Thursday Giggle

Gaz1988 said:
17) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
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is it worrying that i know that joe pasquale originally did that gag. some of the first few peter kay quotes were good but then straight downhill from there

im more of a bill bailey kinda guy
 
Spend_day said:
is it worrying that i know that joe pasquale originally did that gag. some of the first few peter kay quotes were good but then straight downhill from there

im more of a bill bailey kinda guy
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Das Hokey Kokey!

Peter Kay stuff did raise a slight smile a couple fo times.
 
Ewanb75 said:
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
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Gaz1988 said:
The Genius Of Peter Kaye
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thumbsdown.jpg
 
—Decimus Junius Juvenalis; a.k.a. Juvenal (c. 55-140 A.D.), “Third Satire”


Juvenal refers to the Roman custom of spectators’ voting on the fate of wounded gladiators with their thumbs. You may think a gladiator would appreciate the crowd’s “thumbs up” (verso pollice), but exactly the opposite is true. Where we give thumbs up as a sign of approval, it meant death to its Roman recipient; much to the crowd’s delight.

Thumbs down, signified “swords down,” which meant the loser was worth more to them alive than dead, and he was spared apparently so he could make up for his disgrace the next time he appeared in the arena. Keep this in mind the next time you give someone the “thumbs up” sign.
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http://www.wordquest.info/thumbs-up.html
 
Gaz1988 said:
The Genius Of Peter Kaye


5) I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
6) A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass.
Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
7) Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.
9) Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
10) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
11) If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
12) I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
13) You know that look women get when they want sex? No, me neither.
14) Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
15) I was the kid next-door's imaginary friend
16) Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
7) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
8) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
9) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
10) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
11) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
12) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
13) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
15) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
16) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

....More Dross...
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OP joke was far better than these travesties.
 
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