Friend - GF Problem

neil3k

neil3k

neil3k

Soldato
Joined
13 Aug 2004
Posts
6,788
Location
Bedford
*Warning Long Post*

Moved in with my GF in september in Winchester. Last saturday, one of my mates from my home town (Washington) popped down to see me for the week (Sun -> Thursday). We planned days out at thorpe park, london etc blah blah.

Now my friend who came to see me is always quite depressed and down. He's only ever had one girlfriend and is always complaining that no-one loves him etc etc. He's quite overweight (>19 stone) and every night comes home from work sits in front of his tv or pc and eats vast quantities of crap. So as you can tell he's quite down about himself and claims he'll never get a girlfriend.

Now during his stay with us he did quite a few things which made my girlfriend uncomfortable. List below

1) Slapped her bum while she was playing wii
2) Played with her hair a few times in a manner which friends shouldn't do.
3) Constantly sitting next to her and giving her cuddles.
4) When she chose to sit on the other side of the room to get away from him. He was like why dont you come sit next to me? Don't you like me?
5) While we were in the queue for the War museum in london he grabbed her bum and said i'll take payment by this.

There are many more smaller isolated incidents which i cant be bothered to type. Now obviously after the last incident i took him to one side and told him he'd crossed the line, but it didn't stop. Now my girlfriends mum thinks that he fancies her but im not sure. Obviously i need to have a word but i need to do it without upsetting him. Any ideas?
 
he hasnt shown you any respect so why should you show him respect.

tell him that your girlfriend isnt interested in fat people.
 
neil3k said:
Now my girlfriends mum thinks that he fancies her but im not sure. Obviously i need to have a word but i need to do it without upsetting him. Any ideas?
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No. Really? Of COURSE he fancies her! He's probably knocking one out over her right now.

Sod upsetting him, he's been sexually harassing your other half.
 
Ummmm, not sure how I would've reacted tbh, it seems pretty clear why he hasn't got a girl Friend though if thats how he acts around woman, I would've definitely had a word with him like you did but if he still continued I think I would've asked him to leave if I'm being honest, otherwise it's not fair on the missus and also it would have just plain ****** me off anyway and may of done something I regretted.

Von Luck said:
No. Really? Of COURSE he fancies her! He's probably knocking one out over her right now.
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tbh he sounds like the kind of guy that would fancy any girl thats in the same room as him :(.
 
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Kick his ass?

Seriously though, I've got a friend who does similar things (or at least tries to). Basically because he's not getting any action at all, it sounds like hes trying to treat your GF as his. All you can do really is ask him to stop and if he doesn't, ask him to leave.

You can't threaten your relationship with your GF just because he wants to pretend he has one.
 
TheKnat said:
You can't threaten your relationship with your GF just because he wants to pretend he has one.
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You nailed it there, been in this situation in the past and you either say something or your GF will and it'll be 10x worse.

Tell him to keep his hands off and stop creeping her out.
 
Just have a talk to him when its just the two of you and just explain you dont like him doing what he's doing and say you would like him to stop doing it, probably best if you dont say your girlfriend has said to you about them as it may make things more awkward between them if you want them to get along unless you feel they could if you told him.
 
I would have taken the guy to one side and told him in no uncertain terms to start showing some respect for me, my girlfriend......and more importantly himself. That kind of behaviour is totally unaceptable, nobody should have to put up with that.
 
id agree it is harrarsment, either way its going to affect his feelings you cant let it carry on, otherwise it could get worse and she could take it out on you
 
Tell her to slap him round the face next time he does it, maybe a physical warning will show him that it's totally out of order.
Personally if I was in that situation and they continued to sexpest after being warned, I'd of kicked them out the house, making sure it was after the last train had gone.
Either that or take him down Moloko's (I assume it's still there, I ain't been to Winch in about 4 years), get him ratted on vodka, then abandon him.
 
YOUR FRIEND DID THAT!?!

He is no friend. Tell the fat slob to get a grip on his life, rather than other blokes woman. The reason he feels unloved is because he doesn't love/like himself. That is more important. Sitting and eating crap infront of a screen will not get him laid, or help his self-esteem. Unfortunately, unless something major happens, he will be like that for the rest of his life.

If a mate of mine did that, i would have serious words with him, and if it continued, i would shine his eye for him and tell him to sort himself out. He is trying it on with your misses for attention. He see's her as an easy target. Sort him out or sod him off!
 
wow everyone here is completely over reacting.

i think you should look at this from your mates point of view. he is depressed about his weight, doesnt speak to any other women in his own social life and needs a way to interact. sure he got it totally wrong, the real question is how good a friend is he?

also what does your bird think? how offended is she? if push comes to shove then sure have a quiet word. dont take it out of proportion, those talking about "decking" him are keyboard warriors talking crap!
 
gjrc said:
also what does your bird think? how offended is she? if push comes to shove then sure have a quiet word. dont take it out of proportion, those talking about "decking" him are keyboard warriors talking crap!
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No...We're saying that our girlfriends would have smacked him one by now.

My gf doesn't carry a keyboard...But she does have a mean right hook.

*n
 
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