My place of gainful employment has a nasty habbit of promising things like "if you stay an extra 2 hours we'll give you £30" or "if you come in at 3am, we'll pay you £15 an hour and buy you dinner". All total fiction of course.
I now have the entirety of my shift trained to, on hearing these promises, proclaim loudly "the cake is a LIE!". Better than that, the other day, I actually seen a "hey wow, bonus scheme" poster......with a little slice of cake bearing those famous words affixed to it.
Cake, and grief counselling, will be provided.
LOVE IT!