Suggestions Please - I need to destroy someone

Nail her.

also, Get the bike, cover it in black sticky paint, put it outside her room and make a huge sign with her face and say " blah blah used to masturbate on the seat of this bike."

I hope I can say masturbate?
 
bolt cutters + (paper+pen = sign saying 'Please do not steal precious bike') + alleyway = no more bike
 
Samtheman1k said:
You'll probably find it easier to cut through the frame rather than the lock/chain.
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Thats my opinion, too.

If you want to cut through the lock, you might have to get bolt cutters which will cost you. To cut through the frame, you need only a cheapo (pound shop) hack saw.

Could you not get her pregnant? :D
 
In the time it took to write that long post you could've chopped the lock off and left it outside in the street (someone will take it).

If she asks where it's gone, tell her it was knicked.
 
LordSplodge said:
I still don't get what the problem is with this girl? Can we have some proper clarification?
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She cycled round his house and locked the bike up, he then touched her inappropriatly and she ran away screaming and left her bike, she is now too scared to return for it. OP wants to teach her a lesson for rejecting him but cannot throw the keyboard at her because its wired.
 
Throw the bike at her then?

Seriously though I can completely relate to the OP, there's that type of person seriously taking the urine at the minute with me and she crossed the line last night (It takes a real piece of work to cross the line with me).

Revenge is necessary. (We're taking her paintballing because we're nice people )

Have you chained the bike to the car yet?
 
Perfect opportunity to play with power tools. Angle grinder, plain and simple. If you REALLY want to clean out your back garden with the quickness, this is the way.

You've already warned her more than once, it's in your way - her hard luck, if she's even bothered at all.

My 2p. :)
 
smear it in honey and give it her back. Then release a hoard of killer bees that will go for the honey, and inevitably her.

btw, this thread is brilliant. The OP is awesome.
 
M0T said:
She cycled round his house and locked the bike up, he then touched her inappropriatly and she ran away screaming and left her bike, she is now too scared to return for it. OP wants to teach her a lesson for rejecting him but cannot throw the keyboard at her because its wired.
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LMFAO!!! :D:D:D
 
Errrrm?


She said she don't want it, so don't waste all your time cutting the hardened steel lock. Just cut the frame off the lock. 5 minutes with a hacksaw. Like butter.

You can then leave it outside her front door for good effect. :D
 
does she have a desktop?
are her computer skills up to basic ocuk forum standards?
do you have any ways of contacting her via instant messaging?
(to mods, delete any inapproprite parts of the list below)
if not maybe disconnect the power and reset button from her pc (assuming she has a desktop)
or
send her a few viruses
or
if her uni hall is has the same internet usage policys as many such as restricting the use of torrent programs and similar stuff send her as many links to inapproprite sites as possible to get her banned from her halls internet, avoid sites that will get her flagged by the secret service though:D
or
ask her parents for things she has at home and treasure, them film replicas of them being destroyed (use the real ones if her parents allow and let them join in the carnage) :D
or
"befriend" her other half (if she has one) and plant some "evidence" for him having an affair with soemone else.

no appologies for if anything on the list above cost you or her or anyone else for that matter any physical or psyological damage
 
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