What next in my life? Need a little guidance.

davedudes

davedudes

davedudes

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Ok guys, I'll try and cut a long long story short:D. Over the past 10 years I've been on tablets for mental health problems (I call them minor inconveniences:D), plus numerous other tablets for epilepsy. I'm off of Olanzapine (antipsychotic to help with my mood) which I was on for about 7 years (stopped it about 5 months ago) and other mental meds, I'm still on epilepsy tabs still though.

In the 5 months I've lost 4 stone, started a Open University degree (looking to focus on physics), I have gained confidence and self-esteem that I never even thought I had in my entire life! I'm 36 and want to live and not just exist! I'm on benefits atm (ESA) and do not wish to be on them anymore, I would like friends a girl and more of everything.

I'm looking for a job; part-time to start off with, just to help with money, self-reliance and gain extra confidence.

I'm desperate to meet new people and do something more to enrich my new beginning, the thing is it's not happening quick enough! My family says I'm doing great, even my doctor, therapists and people I have not seen In many a year have said I'm a shadow of my former self and are amazed at my progress; I keep hearing, "take your time" from people, my thinking is, time taken to ponder (or procrastinate) about what I should do Is time wasted (dumb I know):D.

I've been out of the loop of living for many many years guys. I would be grateful if I could have some advice as to what you think would be the best next step? I know I am being a bit vague and it's impossible for you peeps to know what I'm thinking, but you never know; many heads are better than one after all;)

Sorry about the typing, grammar etc.

I await the wrath of the OcUK forum replies.

Cheers.

I'm off to bed.:)

TC
 
Chill out or if you can't and you need to do something why not do what the rest of us do and tinker with your PC.
 
You need a hobby. Why not sign up for something that doesn't detract too much time from your studies and go at it 100% :)

Getting out and meeting new people who share a similar love of something, can only help IMO.

Who knows, you may even find love. Good luck, sounds like you're motivated.
 
youve made fantastic progress, but what you crave next could shatter everything you have worked for, so take it slow.

people are a funny bunch as you know, in your years of medication you may have not been keeping up to speed with how to 'handle' people.

you may find if you rush in, you could get hurt and send youself into depressions etc.

take it slow dude, you will meet peeps through your degree, family etc

build it and they will come, you have started building..........
 
Firstly without sounding patronising, congratulations on the progress you have made, it must be an amazing feeling to look back at how far you have come :)

What I would do if I were in your shoes is first and foremost...find a job, like you say part-time at first. Make sure its a job dealing with people, one you interact with people regularly.

It'll be a good way to help build your confidence whilst you figure out what you want to do long time, it'll be a way of meeting new people and give you good exposure.

And then play it by ear from there :)
 
Just write down everything you enjoy and are passionate about and then do more of it.

Also, keep the body in good nick and the mind will follow. Don't rush back into employment until you know you're ready. Small steps and all that.
 
Don't worry about the speed at which things happen, these things always take time.

My situation is not as pronounced as yours, but possibly a little bit similar, and it's happened twice.

'it' being me putting myself back to what felt like square one.

I had real trouble at school, anxiety, school phobia, problem with authority, and it didn't go well. I left at 15 with no GCSEs. Then I made some progress, went to college, got a job, made a little progress, and ended up in quite a decent job.

Then I ****ed it up and had to pretty much start again, went back to 12k/year joe job.

Now after a few years I'm in a decent job again but it's taken me a couple of years in my current position to really feel like I'm making it work, right now I feel like I'm doing very well and it's all coming together.

I'm 28 years old and ok, maybe I feel like I'm a few years behind where I could have been if I hadn't ****ed up my entire life, twice no less, but age is just a number and I am where I am and I am happy.

I have been on and off anti-anxiety drugs and anti-depressants a few times and eventually came to the conclusion they weren't helping so came off them, but for a time they did help.

I'm really quite focused on my work now and although it does stress me out it gives me a purpose and I try to do my best, and it's finally starting to pay off and I really feel like I'm doing a good job, so I'm happy.

It's all about your position relative to where you were x amount of weeks/months/years ago, so try not to rush, don't compare yourself to other people that left school when you did (that's my downfall and I get super jealous of some people my age on £40k salaries with flash cars), because it doesn't matter - you are you and and you only have to be better than what you were last year.

And most of all you just have to be happy, so do whatever makes that happen.
 
rexehuk said:
Buy a dog.
Click to expand...

As ridiculous as it sounds, this may actually be a good thing. The dog will give you company, offer conversation topics with new people, get you out for walks, and their companionship can be quite therapeutic. If you feel up to taking care of a dog, that is.

Or for a more relaxed, casual relationship, get a cat. :D
 
Thanks for all the kind words guys, much appreciated!:cool:.

I think the bottom line is - I need to chill the hell out, not think too much and have fun.

I do now is push push push, it's a unique experience but quite cool too.:D
 
Good job OP! It's genuinely nice to read a read a thread about someone doing well!

Get a hobby to meet People and get out and have fun, good luck and genuinely hope you make the best of it mate.
 
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