Soldato
Yes I’m from Leicester. But that letter isn’t me. More more younger customers are getting peeved off by antics of retired shoppers.
**The Mental Health Thread**
- Thread starter Gabbatek
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- mental health
Soldato
yeah i think the only reason i found that article is i also had the Deja vu vibe going on so googled the post and that's actually the first result ,may find out for myself though as been looking at some retail jobs to keep me ticking over, don't fancy the tills though, all that small talk and rude people would happily stack some shelves at silly o clock though a few days a week
Caporegime
How dare you blame your mental health issues on pensioners doing a bit of shopping. They have a right to shop whenever they wish, not at your choosing. If you can’t handle a few moaning pensioners then I’d strongly suggest you’re in the wrong job.
If I were of pensionable age and retired, I would much rather shop during midweek when the supermarket was virtually deserted rather than the hustle and bustle of a weekend which can be the only chance people who are working get a chance. Maybe its just a case of ignorance on the part of the pensioners who haven't worked it out, or maybe they just really enjoy wasting their time queuing to go down isles come a weekend as they haven't got much else to do.
Associate
I wish that working people would shop in the evening when the supermarkets are still open instead of annoying elderly people on Saturdays!
Associate
Geez get a life!
Soldato
It’s everyone - customers and shop workers who are getting fed up with the rudeness of the older customers. Some are indeed lovely.
Plus it’s only the older customers who still think it’s ok to hold money and lottery tickets in their mouths. A totally disgusting habit even before Covid days
Soldato
Then get some customers who queue at the kiosk to buy a newspaper- want a receipt as buying groceries!
99% of customers put their papers with the grocery shopping.
I suggested to those who do the former that others pay for their papers with their shopping. These weren’t bothered.
Soldato
I'm facing a decision. Due to me making impulsive decisions I've sold my house and had an offer accepted on another. It's keeping me awake at night. My current location is nice but I don't really know anyone and I have difficulty in putting myself out there. New location is busier and slightly more expensive. Have some friends In that location but they have they're own lives. I'm torn on what to do. One minute I'm saying don't do it the next yes do it.
Not sure how it will effect my mental health as the problem will be me still there. Will have a little more support there. I'm so unsure which way to go
Not sure how it will effect my mental health as the problem will be me still there. Will have a little more support there. I'm so unsure which way to go
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Associate
Supermarkets are open till 10pm most days, so working people have loads of time in evenings to go.
I normally go 8pm on a Monday. Nice and quiet then.
Hmm it is a tricky one. I'm in a similar predicament in that I want to move and the only places I can afford are going to be a couple of hours away from my mum. One of my sister's would be an hour 15 mins away (a little closer than how far she is from me now and with trains it would be shorter) I alternate between thinking "am I being silly to move away from family" to "maybe some distance will help because i dont get the support anyway"
Ultimately for me I know that moving out from where I am will make me happier but it's that risk of moving somewhere else and still not being happy.
I guess the questions to ask yourself are what made you decide that area in the first place? Is it because you want to be closer to friends and have that support network? Although it's a little more expensive do you think you could be happier there? Yes, friends do have their own lives but if they're decent friends they'll make time to catch up with you as well
There is supposedly a way to determine what you want deep down. You flip a coin and if you feel disappointed at the way it lands then it apparently indicates what you truly wanted.
Soldato
Now you see, I am of pensionable age and shop every day by bicycle. This has several advantages. It means I am still fairly physically fit, it is good for MY mental health, I get fresh food every day and finally I may outlive you into the bargain.
Soldato
i actually looked at the online paperwork today, totally triggered a panic attack, spent the afternoon crying and driving around and around, FFs im 51 and i feel like a act like a baby at times, i really want to run away from it all, and actually im in a postition i could do thatHmm it is a tricky one. I'm in a similar predicament in that I want to move and the only places I can afford are going to be a couple of hours away from my mum. One of my sister's would be an hour 15 mins away (a little closer than how far she is from me now and with trains it would be shorter) I alternate between thinking "am I being silly to move away from family" to "maybe some distance will help because i dont get the support anyway"
Ultimately for me I know that moving out from where I am will make me happier but it's that risk of moving somewhere else and still not being happy.
I guess the questions to ask yourself are what made you decide that area in the first place? Is it because you want to be closer to friends and have that support network? Although it's a little more expensive do you think you could be happier there? Yes, friends do have their own lives but if they're decent friends they'll make time to catch up with you as well
There is supposedly a way to determine what you want deep down. You flip a coin and if you feel disappointed at the way it lands then it apparently indicates what you truly wanted.
ultimatly i know im looking for company, at home and with friends
and after 15 years today is the closest ive come to drinking
Soldato
- Joined
- 17 Jan 2006
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I'm really struggling today. My relationship ended at the end of November and left me devastated but I've tried to pick myself up and get on with life. Christmas really hard but I've reached out to the two friends I have and they were supportive and lovely. At the end of January I saw my ex when I dropped her stuff back to her and picked up my stuff and we had a long heart to heart and parted very sad but ok.
