Worst car I've ever driven

[Rilot]

Today I had to drive my mate's wife's car. A (so she says) wonderful Vauxhall Corsa 1.4 LS Automatic.

This thing is so slow it is actually dangerous. Accellerating off a roundabout from say 20mph took an absolute age to get to 60mph. Cars behind were so close and I could see they were thinking "come on, put your foot down". I did however have my foot to the floor.

I would estimate the 0-60 on this 1994, 50k mile example to be around 30 seconds.

So, next time you get annoyed that the doddery old bat in the Corsa in front of you isn't putting her foot down. Just think, she might have her foot to the floor.

 

[Rilot]

The auto box lever had a button on the top marked "S". I'm guessing this is for "sport" mode. Hoever it should have been marked "L" for "louder" as that was the only noticable effect when it was pressed.

 

[Rilot]

It actually means ****.

Ahha, surely "****ter" would have been more accurate?

 

[Rilot]

It could be worse. I had a 1.0 12v version as a holiday hire car one year...

If it was a manual, it isn't worse.
Remember this weedy 1.4 is driving a torque converter and a heavy 3-speed auto box around.

 

[Rilot]

The Cooper 'S' ceased production in 1971, but I know what you're getting at!
The 998 is quite rightly 38bhp, the 1275 engine stopped production in 1980 with the 1275GT, which had a factory figure of 59bhp. The 1275 'S' engines were slightly higher thanks to twin carbs and a higher flow cylinder h

Minis come with the following redeeming features: Charm, snappy throttle response, skateboard handling, smiles.
The Corsa has none of these. Even the manual version must be pants.

How anyone (even a 17 year old) can own one of these and claim it to be a decent car is utterly beyond me.

 

[Rilot]

My parents have an 06 Corsa SXi 1.2 twinport as a second car. It isn't all that bad. Its got 80 PS which isn't bad for a 1.2, 0 - 60 about 11.8 seconds.

http://www.parkers.co.uk/cars/specs/Detail.aspx?deriv=28929

As people keep pointing out, that car and modern Corsas are a far cry from the older ones. The one I drove was 12 years older than yours.

 

[Rilot]

Rubbish. I had a '96 1.4 16v Corsa as my first car about 5 years ago. Wasn't fast by any means but certainly nippy. My mum has the '06 1.2 SXi and my old Corsa could've thrashed the pants off it. New 1.2 Corsas are slow as ****.

The only reason the Corsa the OP mentions is so slow is because of a) the auto gearbox, and b) the horrible Vauxhall 8v engines which are renowned for being absolutely abysmal in every respect.

Huh?
I am the OP
Corsas are still junk no matter what you say. They are silly little cars for people who either: A) Can't drive properly or B) Can't afford a proper car.
I'm sure the Corsa I drove would have been much better with a manual 'box but better than down right awful is still pretty terrible.

 

[Rilot]

So which am I? I drive ~40k miles a year, and I also own a 1978 Saab 99 Turbo as a fun car.

I own a corsa because it's very cheap to run and very reliable. It's a capable car that does exactly what I need.

By the way it's a 1.2 8v base model (so no glove box lid, oh no!). The only downside of it is the paint fades.

I guess in your case if economy and reliability are the ONLY considerations then sure, a Corsa is probably a fine car.

I have a different perspective on cars to most people. If economy transport is all thats required, a cheap motorcycle is the order of the day. If I want to travel in comfort then a large car with a sizeable engine is my preferred method of transport.

I find the whole concept of a small car to be unfathomable. If you need 4 wheels then surely something that makes the most of the road space makes more sense?

 

[Rilot]

It's true, the amount of times when I was on my placement somebody made a comment about my car and then moaned they 'couldnt afford one like it' when they almost invariably drove new or nearly new Corsas, Fiestas etc all of which cost them more to buy than mine did

It comes from people who are so mechanically inept they verge on paranoid.
People who buy a new Corsa would never buy a BMW such as yours as they would be forever terrified that it would go wrong being over 3 years old.

I had someone at work comment that my 05 Lexus is now 3 years old and was I going to change it as it will probably start to go wrong now.

My mother is in the same mindset. She commented that the Audi A8 I had before the Lexus was "a bit old" (3 years) and why didn't I buy a nice new car like her's (1.1 Fiesta base model).

You'd be surprised about the amount of people who honestly belive that an 08 plate, brand new Corsa is a better car and has more prestige than a 05 plate 7-series.

Oh and just a general thread statement.

0-60 time isn't everything, and if you think driving a corsa is bad, you shuold try a beetle with only aroud 45bhp, tyres that weigh more than a passenger and suspension a foot above the ground.

Yeah but the smiles per mile in a Beetle massively outweigh the abysmal performance.
I have no issue with slow cars as long as they have some redeeming features to make up for it.

Some slow cars that I would be happy to own:

VW bus
Beetle
MK3 Cortina 1.6
Mini
etc.

They all have charm and appeal beyond their "performance".