SpeedFreak

SpeedFreak

Soldato
Joined
14 Nov 2002
Posts
7,803
Location
Under the Hill
God, i didn't think chosing a date could be so complicated.
Here is the situation:

Must be a Tuesday as most of my other half's family run chinese restaraunts and take aways. Tuesday is their day off.

Must be in a school break as both my Fiance and mum are teachers.

Must be in August at the earliest and no later than the end of October. I need at least 10 months to save the 18k.

Has to be on a Chinese auspicious date of which there are about 8 per month.


After all these criteria have been met we are left with 0 days in 2008 to get married :rolleyes: This is all taking the michael!
 
Tuesdays are just the day the all have, no particular reason other than it's the done thing I guess. My other half's uncle's and aunts have the take aways, her mum is retired.

The only real problem is that it is her mum who will end up disappointed, nobody else. As she is a widow, the traditions mean a lot to her as she feels her husband would have wanted it that way. I think ignoring the traditions that she wants us to adhere to will make her feel a little isolated, which neither of us want, but I'm Irish, so my family would walk over glass for a party, Chinese people are work first, everything else second, family or not.
 
As Raymond probably knows already, it's more a case of 18k out and then after the wedding around 6-8k returned through financial gifts from the other half's family. I still need the money as an initial outlay though.

I agree with all the sentiment that it's just one day etc..., but I also understand that she wants the event to be how her family and friends expect it.

It seems as if the auspicious date may have to be sacraficed, much to the disappointment of her mum. That leaves us witht he 28th of october as a possibility now.

I am stil undecided as to what is more selfish, buggering off to the middle of nowhere and robbing your family of the opportunity to celebrate your day with you, or expecting a family member to be so extravagant with their wedding in the first place.

The main difficulty for her is that a lot of people she knows have their wedding paid for by their parents. Because I come from a culture where it is the bride's parents who pay and in her's the grooms, we are paying for it all ourselves. Unfortunately, a lot of people seem to forget this and the expectation of a big party remains.

To put this into perspective, we are having over 200 people to the main meal, which is a Chinese banquet. This is usually £500 for a table of 10 people.
 
wordy said:
Please don't take this the wrong way, but isn't that awfully selfish on her families part. I mean it's going to be one day out of their business to see their daughter get married, surely their businesses aren't that struggling that much that missing one days takings will ruin them?

They seem to be happy to let greed dictate as to when the most important day of their daughters life takes place, which pretty much puts you in an impossible situation, I assume she won't want to get married unless they are there?:(
Click to expand...

it's not her mum who has the business, she has retired. It's pretty much all of her uncles and aunts though, as well as loads of family friends.
 
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