Some opinions on what you'd do.

cyborg

cyborg

cyborg

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I have a female friend that i've known for a few years who is feeling down because her granny recently passed. Shes asked if I could come see her. My girlfriend, who i live with, is and always has been jealous of her as before I started seeing my current girlfriend, me and this friend were a little more than friends, and she knew this. So now I can

1. Lie to my girlfriend, say Im going to fix *random friends* computer

2. Let down my friend

3. Explain to my girlfriend what I want to do, which will most likely get her down, thinking that im cheating on her, and choosing to spend my friday night with someone she is paranoid could take me away from her.


So what would you guys do?
 
Can you not all see eachother together? With your GF there, or will there be an atmosphere?
 
Tell your bird that your friend needs you, you're going, and she'll just have to deal with it.

Which, when it comes to it, she will do. You need to trust each other in a relationship.
 
knip said:
Can you not all see eachother together? With your GF there, or will there be an atmosphere?
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I'd imagine my friend would prefer to see me in private, she doesn't know my girlfriend too well, and greiving is especially hard when your trying to keep up appearances.

I just really don't want to make my girlfriend feel like crap by going. She'll be coming home from work and wanting to make me dinner for when i get back from work and instead i'd be pretty much telling her to stuff it.
 
I can understand that from your mates point of view.

Ok well then in my opinion you need to be honest with your girlfriend, and say your friend really needs you, but you love your girlfriend very much, and would never under any circumstances do anything to jeopardise your relationship with you, and if you mean anything to her, then she will have to trust you on this occasion. Better to be honest instead of lie, and her then find out, in which case she will be suspicious.

And you are really just going round there to see if shes ok, and not start any funny business yes?
 
She would do it with a guy friend I'm sure, if he was that in need.

Tell her you're going, don't ask and don't tell her you're not. Just explain - if she's upset - that there is nothing going on, obviously.
 
Tough call. Emotions run high when mourning.

You need to reach a compromise. She needs to trust you and you need to show that it's as a friend you are going. I would let your girlfriend know, but tell her the exact arrangements. Don't leave anything that will get her thinking about jealousy.

Also your friend needs to understand that she can't rely on you and let her know the situation she's putting you in.
 
Tell her the truth, there is no point lying to her.

If your girlfriend doesn't trust you to go to a friends house on a Friday night then you may have bigger problems than you thought.

Perhaps a better question is do you trust yourself? And has this thing between you and your "friend" passed?
 
I'd go with the little white lie option (So long as no one finds out, as that will cause more problems).

It saves all the hassle and keeps everyone happy.
 
option three :)

telll her the truth - you'd rather her be angry about knowing your were at your exes, than her being angry because she found out you lied to her to go to your exes.. the second one sounds a lot, lot worse!

If you can explain the situation to her, tell the truth and then have everything work itself out, that'd mean a lot more to the both of you :)
 
go see the friend and tell your gf

then enjoy your make-up sex after the inevitable arguement with your gf ;)
 
Mohinder said:
Tell your bird that your friend needs you, you're going, and she'll just have to deal with it.

Which, when it comes to it, she will do. You need to trust each other in a relationship.
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Again the man is spot on as he usually is.

It comes down to trust, your friend is going through a hard time, you need to go there and give her someone to lean on. You could always make it clear that any moves would not be tolerated, but that shouldn't be needed.

If she does try something in her moment of weakness, then you surely are man enough to reject the advances and say "hey hang about, I've got a girlfriend so I'm going to have to decline".
 
Mohinder said:
Tell your bird that your friend needs you, you're going, and she'll just have to deal with it.

Which, when it comes to it, she will do. You need to trust each other in a relationship.
Click to expand...

Completely agree with this. In a relationship this has to be some level of trust.
 
I would go and see the mate. A girl that is such a weiner to not let me go and see my friends would be gone like that unless you have a history of cheating or a bad "rep".

I guess it depends how many female friends you have also and how often you see em, she might just associate you seeing girls with pulling em rather than friends.
 
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