I'm in a big dilemma: my girlfriend of 4 months is in love with me, but I am not in love with her. I love having her: the girl who gets me, with wonderfully outgoing personality, great in bed, with lots of common interests and totally easy-going. I feel like I've known her for ages, and I feel like she's my best friend.
However, physically she's not quite right for me: not tiny, overweight by at least 15lbs, moon-faced, older by 4 years. My ideal would be all her personality traits but in a tiny girl (the kind I could lift in my arms)
We had the talk about our relationship twice: the first time about 2 months in: she admitted she is "utterly and completely into me", and I could only say that "I didn't love her yet". She told me that I can't possibly love her only 2 months, and she wants to keep dating. Another episode came after this weekend: she said straight out she loved me, and I said I still didn't. She broke down, but in the morning re-approached me, kissed and hugged. This moved me, and to make her happy I said I loved her. She said she feels like I'm just settling for her, which I think is true: I have a history of sticking to things I don't like, like college, occupation, etc. Basically forcing myself to like what I have, but hating it anyway
The question is: will I ever be able to fall in love with her? how can one make oneself fall in love? how will I know I'm in love? will breaking up with her based on my feeling of "not being in love" be a smart thing to do? or should i keep trying to fix my attitude while still dating her?
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