Marriage & Arguing

I've been thru WAY TOO MUCH with past relationships and just wanted to settle down...I had my first kid at 18, married at 22, and my 2nd child was born augest....I put in a previous post i was married in Augest, i meant April....god us men can NOT remember dates too well lol...

We are both 22 MookJong
 
I am still very young in these matters and would never consider getting married. However I often found myself under the thumb and now take the line that if I don't agree I'm not doing it and if you don't ask my nicely then I'm not doing it.

In the hyperthetical situation that she 'flipped out' at me I'd just be conserned rather than annoyed as that'd be really weird. I guess if it was expected I'd just turn off and then when she finally finished I'd say I wasn't responding unless she took a much less agressive tone with me.

I think I've found a ballence of stubben and reasonable (and always calm) that's working for me so far. I can see however, how children might complicate this.
 
.Kencs said:
I will also drop by the florist on the way home and buy her some flowers/or the petrol station ...
Click to expand...
Would she really want you to buy her the petrol station? Also can you get them at the florist nowadays :confused:



Back on topic, we got married (relatively) young too, I was 22 and my wife 21. :)
 
.Kencs said:
I've been thru WAY TOO MUCH with past relationships and just wanted to settle down...I had my first kid at 18, married at 22, and my 2nd child was born augest....
Click to expand...

I think many questions are raised by all this and I sense there is probably a lot more background to your story.
 
Chris Beard said:
I am still very young in these matters and would never consider getting married. However I often found myself under the thumb and now take the line that if I don't agree I'm not doing it and if you don't ask my nicely then I'm not doing it.

In the hyperthetical situation that she 'flipped out' at me I'd just be conserned rather than annoyed as that'd be really weird. I guess if it was expected I'd just turn off and then when she finally finished I'd say I wasn't responding unless she took a much less agressive tone with me.

I think I've found a ballence of stubben and reasonable (and always calm) that's working for me so far. I can see however, how children might complicate this.
Click to expand...

I had/have the exact same issue with my girlfriend of 17 months, there is no need whatsoever to be aggressive, or moody, or obnoxious. She would often tell me what to do, where I'm taking here. If it's expected out of a serious long term relationship, then I don't want one. Were on a 'break' for two weeks, she suggested it, I took it up in the hope that she grows up and acts like a civilised being.
 
how many wives know the true value of your a) Car b) PC equipment or in my case c) hugely expensive new mountain bike? Not many I reckon.
Click to expand...

ehh? its your money though so cant you do with it what you like?

My ex would go in a huff if i bought food (for myself i might add) that she didnt approve of.

I think the last time i sulked was when i was 8 years old. I grew out of it...shame a lot of 'women' cant.

Quite emotionally immature behaviour from her a lot of the time and she was 28 years old jeez.
 
[DW]Muffin;10445500 said:
Were on a 'break' for two weeks, she suggested it, I took it up in the hope that she grows up and acts like a civilised being.
Click to expand...

She won't change, and I'd hazard a guess the 'break' will become permanent. I've never known any couple to have a break that wasn't terminal. :/
 
[DW]Muffin;10445500 said:
I had/have the exact same issue with my girlfriend of 17 months, there is no need whatsoever to be aggressive, or moody, or obnoxious.
Click to expand...
I can't help being moody or obnoxious but I'm never aggressive. Sarah knows this, knows what I'm like and loves me for it. All I can ask for really. In return, I treat her like the woman I love. Thing is, she doesn't sulk about any big things, and we've never had an argument either. She sulks playfully, because she knows I like it (she has one hell of a sexy pout), but thats it.

I guess I'm lucky. Of the relationships I've been in, this is the first one where I haven't felt like I'm being totally controlled.
 
.Kencs said:
I've been thru WAY TOO MUCH with past relationships and just wanted to settle down...I had my first kid at 18, married at 22, and my 2nd child was born augest....I put in a previous post i was married in Augest, i meant April....god us men can NOT remember dates too well lol...

We are both 22 MookJong
Click to expand...

how can you have been through WAY TOO MUCH! You're only 22.

I'm nearly 40 and I've only over the past 5 years started realising what it's all about tbh.

Understanding is one of the key ingredients to make any relationship work let alone Marriage and you both have to work damn hard for what you want and where you want your relationship to be.
 
Murf said:
She won't change, and I'd hazard a guess the 'break' will become permanent. I've never known any couple to have a break that wasn't terminal. :/
Click to expand...

Exactly! A break usually means shes found someone else but wants to hang onto the current person as she doesnt want to be alone. A break allows her to do her own thing and if it works out you're gone, if not she comes running back at the end of it for the security and things go on just like they used to do anyway!
 
Murf said:
She won't change, and I'd hazard a guess the 'break' will become permanent. I've never known any couple to have a break that wasn't terminal. :/
Click to expand...

Indeed, if shes so upset to be 'having a break' and dosen't change then it wasn't that upsetting :/

High quality of life ***.


Totality said:
Exactly! A break usually means shes found someone else but wants to hang onto the current person as she doesnt want to be alone. A break allows her to do her own thing and if it works out you're gone, if not she comes running back at the end of it for the security and things go on just like they used to do anyway!
Click to expand...

She hasn't met anyone else, she just dosen't know what to do, I've tried talking to her for well, nealy 10 months about her mood swings, but undoubtly 'it's not like you helped me' situation.
 
Chris Rock said:
Don't argue! You can not win! You can not be the woman in an argument. It's impossible! You will not win. 'Cause men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing, because we have a need to make sense. Women ain't gonna let a little thing like sense **** up their argument. 'Cause she's not in it for sense - she's in it for distance and irritation.
Click to expand...
 
.Kencs said:
I've tried Tom0 but she goes back to her old ways again lol...It may be that she is at home with a 3yr old and a 11 week old all day, but still there is no need to take it out on me lol and NickG.....She NEVER appoligises after flipping out UNLESS I make a big deal about it, then she will say sorry to shut me up lol
Click to expand...

So dont make a big deal out of it, kids are hard and she's doing it alone all day. Do you take full control of the kids in the evening so she can have some peaceful time without worrying about them? Does she also do all the cooking? Anything you can do so that she can relax more?
 
We have heated debates but never actually argue. I basically learnt that with women you just agree or admit your wrong regardless for a quiet life!
 
I think everyone argues at times. We've certainly had our fair share but we know we'll always be together and so things always get worked out. Sometimes one or both of us is irritable and so we get annoyed far easier than usual and end up rowing but most of the time we are just fine together.

I think a bit of arguing is healthy and normal. What annoys me is the mind games that some women play, I really cba with that and can't imagine how annoying that must be to their partners. We are very open with each other and talk about everything, and I mean everything so there are never any secrets between us.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom