Corporate buzz words

NickK · 12 Dec 2007 at 16:04

Seagull - fly in from a great height, crap on everything then fly out.
Mushroom - keeping them in the dark and feeding them crap.

Wah - forgot the 10 pointer: Synchronise

V-Spec · 12 Dec 2007 at 16:06

"Moving forward..." <used constantly in meetings>
"Extending synergies"
"out of the box thinking"
"blue sky thinking"
"no brainer"
"none starter"

MookJong · 12 Dec 2007 at 16:31

Random Guy said:
"Close of Play"

Yeah I hate that one....

Err you mean get it done before I go home.

Haiku · 12 Dec 2007 at 16:43

Deliverables
Refocus
Best practice

:mad:

Mad_Jay · 12 Dec 2007 at 16:45

Dunno if these count, But at work we have:

Cookability and Spoodle

Moley · 12 Dec 2007 at 16:46

5tephen said:
Q: Why did the Chicken cross the road?.

You know the scarey thing? I actually understood every word of that...

:eek:

Reasteh · 12 Dec 2007 at 16:48

Random Guy said:
"Close of Play"

'murphy's law'

Hate · 12 Dec 2007 at 16:51

Dj_Jestar said:
Sprint is better than "iteration" which is what it replaces, imo.

I hate timebox, spike, "quick win" and just about anything that isn't down to earth English in fact. I used to work for EDS.. that place had an entire department dedicated to creating new terminology.

I just hate agile and scrum

Dingleberry88 · 12 Dec 2007 at 16:51

HEADRAT said:
Super Excited (one of our GM's uses it all the time, it's become a bit of a running joke)

?

WillyNelson · 12 Dec 2007 at 17:06

Nullvoid said:
incentivize

*smacks Nullvoid in the face with an axe for even mentioning that word* :doublemad:

Glaucus · 12 Dec 2007 at 17:07

Yeh, world class company. Network rail isn't even a third world company.

skiba · 12 Dec 2007 at 17:09

Tunney said:
I think we should take this discussion offline as I don't have enough bandwidth at the moment.

I thought it was just my place of work that used this. You don't work in a bank do you?

ScarySquirrel · 12 Dec 2007 at 17:09

I always get told to work smarter. WTF does that mean?

SiriusB · 12 Dec 2007 at 17:09

Network Executive: We at the network want a dog with attitude. He's edgy. You've heard the expression "Let's get busy"? Well, this is a dog who gets biz-ay; consistently and thoroughly.
Krusty: So he's proactive?
Executive: Oh, God yes! We're talking about a totally outrageous paradigm.
Writer: Excuse me, but "proactive" and "paradigm"? Aren't those just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that... I'm fired aren't I?

James07 · 12 Dec 2007 at 17:10

Push for results

SiriusB · 12 Dec 2007 at 17:12

James07 said:
Push for results

Ugh, heard that the other day at work from complete tard of a manager.

"We need to push for results!"

"No you need to get the **** out!"

nin9abadga · 12 Dec 2007 at 17:12

scoop said:
I know of a place that doesn't have "issues" or "problems", merely "unresolved solution opportunities" ...........

lol we get that "they're not problems but opportunities yet to be exploited"

James07 · 12 Dec 2007 at 17:25

SiriusB said:
Ugh, heard that the other day at work from complete tard of a manager.

"We need to push for results!"

"No you need to get the **** out!"

Lmao i know, that would be my response, He needs to push, He needs results to save his job.

Lmao, comical.

chipperhead · 12 Dec 2007 at 17:26

Has anyone ever heard of these sayings what get used all the time at my work-

"I don't want to teach you to suck eggs", means teach you something very basic and easy.
and
"I don't want to steal anyones thunder", means I don't want to tell you something that someone else will be telling you.
And the word ringfence seems to get used a lot too.

helmet · 12 Dec 2007 at 17:39

P45 usually gets the office in a buzz