Confused about life at the moment - help needed

Just read your post, and i'm feeling exactly the same way for exactly all the same reasons. :( But im going to give it a fair shot and stick it out for a good bit longer :)
 
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Smiley Man said:
hey guys

i really need some advice and help here cos i am desperate.

ive been at uni for 7 weeks now and over the past few days its suddenly hit me that i will be here for another 4 years and i really dont know if i can manage it:(

i miss home so much even stupid things like the basic household routine (things like dinner, parents getting from work etc etc) i know it sounds daft but i've always been so dependant on my family etcs
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My advice is to talk this over with counsellors at Uni.

However, the long and short of it is you can't live in your parents shirt tails for the rest of your life. Change hurts, suck it up, be brave and don't let the world beat you.
 
Carzy said:
Brilliant :D
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yeh i thought that up until about now, it's a free for all, especially on nights out when they all try and out 'attention seek' each other, and then cos i'm a guy i get left out of loads of conversations so i'm on the outside.

I have 5hrs of seminars a week, in my group there are 3 guys and 12 girls they're pretty much the only people i socialise with outside of my housemates who are nearly all girls, haha, ideal world for some, and was for me up until now.
 
I think going home is actually a good idea, it will allow you to see that it hasn't changed since you've been gone it will be a comfort to you to see everything the same, which will make it easier for you to move on (knowing that home is always there.) on the g/f front my son and his g/f live miles apart and have been together for 4 years they talk for hours every night so I don't think there is anything wrong with that provided you are making friends there. I hope this makes sense to you I'm not very good a putting things into words!
 
Hey dude,

At some point everyone's got to make a move from home, and some find it easier than others. It's too easy to do a routine and life wouldn't be any fun if we just did the same thing forever: you only learn by challenging yourself. For the first 17 years of my life I was really guilty of that myself, always passing up chances because it was outside my comfort zone, and I don't know why but after my 17th birthday I finally kicked my arse into gear and tried to live a bit. The last two years have been great because of it, there's been moments where it didn't feel like it and I felt like you do now, but looking back I wouldn't have changed any of it for the world.

So, basically, if you're enjoying your course and Uni itself don't jack it all in because you're out of your comfort zone for now, it'll all become second nature. You said yourself that you feel unfulfilled at home, well you're doing the right thing now by trying to find your feet somewhere else, so give yourself some time before you call it quits, you've only been there 7 weeks, it's no time at all! I'm sure whatever happens you'll do the right thing but whatever that is make sure it's with no regrets. Good luck!
 
doesnt sound like these mates you mention are really proper mates to me. I know i met some of my best friends at uni, and the best bit for me was having fun with them all the time - and we all pretty much stayed around all year - didnt really go home except for xmas.

I even miss it now sometimes, and i graduated nearly 7 years ago, which is why i went to another uni and did a PhD hehe
 
I left after 7months at uni, I didnt enjoy it at all
I joined the cops when I left, I now have a great job I love, decent pay/salary and job prospects

Point of my post - uni isnt for everyone and you can still do well in life
 
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I wouldn't say I particularly happy through the first semester at University but it eventually passed and I had four good years there. I did have a friend who had gone to another University initially and then transferred to mine as it was closer to his home and he did really well then.

I do think that to much expectation is put on people to go to University whether or not they are ready or really able to do so. Don't make any rash decisions though; make sure you use any support facilities your University has before just dropping out.
 
Sinque said:
Drink your problems away!
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i hate drinking, too expensive and you feel rough the next day :p, plus i have no money left now:(

i have been thinking about it all and im pretty sure i will stay on here til xmas and then decide after the holidays, but im going home this weekend anyway to have a chat with my parents about it :)
 
I believe its best to regret something you have done than somthing you haven't.

Like someone said, if you dont stick it out you'll wonder your whole life 'what if..'

Look around your uni and join some societies etc.., there are bound to be loads of people in exactly your position, dont worry mate, it'll get better/easier.
 
You have what is commonly known as"Homesickness". :D

Seriously I know how hard it is for some people (not me, I weent to boarding school before uni so was well used to being away form home), but it's something that does get easier. I think maybe finding the uni closest to home in the first place would have been a wise move, but I don't think it's too late to defer a year and then start afresh next year at one closer if you get speaking to some people at the uni where you're at now, and the uni where you would go that's closer? Worth asking anyway. :)
 
Smiley Man said:
i hate drinking, too expensive and you feel rough the next day :p, plus i have no money left now:(

i have been thinking about it all and im pretty sure i will stay on here til xmas and then decide after the holidays, but im going home this weekend anyway to have a chat with my parents about it :)
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Nobody says you have to drink until your liver fails, but having a couple of social beers with your mates in the union and playing pool is what university afternoons are about. :p

I can't believe you find things to talk about with your girlfriend for 2 hours every day though. That's two hours where you could be making new friends and enjoying yourself.
 
daz said:
Nobody says you have to drink until your liver fails, but having a couple of social beers with your mates in the union and playing pool is what university afternoons are about. :p

I can't believe you find things to talk about with your girlfriend for 2 hours every day though. That's two hours where you could be making new friends and enjoying yourself.
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i enjoy the odd social drink, but anymore than that and the cons outweigh the pros :(

we usually find stuff to waffle about, usually what were going to do to each other when we next see each other hehe;)
 
I'm from Newmarket, so I know the Cambridge area well and whilst when I left to go to university I missed home, I guess I was enjoying myself in London far more than my desire to be back at home.

Coming from a small town and moving to a big city was very exciting, and the number of opportunities I've had and the amount of friends I've made have more than made up for missing anything from home.

I think perhaps because you've moved from Cambridge to Aberystwyth - two not dissimilar size places (perhaps not in population, but when it comes to things going on and things to do) and you're inevitably going to compare the two when it comes to how comfortable and at home you feel. And at the moment, Aber is going to fall down short on that.
 
hey guys

came home for the weekend spent all the time with my GF and it was lots of fun made me feel a lot better:D but i might not see her for 5 weeks now :(:( its gonna be hard but i have to do it

if i really cant manage being so far away from home i was going to think about a closer uni, is it possible to transfer to the same course somewhere else if the entry requirements are the same??
 
probably but you may have to wait a year, or start a semester behind. i can remember when i first went to uni in leicester, i hated it with a passion and wish i'd left, but 10 years on i still have some great mates from there, had some wicked fun and left with my girlfriend. the grass is always greener and that, and who's to say that it will be any better when you move?
 
Smiley Man said:
its true its an amazing place and i have so many friends here, but it is a long way from home (cambridge) and i find it very difficult to adjust to new places/people and routines :(
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Cambridge would be such a hard place place to leave as well, but I'd say stick with it. That or see if you can transfer to AR.
 
platypus said:
Cambridge would be such a hard place place to leave as well, but I'd say stick with it. That or see if you can transfer to AR.
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i was thinking about UEA, close enough to come home fairly often but far away enough to feel like a new place:)

just wondering if its possible thats all
 
I'm kinda in the opposite position too - I'm in a job I hate with no prospects and no room for going up in the ladder. I'm 22, and after I left sixth form, I went to a music college for two years. From the age of 20-present, I've just been working. I'm now looking forward to starting Uni next September and, whilst I'll still be living at home, it's basically a fresh start for me. My advice - stick it out...whilst it's uncomfortable now, you will regret it if you leave. Someones comment about leaving your comfort zone was spot on - now that you've left it, you're in the real world now.

(But also, think about the job you want...if Uni is the only path there, then you know what to do...if there are other options, consider them).
 
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