I've join MeetUp and been along to some pub quizzes and such and met a few nice people, none I would say friends as yet but it's nice to get out of the house. I've been working hard in my job and in my counselling placement - - which in particular has been going well and I've seen real progress in my clients and I've grown in confidence with it.
But today I just feel so desperately lonely.
I've join MeetUp and been along to some pub quizzes and such and met a few nice people, none I would say friends as yet but it's nice to get out of the house. I've been working hard in my job and in my counselling placement - - which in particular has been going well and I've seen real progress in my clients and I've grown in confidence with it.
But today I just feel so desperately lonely.
It sounds like you've made some real progress in moving forward since the split but even with things on the up there will always be an off day
But that's OK. Try not to read into it too much.
I think it's just about learning what you need to do to help ease that feeling of loneliness.
For me in the past if I was feeling really down I'd be constantly battling with myself thinking that it was wrong to feel like that and forcing myself to get up early, be active etc but end up not achieving anything and by the end of the day feeling no better. then the next day I'd feel the same.
Now, if I'm feeling really down, I let myself have that one day to just do nothing. I might laze about reading or just watch TV all day. I ignore all the chores. Eat some chocolate or order a takeaway. But I tell myself this is just one day. Tomorrow I have to get up, dust myself off and carry on. And it seems to work.
Although I still have moments of feeling down they aren't as bad and they're fewer and farther between now. And now my mindset has adjusted slightly and I might say "ok today I'll tackle these 3 tasks this morning and then I'm going to have a lazy afternoon."
Maybe you could go for a walk or take yourself to the cinema? Or take a drive somewhere and grab some lunch.
Would any of the people you've met through meet up want to do something perhaps?
Soldato
- Joined
- 17 Jan 2006
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- 4,229
Loneliness is such a trigger for me, I've been trying in therapy to work out quite why it is but it holds so much over me. So many feelings of worthlessness and isolation, feeling like no one values me or cares about me; a complete lack of being important to anyone.
I know it's not true, my parents care in their own completely practical way, my son cares greatly but he's 12 and trying to find his way the world so naturally I'm not a priority (and neither should I be) but them aside there is no one who I feel cares, no one who checks in to see how I'm doing, no one who is thinking of me. I really loved that when I was with me ex, she was thinking of me and knew it and I felt loved and cared for. Now I feel like if I ceased to exist, besides my family, no one would even notice, and I find that so hard.
I've got a couple of things I want to do today (including writing a proposal for a men's mental health cafe I want to set up with the counselling agency I have a placement at) and I'm going to a MeetUp for cocktails anf karaoke this evening (which I'm a tad anxious about as I will only know 1 maybe two people who are going) so I know it'll be ok today but I just can't shake that feeling of loneliness.
I also started talking to someone online trying to find some to connect with and just feel incredibly guilty because I still love and miss my ex so much.
I know it's not true, my parents care in their own completely practical way, my son cares greatly but he's 12 and trying to find his way the world so naturally I'm not a priority (and neither should I be) but them aside there is no one who I feel cares, no one who checks in to see how I'm doing, no one who is thinking of me. I really loved that when I was with me ex, she was thinking of me and knew it and I felt loved and cared for. Now I feel like if I ceased to exist, besides my family, no one would even notice, and I find that so hard.
I've got a couple of things I want to do today (including writing a proposal for a men's mental health cafe I want to set up with the counselling agency I have a placement at) and I'm going to a MeetUp for cocktails anf karaoke this evening (which I'm a tad anxious about as I will only know 1 maybe two people who are going) so I know it'll be ok today but I just can't shake that feeling of loneliness.
I also started talking to someone online trying to find some to connect with and just feel incredibly guilty because I still love and miss my ex so much.
Soldato
your doing more than i do , i really need to join a meet up or maybe the man down groups here, i would say i speak from zero to 2 sentence's a week person to person, the majority is phone to parents watts app vid family calls to my kids and ex
edit/ a lot is self inflicted isolation, some living in a rural location some fear of being hurt badly again, some thinking i would add no value to a group of people
edit/ a lot is self inflicted isolation, some living in a rural location some fear of being hurt badly again, some thinking i would add no value to a group of people
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I dont know about your work situation but if you have a lot of spare time where you are lonely in the day, then maybe consider working part time for a busy charity shop.
You will have people come in and chat your ear off, it might balance our your life more so that the lonely periods wont be as bad.
Sorry to hear that, I've been through painful breakup too and it does leave scars. Don't undersell yourself on whether you can add value to a group of people, I'm sure you could. I bet you have life experience (for example just from your post the experience of a breakup) that others could relate to, and I bet you have hobbies/interests that some others will share. Have you got any old friends or aquaintances that you haven't had contact with for a long time? Might be worth considering reaching out however long it's been. Be kind to yourself.
More support if you're feeling isolated will help a lot. More interaction will help you talk about more things and reduce your anxiety but make sure you can afford to make the move and you won't be in trouble in a few years (enough though you may be in a better mindset to handle it)