What would you do? (relationship)

eddie86 said:
For the record, how anyone could hold religious beliefs over the happiness of themselves and someone they love is absolutely beyond my comprehension....
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ok two choices,

A)you can be miserable and follow my rules for a week, then the rest of your life i will make sure you get everything you could ever want.

B)you can be happy and defy me for a week, and i will personally make sure the rest of your life is full of pain and suffering.


This is essentially the basis of the Abrahamic religions.
 
naefeart said:
Ok, with all the new additional info I'm going to eat some humble pie and retract my previous post.

It's very bizarre but I was in the 'exact' same position, albeit much earlier in life than you.

I decided I would respect her religious values and wait. And wait. In the end, the onesided physical relationship really got to me. We parted ways eventually, mosty due to other reasons, but the physical side of our relationship was a factor.

Not long after she met another guy (whom I knew), he figured he could get her to leave behind her religion... and do you know what? He managed it. They married in the end, but he got to test drive first.

n
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I'm not going to try make her leave her faith. I just want her to realise that I have needs too I guess.

What is more important. Believing in a god that says you shouldnt have sex before marriage - but will forgive you if you do.

or the love of your life sitting on the edge of your bed at 1am wriggling in stomach cramp pain.

But as said, I'm letting her decide on that and if I can't do it anymore, then it wasn't meant to be and I am less of a man than I had hoped.

now to grab me some nougat on toast.
 
I would definately be out.

I went on a couple of 'dates' with girls, and as soon as I found out they were no sex before marriage, that was it, no more trying anything with them, pointless.

I like to think I have met the love of my life now - and well if our sex life wasnt as good as it is, I don't think I would feel like that. If it was any worse, then she wouldnt be my 'perfect' girl. Theres no way I would wait around till we get married to find out. I also have a very high sex drive, and its very important in our relationship. Would deffo need to make sure that part matches before getting married!!!
 
Tefal said:
ok two choices,

A)you can be miserable and follow my rules for a week, then the rest of your life i will make sure you get everything you could ever want.

B)you can be happy and defy me for a week, and i will personally make sure the rest of your life is full of pain and suffering.


This is essentially the basis of the Abrahamic religions.
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obviously he never met the thumbellion resistance!

A2Z said:
I would definately be out.

I went on a couple of 'dates' with girls, and as soon as I found out they were no sex before marriage, that was it, no more trying anything with them, pointless.

I like to think I have met the love of my life now - and well if our sex life wasnt as good as it is, I don't think I would feel like that. If it was any worse, then she wouldnt be my 'perfect' girl. Theres no way I would wait around till we get married to find out. I also have a very high sex drive, and its very important in our relationship. Would deffo need to make sure that part matches before getting married!!!
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I need to speak to her about it. I cant spend £15k on a wedding and then divorce because she didn't believe in sex before marriage. thats like saying "I don't believe in sex before spending money on marriage"

She's pretty awesome though.
 
Tefal said:
ok two choices,

A)you can be miserable and follow my rules for a week, then the rest of your life i will make sure you get everything you could ever want.

B)you can be happy and defy me for a week, and i will personally make sure the rest of your life is full of pain and suffering.


This is essentially the basis of the Abrahamic religions.
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A better way of controlling the masses may never be implemented, pure genius.
 
codec said:
I need to speak to her about it. I cant spend £15k on a wedding and then divorce because she didn't believe in sex before marriage. thats like saying "I don't believe in sex before spending money on marriage"

She's pretty awesome though.
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get her drunk and do a quickie wedding? :P
 
Nitefly said:
I find that madness, absolute madness. She basically will have no problems because she is getting everything at your expense. You should voice your issues and make her aware that the relationship is not on level pegging.
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You know what's going to happen don't you?

Give it a few weeks then codec will post "turns out she's been sleeping with some other guy all along" :(
 
The fact that she doesn't even touch you sexually apart from kissing probably means she just doesn't generally like sex, the religion thing is probably borderline an excuse.
 
codec said:
You've met the love of your life, your soul mate, the perfect opposite of you... but she was brought up a christian so no sex before marriage.... what would you do? stay or go?

Before anyone says I'm not being shallow, it's a big thing for me. A very big thing.
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The Bible says (2 Cor. 6:14) "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers". What's her view on marrying a non-Christian?
 
I have to agree that the lack of oral sex is weird. To me that changes it from not allowed to not wanting too. So what happens when she doesn't have the excuse? another one like "I am not in the mood".

Maybe she is a lezzer or just doesn't like sex. :p

I would be concerened, what happens if you get married and something like what Spawn said happens. She doesn't want to have sex at all.

You then have to get divorced and she will probably steal your money. Best to make sure you are compatable first with the amount of sex you need. even if it isn't full intercourse for now.

Sounds like you arn't.
 
codec said:
I've had no sex, no head, NOTHING throughout the relationship since I met her. And the fact that she is the love of my life is one thing, but the "but" in this situation is that my needs are a healthy sex life. Note that I used the word life. Because I don't want it for a week. I want it like that always. Do you honestly think anyone on this forum or any male for that matter would stick around for a girl that would have sex once a month when they wanted it 3 times a day? get real that's not gonna happen.
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I think the above answers your own question. You aren't going to know how her sex drive is until you are married. I think you know this can't work but it is too painful for you to admit it to yourself.

On the other hand, if I was in that position I think I would give it a go. If it didn't work out after marriage then divorce is the solution. If you really love her then you have to give it a go.
 
I'm surprised that so many people here would ditch a girl just because she wouldn't have sex with them before marriage. I'd much rather have a relationship without sex than no relationship at all.
 
Nanoman said:
The fact that she doesn't even touch you sexually apart from kissing probably means she just doesn't generally like sex, the religion thing is probably borderline an excuse.
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This would put severe worries in my head if I was in codec's position. He needs to talk to her about it, soon.
 
starfighter said:
I would be concerened, what happens if you get married and something like what Spawn said happens. She doesn't want to have sex at all.

You then have to get divorced and she will probably steal your money. Best to make sure you are compatable first with the amount of sex you need. even if it isn't full intercourse for now.

Sounds like you arn't.
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marriages can be annulled if one party refuses sex completely i believe.
 
jp_bl_68 said:
I'm surprised that so many people here would ditch a girl just because she wouldn't have sex with them before marriage. I'd much rather have a relationship without sex than no relationship at all.
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Then you're obviously not very picky ;) . I would say the exact opposite, I'd rather be single than in a relationship that I wasn't fully happy with. A good sex life is just one of many things I need/want in a relationship, but it is an important one none the less.
 
Nanoman said:
The fact that she doesn't even touch you sexually apart from kissing probably means she just doesn't generally like sex, the religion thing is probably borderline an excuse.
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Whats more likely is that her faith is conflicting with her emotions. By being the physical 'recipient' and not fully participating she has found a compromise that allows her to stay true to her beliefs.

n
 
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