Wife constantly passed over for promotion

sx_turbo

sx_turbo

sx_turbo

Associate
Joined
10 Sep 2022
Posts
1,189
Location
essex
Hi all,

This one's going to be a long one so grab a cup of tea before you start.

Below is true and I'm not just bigging my wife up cos she's my wife, she's genuinely extremely good at what she does, my own company (different department to me) insist on only dealing with her because of how good she is, and she has a number of customers that will only deal with her and no one else, and gets the orders and quotes via phone email and WhatsApp.

My wife works at a motor factors and has been with the same company for the past 9 years.

Since she started the manager and assistant manager always thought less of her as she was a woman and she got on better with customers than they did, they consistently made a point of it, and was most cheesed off when she had the audacity to get pregnant and go on maternity leave. My wife did make a complaint to HR but that seemed to make matters worse as HR wasn't tactful and told the manager all about the complaint and told to sort it, and my wife was told that they spoke to the manager and they didn't have any concerns. This made the bullying slightly worse and she never complained again.

Eventually the assistant manager left and she applied for the job, she wasn't given any prep time just told an hour before "your interview will be at 10" as the area manager walked through the door, the area manager wanted my wife to have the job but the manager refused to have her and he would rather someone with no experience (this was later told to us when the area manager left), the area manager didn't push further as he didn't want to undermine the branch manager, anyway the assistant manager who left came back and took his old job after a couple of weeks.

A year or so later other members of staff were taken on and my wife was charged with training these new people. And then the assistant manager left once again.

My wife applied along with the other counter guy she trained and had been there for 6 months, the other guy was offered the job but didn't take it as he felt the extra money didn't justify the extra work load, and my wife was advised she didn't quite have enough experience and didn't even get an interview, the manager then employed his mate who had zero management experience and zero experience with regards to the job, and my wife was again tasked to train him (for a job she wasn't good enough for). Staff members from all other branches were shocked when she didn't get the job and don't understand it, the customers don't understand why she wasn't promoted (they hate the new guy as he's just utterly rubbish) other staff members in the branch don't understand either. The sales rep also feels the same and refuses to engage with the assistant manager because all the customers complain so much about him and he just doesn't have a clue, and instead gets my wife to do the customer lists and advise what customers he needs to see etc. my wife is also tasked with chasing accounts also due to her rapport with customers.

A job opportunity then came up at another branch, and the other branch phoned and said the area manager (different one to the one mentioned above) told him to phone to see if she was interested in the manager role their, she said yes and then emailed the area manager to express her interest, she got a reply advising he will come and have a chat with her, after 2 weeks she pushed him and he said oh you need to apply formally online, which she did immediately which by this point it was 3 days before the application close date. She then got a call on the closing day saying that the application was declined as it came in late and they had already offered the job to someone else and she didn't quite have enough experience. Which turned out to be a parts person at Halfords (not a manger or senior parts person), the area manager then said the next managerial job make sure you apply for it in plenty of time and inferred that the next managerial post that comes up she would get it. It later transpired that her manager kicked up a stink as he couldn't afford to not have her at his branch because of the figures she does (her figures are always at least 5x that of others, the assistant manager will do 1.5k a day and my wife is doing 7k plus all the warranties and the assistant manager duties except for the banking) and the rappor she has with the customers.

Anyway roll onto now and the manager left this time, the assistant manager doesn't want to move up and has no intention of moving up the career ladder, she want going to bother going for it as she said what's the point they will never promote me they have no intention of doing so. So I submitted her application for her. This time no formal interview, just a message to say I'll talk to you this week, then on the Friday about an hour from home time, gets asked can we have a chat, has a chat about life and a little bit about the job but nothing really formal, on the Monday the area manager walks in and says she's 90% there for the job but has offered the job to someone else. This time it's a manager from a competitor, he started a week later (Monday) it transpires the guy didn't have a branch to manage but he travelled to various branches as a relief manager when there was sickness, and low and behold my wife is having to teach him everything and he has seen how useless the assistant manager is and keeps bypassing him and discussing managerial matters with her and getting her thoughts on things.

Once again the customers are up in arms and don't understand why she isn't the manager, members of staff in the branch are the same and those from other branches say the same, and the sales manager is once again really annoyed and now refuses to also deal with the manager because in his words my wife is the only one there who knows what she's doing.

I've told her to just jack her job in, yes we'll be financially tight for a bit but will be temporary, she seems to fear leaving, she has this sense of duty to the company and her colleagues and customers (for why I don't understand) but I also feel.shes scared of leaving something she knows inside out.

I'm mostly fed up with her complaining about it all and never taking my advice.

I've probably missed a load of bits, but I can't help but feel there is a case here to potentially take to court.
 
Last edited:
Foghorn Leghorn said:
Sometimes we don't need advice, we just need somewhere to offload our frustrations, let her.

Sounds like she's had plenty of advice anyway she just needs something to trigger her to take the next step. From what you've written she should have jumped ship long ago.
Click to expand...

It gets tiring hearing the same complaints over again every day. At the end of the day she's the only one that can make any changes, it's to the point where she doesn't want to get up in the mornings and fears/dreads going into work, and it's taking a toll on other parts of our life, and there is a lot of frustration aimed at me as the punch bag so to speak, I also get told regularly that I should earn more so she doesn't have to work, and I'm not on a terrible wage (at least wasnt before COVID and inflation) but not quite enough for her to give up work and have all the other nicitiees in life, wed have to cut back on a lot( which she isnt willing to) She wants a different job but at the same time won't do anything about it and does reverse man maths as to why she shouldn't apply for a role elsewhere.

