Flatmate Etiquette

Work something out, say she can come round a few nights a week but you dont want her around the house all day, try and be reasonable but not letting him win. If he refuses ask him to ask her for rent and split 3 ways.
 
This is something thats bugging me lately too tbh.
Always here, spends about 1-2 nights a week at her own place up road, they sit in living room mostly, make a mess etc. Tbh i make a mess aswell but thers a massive difference when its just me living here and them 2 around, cos ill clean up after myself, but will not after them.
my privacy feels invaded when they sit infront of tv constantly, kitchen+bathroom is a walk through the living room. pees me right off tbh, iv mentioned it a few times but they just cant understand the problem, had enough now, if its not changed when hes moved back in after xmas ill have to have a proper word, not fair having her here 4-5 nights at all on me.

'get a girlfriened' - why should the OP have to be unhappy :) some people dont want to spend all their time with their gfs tbh, and when you live with mates you wanna do mate things, without having their other half about?

My mrs comes round and spends the night once a week at most(we live away from each other so its weekend timetable for us, but one or the other often has something on fri/sat). Actually thats a lie, at most we see each other once a week, and i go to hers, so thats once a fortnight on average, but even then, its less cos we go 2-3 weeks without seein each other sometimes.

Have a strong word with him, electricity racks up, tbh have a word with the fact hes becoming sad more than anything. 22 spending all that time with a 17year old? unhealthy.
 
Wait for the two of them to be on the job so to sspeak, then walk in on them wearing nothing but her skirt singing "Oh I do like to be beside the seaside". Im sure she will never return ;)

Seriosuly though, if shes there 90% of *** time, and is using your sonsumables that you pay for, then its only fair that she chips in, or her BF pays a bit more to compensate for her.

You shouldnt tip toe around mate, its your flat too, and tough luck if they are trying to have a peacful night in bed and you fancy watching rambo, if they dont like it then im sure they can find a travel inn for the night.
 
wait for the big tower clock above the library to hit 12, travel at 80mph in a straight line until the flux capacitor is fully charge, pull the lever 3 times and BANG! problem solved.
 
Constantly keep walking in on them whilst they're doing the dirty.

You'll either get to have a threesome/become a voyeur or your problem will be solved.

Win either way.
 
My housemates new GF basically lives here too but i really don't give a crap about it. In our house all rooms are open to all and i regularly find myself chillin with them in his room or vice versa. Theres never been an issue, infact we all have a laugh and do whatever around the house. If theres a bit of washing up left then it just gets done, we don't get pedantic about who's it is and it works. I also have a female housemate who has just got a new bloke and he's here too and it's the same. In the 9 months we have lived together we have never argued about anything! Not even a petty arguement! Just be honest, open and friendly about the situation and it will work out. Maybe doing things with the two of them or encouraging it would be good for the relationship in the house, plus you can try it on with her mates if your single;):p
 
All because he's getting it 24x7 and your not :D

There is only ONE solution:

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Start spending nearly all of the time at her place. Explain to her mother that since she's using your place, you have to use hers. I'm sure her mother will understand.
 
If it is about the money, ask your flatmate for a few quid extra month, anyone reasonable will see that it makes sense.

If you just dont want her there, unfortunately, that is a downside of shared living.

Could it be your missing the friendship/social time with your friend/flatmate?

Having house shared in the past, it is very easy to become a "Couple"... eat at the same times, watch the same T.V, goto bed at the same time etc - Funny but true.
 
ah the couple thing...when u find yourself in asda at 4am picking up something for your flatmate and then bump into him their picking something up u wanted..its time to set some rules :p
 
Pez said:
Evening all,

For the last 3 months, my flatmate has all but moved his girlfriend in, and it's starting to really bug me.

She is here almost every evening, all evening. She stays overnight, and then stays in bed even when me and said flatmate are at work. Am I being unreasonable in not wanting her to be here 24/7? It would be more acceptable if she were to perhaps pay towards the bills, but she doesnt.

I just want the ability to come in, and not feel like I'm tip-toeing around a couple, feeling like a 3rd wheel in my own flat.

Guys, what can I do? :(
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It may well be against the landlords regulations. For my parents flat the regulations stipulate any one friend can stay no more than 30 days/nights in 1 years and in total all friends staying over must acount for no more than 60 days/nights.

This was all in legal speak but that was the gist. And this would a standard off the shelf tennnency agreement.
 
D.P. said:
It may well be against the landlords regulations. For my parents flat the regulations stipulate any one friend can stay no more than 30 days/nights in 1 years and in total all friends staying over must acount for no more than 60 days/nights.

This was all in legal speak but that was the gist. And this would a standard off the shelf tennnency agreement.
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Good to know I'm sure but it's a little early for quoting legalities.
 
OP you just need to have a sit down and chat with him, that's all there is to it. Your friendship may suffer because of this but if you're really seirous about it then it has to be done, whatever the consequences. Best case scenatio she comes round less, worst case you need a new flatmate.

Fiocca said:
My housemates new GF basically lives here too but i really don't give a crap about it. In our house all rooms are open to all and i regularly find myself chillin with them in his room or vice versa. Theres never been an issue, infact we all have a laugh and do whatever around the house. If theres a bit of washing up left then it just gets done, we don't get pedantic about who's it is and it works.
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I'm sorry but you need to look up the definition of pedantism, because having to do washing up that is not yours does not fall under that category. When you live with that sort of thing 24/7 then 99% of normal people would get irritated by it. Your place sounds like a nightmare to be honest.
 
Pez said:
Thing is, she's 17 and starting college in september. She lives with her mum and pays her rent... there is no way in hell she will move out.

So she doesnt want to move out, but at the same time, spends all of her time here.
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Well thats why she's there all the time. Convenience, and she can have sex without disturbing her mum.
 
Richdog said:
I'm sorry but you need to look up the definition of pedantism, because having to do washing up that is not yours does not fall under that category. When you live with that sort of thing 24/7 then 99% of normal people would get irritated by it. Your place sounds like a nightmare to be honest.
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To be honest, his flat sounds a lot like mine, and it's a brilliant arrangement if you live with like minded people. I live with a guy and a girl, all very laid back, never argue because most things just aren't getting worked up over. I quite often do the washing up for them if I've nothing else on, and quite often I'll leave things in the kitchen and come back to find them clean. Works fine as long as everyone takes it upon themselves to do it sometimes.

I can understand how it wouldn't work with a lot of people, but it's far from a nightmare here. If the flat gets in to a state, we sort it out, but tend to make a fair bit of mess in the meantime. If I leave a load of papers and mess in the living room and somebody wants to use it, they'll just..move them. Takes 10 seconds. I'll do the same if I want it.

On topic, if it's bothering you that much, you really do just need to have a word with him. Just explain how you feel, if a subtle hint wont do the job then make sure you set out just how you feel, but not in a confrontational way. My girlfriend lives 5 hours away, and tends to stay for quite a while when she does - a whole month over the summer, in fact. I also leave her in the house while I go to work or lectures. However, she also cooks, cleans and generally tidies up after the rest of us, so she's more than welcome :p
 
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