Why I want to work for the Government?

Soldato
Joined
13 Dec 2006
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On the forest moon Endor
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, 'T-square, do your stuff.'
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Spreadsheet, do your stuff.' Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies. Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Measure, do your stuff.' Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass. Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, 'What can your cat do?'
The Government Employee called his cat and said, 'Coffee Break,do your stuff.' Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, **** on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

AND THAT'S WHY I WANT TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT.
 
Perhaps it is because anyone can do that, it isn't exclusive to people working in government or am i missing something.

If the "civil servants are all lazy useless gits who'll screw you over" stereotype has to be explained it loses something as a joke.

And from the same old jokes home.

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break.

The first one says: "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered."
The second surgeon says: "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.”
Third surgeon says: "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded."
The fourth one says: "I prefer English football fans. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and ***** are interchangeable.”
 
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