I guess I'm as frustrated with it as she is, my 7 year old rolls his eyes at the dinner table and says to her to leave lol

Even her therapist she sees every 2 weeks says she needs to leave for her own sanity
 
Last edited:
radderfire said:
No, she should not just quit. She is good at her job, she should NOT be the one to quit.

What talks in business, is the numbers. All those senior to her will know that she is creating most of the performance. This IS negotiation leverage.

What I would do probably, if I had reached the end of my patience with the company, is proactively say to the company that you think it is time you were given a promotion, but don't say you will quit if you don't get it. Just make the case with the numbers, describe how you are doing all the numbers, and creating all the performance, and that because of this you expect to progress within the company. Explain that you have had enough of getting passed over, and hint that you may need to start exploring other opportunities because making progress in your career is very important to you (but DON'T say you will quit). If necessary create a document making your case, and send it to the right people.

My view is that a business will respond and make promotions, if a good case is made to them and they feel in danger that they will lose the high performing staff. You have to give the hint that they might lose you, YET don't put yourself in a position where you feel obligated to quit if they don't promote you.

Once you have done this, you know you have done everything you can. If it doesn't work, you can then either stay put, or start exploring new opportunities. You cannot get fired for saying you deserve a promotion!! It shows that you take your career seriously. I think it is fair for her to expect to be evaluated on the basis of her performance.

Please note I don't have a huge amount of experience in this area, this is just my opinion of the best course of action, and it is free advice!!

Rgds
Click to expand...

She has done this twice now, the area manager did say this time that next time she'll definitely get it, but then no doubt this would change the next time it comes up.
 
SpellowHouse said:
In my humble experience, being good at your job has nothing to do with it. It always, always, comes down to how well you get on with the managers. It's the really good, hard working people who get overlooked. How they get on with the customers is irrelevant.
The real question is, is this the fault of your wife, or the managers? If it's her fault then she needs to start concentrating on impressing them, if it's the managers fault then she needs to move, because you ain't going nowhere if she doesn't get on with them.
Click to expand...

She never used to get on with her old manager, but no one did in the branch he would go out of his way to be mean to people, for example he used to refuse people's holidays and say it was because he was off even though the calendar was free he would then book the dates off and then cancel them at a later date, or say he'll look at the dates and take weeks, if you chased he would take longer, sometimes for short notice dates he would only approve them the end of the day before you wanted off, even other branch managers didn't like him and the area managers have traditionally loathed him.

The area manager however she does get on with where she made birthday cake for his daughter, and she takes haribos in for when he in the branch and he brings haribos in the branch for her, which used to annoy her old manager.
 
ristac said:
, does she really want promotion or is she going for it to appease you.
Click to expand...
She's complaining enough about not getting it so I'm pretty certain she wants it.

She has managed people before was a retail shop manager for a year before she was made redundant and the shop closed down
 
ICDP said:
My advice would be move. The emotional stress this company have caused your wife cannot and should not be ignored. Get out and work for somewhere else with a much better concept of employee satisfaction.

This may also be an option that is often overlooked, but what about retraining? Use the opportunity to retrain for a job that gives job satisfaction as well as decent salary.

I know someone who moved from a well paid job in accounting to train as a nurse. She did this in her 30s over 10 years ago and is delighted where she ended up in cardio getting immense satisfaction just helping people.
Click to expand...

She wants to work with kids, and was so close to getting a job at a nursery, but she then decided the pay cut was too much (despite me advising otherwise) and I would have to do the school drop off and collect from child minders. Which couldn't work, my job is flexible I can go in late and leave late or go in early and leave early but can't do both.

The child minders are sticklers aswell as they only work till 5. We would put him elsewhere but we are in. Village and there isn't any other choice
 
MissChief said:
The next time she's asked to train someone who's been brought in over her make sure she absolutely declines to do so as she 'is not a trainer and clearly isn't in a position to train a direct superior when she has been told she doesn't have the required level of experience to get the job.' She's being 'used' because it seems she doesn't kick up a fuss. As people have said above, there are other motor factors. Are there any local suppliers or local customers she deals with regularly that have vacancies? I'd imagine she'd kick ass at running a dealers parts and service department for example, or working in sales for a supplier. She has experience with parts and sales.
Click to expand...

Yeah I've said all this, she got a job at a mercedes truck dealer with decent hours and pay and then chickened out at the last minute.

The same job is being advertised again so I've said it might be worth trying again.... She's still unsure, in the mean time she still complains about her current situation,
 
sidimmu said:
Very simply, put her notice in to leave.
If they ask why, tell her to unload everything.

If they counter offer - they respect her and do not want her to leave
If they dont - they never had any plans for her and she should have triggered this event years ago.

Either way, she should still probably leave them for something new, as it will only be a matter of time before it all happens again. The same complaints will still ring, so a fresh start somewhere new might be better.
Click to expand...

Everything that's been said on this thread so far I've already said, least it's a sanity check for me that I'm saying the right things

She just doesn't seem to be able to make the jump she needs to make, she wants to, but can't quite get herself over the line.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom