work troubles grrr

[xirokx]

Hey,

Wondered if anyone could advice me...

On friday I walked out of work because:

Manager and I were speaking about invoices, and I asked whether I could give something a try, to which he replied "if it goes wrong, it will come out of your wages" - jokingly....so I was like "cool", then he turned around and said, " I want you to do it my way" in a very patronising, rude, condescending manner...

Its not the first time its happened like for example:

previously we had a meeting when I just started, I made some suggestions to which he replied "I need time to digest your thoughts and then consider how to put them into practice" and thereafter, again he said "I won't budge on this, we are going to do it my way"...I think it was because I said the part time person should not be responsible for responding to web queries as she only works weds, thurs, fri, so as the bulk of enquiries come in over the weekend theres too much of a delay in our response etc etc ....

Then I never said nothing, I just carried on, but friday he p**ed me off big time, so I just walked out and then phoned my MD and he told me "walking out is a big thing" , he would write to me and then give me a "probabtionary review" as I have been there since apr 17th 07...

Where do I stand? what do I do? was I wrong?

Please advise

Thanks in advance..

cheers

 

[vincent1989]

Hey,

Wondered if anyone could advice me...

On friday I walked out of work because:

Manager and I were speaking about invoices, and I asked whether I could give something a try, to which he replied "if it goes wrong, it will come out of your wages" - jokingly....so I was like "cool", then he turned around and said, " I want you to do it my way" in a very patronising, rude, condescending manner...

Its not the first time its happened like for example:

previously we had a meeting when I just started, I made some suggestions to which he replied "I need time to digest your thoughts and then consider how to put them into practice" and thereafter, again he said "I won't budge on this, we are going to do it my way"...I think it was because I said the part time person should not be responsible for responding to web queries as she only works weds, thurs, fri, so as the bulk of enquiries come in over the weekend theres too much of a delay in our response etc etc ....

Then I never said nothing, I just carried on, but friday he p**ed me off big time, so I just walked out and then phoned my MD and he told me "walking out is a big thing" , he would write to me and then give me a "probabtionary review" as I have been there since apr 17th 07...

Where do I stand? what do I do? was I wrong?

Please advise

Thanks in advance..

cheers

i'd say you cocked up big time, at the end of the day the decission making is down to your manager, if he decides his way is better, then smile and say yes, and when it goes **** up let him take the flak.

at this point in time, if of course your concerned for the saftey of your job, i'd consider a small amount of groveling, and make up a reason for leaving in a huff, family tragedy (one of my friends dads has died 5 times in this way ) or stress

 

[xirokx]

but what about democracy? surely he cant just pull rank every time in a very patronising, condescending and rude way??

 

[Vibez]

You were in the wrong I'm afraid mate, Clearly this managers leadership style is authoritarian rather than democratic and you need to respect that. At the end of the day you are below him and whatever he says goes. He doesn't seem to have acted unprofessionally, he is perfectly entitled to tell you to do it his way and reject your ideas/opinions if he so wants, he was just putting you in your place in a respectful professional manner. I'd definetely go back into work on Monday morning and apologize to your manager and your MD for your attitude and disruption and admit you stepped out of line, it won't happen again etc.

If you've walked out your MD is going to take your managers side anyway and the manager might not want you back, even if they refuse to have you back, apologize so they may give you a good reference

 

[vincent1989]

but what about democracy? surely he cant just pull rank every time in a very patronising, condescending and rude way??

he's the boss, he got the job for a reason. (even if he is a richard head)
there is no such thing as democracy in the work place.

 

[vincent1989]

apologize so they may give you a good reference

afaik they can't give a 'bad' one, but only ommit stuff

 

[xirokx]

so what your saying is that if your manager kept pulling rank on you then you would accept it? even though you knew he was chatting crap?? more importantly even if it was slowing the business down, hes just a temporary manager, nobody even likes him because he cant make a decision...which is besides the point...

why i walked out was because I couldnt accept the fact he was being so dam harsh, i was merely trying to get him to try something different, not do something illegal...i have never, ever, ever in 10 years of working come across such a "richard head" in all my life, and was not prepared to be spoken to like that...im not an "a**licker" i have the good of the company at heart and want things to improve etc but dont see why I should have to tolerate that...

I mean at the end of the day, any manager knows, you first hear a suggestion, then you find a weakness in it, so you dont say nooo directly or have to pull rank, its call professionalism, not just damn right NOOOOOOO lol

 

[xirokx]

he has the job as the manageress is away on maternity, he has not got the job on merit, but just as he was the second one whos been around the longest in that dept..lol

 

[vincent1989]

so what your saying is that if your manager kept pulling rank on you then you would accept it? even though you knew he was chatting crap?? more importantly even if it was slowing the business down, hes just a temporary manager, nobody even likes him because he cant make a decision...which is besides the point...

why i walked out was because I couldnt accept the fact he was being so dam harsh, i was merely trying to get him to try something different, not do something illegal...i have never, ever, ever in 10 years of working come across such a "richard head" in all my life, and was not prepared to be spoken to like that...im not an "a**licker" i have the good of the company at heart and want things to improve etc but dont see why I should have to tolerate that...

I mean at the end of the day, any manager knows, you first hear a suggestion, then you find a weakness in it, so you dont say nooo directly or have to pull rank, its call professionalism, not just damn right NOOOOOOO lol

almost lost my job because of doing similar, i believed the loss of wage+'bad' reference outweighed me knowing i was right, and he was wrong.

its your choice mate.

the way i see it is; as long as my company pay me, i don't give a crap if they are going downhill because of the managment

 

[xirokx]

the way i see it is; as long as my company pay me, i don't give a crap if they are going downhill because of the managment

thats where we differ my friend, i have and always will stand up for what i believe in and have gone and will continue to go the extra mile for any company which employs me, then your job isnt a job its something you enjoy and like, instead of going in at 9.00 spot on and leaving at 5.00 spot on , thats just a temporary mentality to me...i couldnt do it..

sure i cant afford to lose my job, its the principle of it, its just not *** you do blatently - pull rank like that, tell me to my face and think i will accept it lying down....its pathetic management, its not even management....

i appreciate your thought dude, its not what about what is right or wrong in my opinion but its the point and how you make it...

 

[vincent1989]

thats where we differ my friend, i have and always will stand up for what i believe in and have gone and will continue to go the extra mile for any company which employs me, then your job isnt a job its something you enjoy and like, instead of going in at 9.00 spot on and leaving at 5.00 spot on , thats just a temporary mentality to me...i couldnt do it..

sure i cant afford to lose my job, its the principle of it, its just not *** you do blatently - pull rank like that, tell me to my face and think i will accept it lying down....its pathetic management, its not even management....

i appreciate your thought dude, its not what about what is right or wrong in my opinion but its the point and how you make it...

i like doing my job, even if it is mindlessly scanning items through a till, dont get me wrong, i even enjoy it on occasion, i know the manager is often wrong, im sick of seeing him slack off while we do all the work, and im sick of seeing him in the canteen every 20 minutes for another 20 minute break.
but i just want to keep my head down and get on with my job.

you're in the wrong here as it stands, even as your acting manager he has more authority than you do, you could have just shut up and let him get on with it untill the 'real' manager got back from leave, but you chose not to, and i fail to see why you then complain about it on a forum hoping to gain sympathy, either take the advice, or be prepared to search for another job, at this moment in time he would have every right to fire you, you have been disrespectful, 'mouthy' arrogant (yes i know he has to, but that doesnt matter) and you have walked out of your place of work.

the balls in your court now.

 

[xirokx]

ive been disrespectful - erm what about him?

arrogant - again what about him?

do you even know about equal opportunities?

i am not after sympathy dude, im after advice from general public who similarly i firmly believe would not stand for this...

just a word of advice, had martin luther king, gandhi gone for ** advice I wonder how their countries would have been - i dont mean that disrespectfully...

its like saying where you see injustice you should just accept, im sorry i beg to differ,

 

[JRS]

ive been disrespectful - erm what about him?

Doesn't matter, he outranks you given that he's your manager.

arrogant - again what about him?

See above.

do you even know about equal opportunities?

Heh, that's so cute. You actually believe they exist

i am not after sympathy dude, im after advice from general public who similarly i firmly believe would not stand for this...

just a word of advice, had martin luther king, gandhi gone for ** advice I wonder how their countries would have been - i dont mean that disrespectfully...

its like saying where you see injustice you should just accept, im sorry i beg to differ,

"Injustice"? Over-react much?

It's not exactly on the level of what MLK and Ghandi were up against is it? So a manager decided not to take your advice and was a bit snotty about it. Wow. I'm stunned. I really am. Because that sort of thing doesn't happen all across the world every day, does it?

Oh, wait....

The whole point of management is not to take advice from other people. Otherwise, what would they do all day if they didn't make unimportant decisions like "lets keep doing what we're doing right now"? Whichever way you look at it, you over-reacted by buggering off in a huff over it. And given that you're still in your first year of employment with them, they'd be well within their rights to send you packing for being such a drama queen.

 

[vincent1989]

ive been disrespectful - erm what about him?

arrogant - again what about him?

doesnt matter, he has more authority, who are they more likely to come down on, the guy who's currently an acting manager, or a new starter who is acting like a spoiled brat?

do you even know about equal opportunities?

yup, but you are not his equal, even if it is for the time being

i am not after sympathy dude, im after advice from general public who similarly i firmly believe would not stand for this...

you have 2 options, either do your job, how your manager tells you, or leave, if you believe this firmly, then you only have one option, i dont think you need help chosing

just a word of advice, had martin luther king, gandhi gone for ** advice I wonder how their countries would have been - i dont mean that disrespectfully...

the difference is, theirs was about an injustice, and a society spanning prejudice which encompassed the lives of millions, once again, you're just throwing your toys out your pram because your boss doesnt do what you want him to do.

its like saying where you see injustice you should just accept, im sorry i beg to differ,

like i've said, you don't have to, you always have the option of leaving

i really find it hard to believe im having this much trouble trying to get someone ten years my supperior to understand life in the workplace, when this could be comprehended by a ten year old

 

[xirokx]

doesnt matter, he has more authority, who are they more likely to come down on, the guy who's currently an acting manager, or a new starter who is acting like a spoiled brat?

right so if a copper stopped you and spat at you, its fine as they have more authority?

yup, but you are not his equal, even if it is for the time being

erm thats totally besides the point, the equal opporunties act is not there for equal ranking staff to use, its for everyone IRRESPECTIVE of RANK...hmmm

the difference is, theirs was about an injustice, and a society spanning prejudice which encompassed the lives of millions, once again, you're just throwing your toys out your pram because your boss doesnt do what you want him to do.

- you missed the point, the point is doing something when injustice is being served, whether its for millions or for 1...

Heh, that's so cute. You actually believe they exist

I must have been dreaming when I see / read about individuals taking their firm to industrial tribunals for being treated malignantly and not in accordance to equal opportunities..

The whole point of management is not to take advice from other people. Otherwise, what would they do all day if they didn't make unimportant decisions like "lets keep doing what we're doing right now"? Whichever way you look at it, you over-reacted by buggering off in a huff over it. And given that you're still in your first year of employment with them, they'd be well within their rights to send you packing for being such a drama queen

. sure, yeh 1910's management perhaps, its not the point of doing it his way,nobody throws their toys out of the pram for being a dull robot do they?? the point was the way he has chosen to speak to me on two occasions now which quite frankily somebody else would have smacked him in the mouth over and especially as I see him speaking to me on the level when he needs ideas or ways to dig himself out of a hole...also the way he speaks to others when he disagrees with them....the point is attutide and professionalism, not pull rank...a managers job is to delegate, listen, have "MAN MANAGEMENT" skills, be firm but not have tantrums at you for something he knows deep inside is right...especially in the past when he has told me " my suggestions are great for the firm etc, but he needs time to think them through" - its like in other words, im sorry im not fast thinker like you, just let me catch up yeh ...lmfao....

 

[bigredshark]

umm, he's your boss, you do what he says. Doesn't matter what you think of it or anything else, don't like it? then leave or complain to his boss.

