Your pet peeves at work?

adolf hamster said:
people steaing my goddamn sauces!!!
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Had that with ketchup I used to keep in the fridge, half bottle went missing over the course of a week (It was labelled as 'Sams - Please ask if you want some').
Took home, refilled with ketchup mixed with dragons blood chilli sauce (Naga pepper sauce - very very hot), I like the mix.... Whoever stole didnt, hasnt been touched since even if it is just ketchup again now.

Teams buy their own milk here, and again we have issues with milk theft. Adding a drop of green food dye didnt work (it got binned) so we now keep our teams milk in a thermos.

Its easy really, if it isnt yours, dont take it.
 
Simple (I'm assuming someone has already mentioned this) - business-speak/buzzwords. I have one boss whose every other word is one of these and despite making him sound like a pretentious arse and having the **** taken out of himself for it regularly, still continues to do it.

Nothing just gets 'done' - it has to be 'actioned' instead.

The perfectly-sufficient phrase 'in future' has been subjugated by 'going forward'.

Every job is 'briefed out to the team', which in practise means it's dumped on one individual, becomes their sole responsibility, and they are then expected to remember every aspect of that job from now until the end of time.

My absolute hatred of this almost boils over whenever he tells one of us to 'ping' someone an email - I usually reply that I don't recognise the verb 'to ping', but I'd be quite happy to just 'send' an email instead.
 
Adnams Drinker said:
The perfectly-sufficient phrase 'in future' has been subjugated by 'going forward'.
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I actually don't mind "going forward" as it's a good way of denoting that for all occurrences, all the time, every time etc. this 'thing' will happen. If you say "in the future" it doesn't quite mean the same. My girlfriend hates "long story short" but again, I can't think of a clearer way of saying that...

I have a new toilet-related one. What about the people that come out of the cubicles and walk straight out the door :confused: :mad: Disgusting cretins. You have to go through two doors out of our loos, then two more into the office floor. I don't want to touch all the handles you've just touched after having a **** and not washing your hands :mad::(
 
Flipflops
Shorts
People wandering about while on conference calls
Sending me an email, leaving me voicemail to say they've sent me an email, then IMing to say they've left a VM.
People who shouldn't be allowed near spreadsheets.
 
Scam said:
I have a new toilet-related one. What about the people that come out of the cubicles and walk straight out the door :confused: :mad: Disgusting cretins. You have to go through two doors out of our loos, then two more into the office floor. I don't want to touch all the handles you've just touched after having a **** and not washing your hands :mad::(
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THIS!! The amount of people I see who use the cubicles, or even the urinals and not wash their hands annoys me so much.

We have a two-door system to the bogs as well (one that opens inwards, the other opens outwards). I'd rather not have to touch the ******/pissy door handles to exit. Not to mention the other doors around the building.

I'm glad I've got a litre bottle of hand sanitising gel on my desk, which reminds me...I need to get some more.
 
Everybody acting like they are the hardest working MF who ever lived when I know they spend a lot of their days doing non-work related stuff.
 
There's also a guy I've had the (dis)pleasure of being at the urinal/in the loos at the same time. This is no exaggeration, but after doing his business at the urinal he shakes for at least 30secs. It's really disconcerting :confused: It doesn't sound that long, but count that out in your head whilst imagining tidying up after a #1 -- it's a complete lifetime. Once I was in a cubicle and just heard the rattle of his belt/coins/something going on for 20-30secs.. I thought someone was erm.. enjoying themselves at the urinals :( I mean, wtf is that all about?!
 
J.T said:
Everybody acting like they are the hardest working MF who ever lived when I know they spend a lot of their days doing non-work related stuff.
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Conversely the laziest people who are in the complete belief that everyone else is lazier than themselves and anyone who appears more productive is just better at making it look like they are doing something :(
 
Big one for me is people who won't put the effort in and then get snarky when those that do see the benefits of doing it.

When I'm busy I'll stay until the job gets done, which sometimes means long, difficult periods doing more hours than I should. Because of that my work is generally delivered on time and to a reasonable standard. On the flip side I'll think nothing of taking time out of the office to deal with anything that comes up, or if I've been in the office until 8pm the night before I'll stroll in at 10am the next day - for me its just simple give and take. This attitude has really served me well the last few years, and the total value of my package has jumped by around 75% in the last 18 months.

We have plenty of people in the office that will start at 9am and finish at 5pm, no matter what they have on their plate. You're waiting for them to finish something? Tough luck, they're going at 5, they're on holiday tomorrow so you might get it Thursday, deal with it. These guys start complaining that their bonus doesn't match up to mine, that they are getting pulled for being late when I get away with it... but if you work for a good employer who will recognise extra effort what is the benefit of just working to your hours?
 
malachi said:
You be surprised. I have visited some peoples houses and they are just DIRTY!!!! Especially when they have pets in the house.
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Amen to that, if you're a manky scutz at work chances are your house is a mess, or you have a partner who cleans up
after you.

Yeah, the excess shaking thing, as you get older your pipework isnt as
efficient as it once was, a couple of shakes was enough to empty the
trouser snake, but some older men retain and leak
a few drops of pee after they've put percy back in the pantage.
Most annoying.

So maybe this guy was squeezing the last drop out.
 
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MatsyLR said:
The constant "charity" buckets.
Multiple times a week someone will come round with a bucket for some charity (changes all the time) they go round every single desk and stand there till you say "No thanks" or give them a quid. They make you feel incredibly guilty, if you say you have no change, they say can you go to the cash point? You have to tell them no multiple times...
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Give nothing to charities unless the CEO is on LESS than 100k a year!

My work pet peeve is the outsourced IT team that when they finally have time for you they connect remotely then google the problem you've told them about and leave the windows open for you to see once they've finally sorted it.
 
GIBURROWS said:
Give nothing to charities unless the CEO is on LESS than 100k a year!

My work pet peeve is the outsourced IT team that when they finally have time for you they connect remotely then google the problem you've told them about and leave the windows open for you to see once they've finally sorted it.
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well isn't that a smart thing to do? show you that you could have solved the problem yourself using google
 
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