People like the OP and his GF make me realize why I have lost faith in all of humanity.
I swear the older I get the more dumber and bone idle people are becoming especially at reading some of his responses.
Hope the cat craps all over your house before you take it to be re-homed.
Do yourself a favor, don't ever own a pet ever again, animals are just not for you and your GF as you have no idea what it actually means to own a pet. You are responsible for that pets well being for the rest of its life, its adopted you as its parents and you had the responsibility of loving and caring for it whilst it resides with you. I see that you've had your five minutes of fun with the cat and now your GF is bored with it so wants to get rid. I just hope for your cats sake that it ends up with a better owner than its current pair of air breathers.
The kids are scared to death of her because its highly likely the kids did something to her so she now protects herself against them.
Unfortunately you can't train/retrain cats into choosing a suitable time for them to go out. Especially if they are quite old. Don't worry about it being cold cats don't feel the cold as much as humans do and are far more adapted to cope with cold weather than we are. Unlike dogs cats are completely independent and they chose when they want to go out. You could install a cat flap with a timer on it but judging how you describe your cat its likely i will make her more annoyed with you then she currently is. Cats are sociable animals, if you spend little to no time interacting and socializing with them they don't gain much respect from you. If you want her to be cool around your children, I would suggest you gets some cat treats and let the kids give them (1-2 treats a day) to the cat. Make sure you are their to supervise. whilst the cat is chomping down on the treats get the kids to stroke her and start making this a routine. Eventually your cat will warm to the kids. Cats generally dont like little kids as they are full of noise. Above all spend more time with your cat to assure it that it is safe, and you will see a change in his/her behaviour.
I bet you are great to have a pint with.