Walking out was a damn stupid thing to do, given you've been there 2 months and they can fire you for any reason they see fit pretty much while your on probation. Companies are different but I know where I work, given the short length of service, you'd be fired for that.

Looking at it form his point of view, being a stand in manager is a horrible job as you aren't sure if you're covering everything and you know any mistakes will reflect very badly on you. Given this I'd say asking for it to be done his way is pretty understandable, it's never going to come back and bite you if you make a mistake (not having been there for 2 months anyway) but it could easily be blamed on him not supervising/training people enough.

I'm not technically in a management position but I know I often get on the nerves of guys where I work by insisting everything is done to my specs and in the order I want, tested at every stage etc. I do it because I know I can't afford a single mistake in the final solution screw ups reflect on me not them. Being nice helps and 95% on the time I am, but there are friday afternoon's when it's a case of 'I'm the systems architect and you're bloody tech support so do it the way I tell you!'. Not nice but I do a stressful job and I get in a mood sometimes.

Maybe you just caught the guy at a bad time. In the end though, even if he's like that all the time, chill out and do the job, it's not democracy, it's a business. Complain to his manager if it gets too much and aspire to working for a cuddly fluffy company like google but getting mad just gets you fired.

 

[Vibez]

You seem to be taking the equal opportunities legislation way out of context. It is there primarily to ensure that everyone regardless of gender and race has the same opportunity for employment/promotion based on ability rather than discrimination.

There is no legislation specifying you are entitled to tell your superior how to do his job and he must listen to all of your ideas.

You're not employed to tell the manager things, you just do as he says and that's that whether you agree with it or not and the sooner you realise this the better.

No offence but you really seem to lack any common sense and knowledge of how businesses operate

 

[vincent1989]

right so if a copper stopped you and spat at you, its fine as they have more authority?

thats totally different to the situation your describing, in your drama society your boss has more authority than you to make decissions, he is not spitting on you

erm thats totally besides the point, the equal opporunties act is not there for equal ranking staff to use, its for everyone IRRESPECTIVE of RANK...hmmm

is that not for everyone to have an equal opportunity for access to a job, ie regardless of race/sexuality/gender, as far as i can tell your manager isnt infringing on any of these

- you missed the point, the point is doing something when injustice is being served, whether its for millions or for 1...

shut up martin luther the third, reform isnt about you, you have some serious growing up to do if you think injustice is having your ideas rejected

I must have been dreaming when I see / read about individuals taking their firm to industrial tribunals for being treated malignantly and not in accordance to equal opportunities..

yes, either because they are being homophobic, racist, sexist, ageist etc


dude, get a grip, this kind of thing happend to thousands of people every day, they don't all flip out like they are being descriminated against, this is life, life isn't fair, if it were fair we'd all be communists but then no work would be done because no one would want a worse job than someone else

 

[bigredshark]

erm thats totally besides the point, the equal opporunties act is not there for equal ranking staff to use, its for everyone IRRESPECTIVE of RANK...hmmm

...and stop! you need to actually read about the equal oppurtunities act and understand the concept. It's so you can't be discriminated against in terms of race, sex, religion or virtually anything else in respect to getting a promotion, pay rise or job to start with.

You have absolutely no right in a business to have management listen to you opinions. That simply doesn't exist in law anywhere. The nearest thing to that is communism!

and because you're on probation, you've virtually no rights if they fire you!

 

[zobby]

You seem to be taking the equal opportunities legislation way out of context. It is there primarily to ensure that everyone regardless of gender and race has the same opportunity for employment/promotion based on ability rather than discrimination.

There is no legislation specifying you are entitled to tell your superior how to do his job and he must listen to all of your ideas.

You're not employed to tell the manager things, you just do as he says and that's that whether you agree with it or not and the sooner you realise this the better.

No offence but you really seem to lack any common sense and knowledge of how businesses operate

I agree, I'm surprised that you've managed to work for 10 years with an attitude like this. You need to learn some humility and realise that a manager is above you in the food chain!

The other option is of course to leave and find something else. However in my experience of work I don't think you'll ever find a job that allows you to throw your toys out of the pram at the drop of a hat.