Dealing with a break up

rossyl

rossyl

rossyl

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Yes i realise how pathetic these threads are, but they do help get things off your chest and see things from a different perspective.

so i was quite certain things were finished between us. I liked her a lot, a hell of a lot. But i knew it wasn't going to last. I was upset and going to break up in a "blaze of glory" fashion.

luckily my sister told me to take a 2week break.

first week was awful. But after a couple of weeks, i don't care about her as much, and am not so bothered it's ending.

we'll meet 2moro to have "the chat". It'll be fine, but obv i'll be a bit upset.

the real issue is the fact that we are in the same social circle and i'll have to put up with seeing her flirting with other men. Now it's not if i even have time to get over her, we're heading out for a huge party on friday. No doubt some git will try it on with her, or worse still the opposite.

i really don't know how to deal with it. Obviously try and ignore her and kiss someone else-but that's easier said than done. Especially if i crash and burn chatting someone up, whilst she is kissing some bloke.

anyone been in a similar situation?

EDIT: she's definately already dating other blokes.



EDIT 2 (in response to your comments):
well i'm no bunny boiler...and it's actually more so me doing the breaking up, as she's happy to just let things go on/fizzle out.

However, as we are working together I feel the need to sort things out so that we can move on. To let things drag on will only create a more uncomfortable situation.

As for trying to date other girls - I think I'm going on a date tonight? Some girl who i knew for all of about 2months about 5yrs ago has randomly got in touch and asked to meet up. She's nice but a bit strange...see how that goes.

I will of course try and be the bigger man and act as if i don't care at the party...truth be told i will.

However I am far from shy and won't sit in a corner and sulk.



EDIT 3 - The break up!
Well we met up and had a sort of chat where she said she should've told me how she felt sooner etc.
This sort of formally ended things
i acted quite cool about it, as if everything was fine. And that i wasn't upset.

we had a good time & no doubt decided we'd be friends. Made her laugh a lot, to the point she was asking me to stop making her laugh.

whilst it was a good night, and not uncomfortable. I acted grown up etc. All it did was remind me why i liked her in the first place, how pretty she is, and how much i'll miss her.

the amount i could make her smile and laugh only made me wonder why she'd want to end things. But even worse it made me hope that she might want to get back together. Which is a stupid way for me to think.

i really do feel like rubbish, and this is why i hate opening up to girls as i end up hurt & it takes a while to recover.

little can be done now. Just hope she doesn't flirt with guys in front of me at the party as that will crush me.

hopefully i'll get over her sooner rather than later as right now i feel terrible. :(
 
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Nope, but i fear a similar outcome if things carry on the way they are with my girlfriend.

Circumstances are pretty much the same! bar the party.

Good luck man, keep your chin up, it's only a party and people are like that at parties! ... It's not like she has fallen for someone straight after you.
 
Get out, get rid of the friends, they only make things worse, go somewhere else if you can, and dont try to stay in contact if youve already lost trust in her. Ive been there. Took a while, didnt let go, messed me up. Just break free and get out.

And trust me, dont ever ever ever get a **** buddy as a rebound..... Just dont!
 
Moses99p said:
Do you still have pictures of her? I'm guessing you haven't lost your arms in a horrific accident in the past? Problem solved.
Click to expand...

love it :D.


this is why it sucks to be a guy at the end of a relationship, girls don't have to do anything when meeting people, it's all the guy, so when (it will happen) someone comes up to her she will easily be able to get anything she wants, you on the other hand have a hard job of not only getting the guts to talk to someone new if you're shy, but also have to pretty much do all the work in chatting them up which makes it so much harder, especially if your friends know of the break up and then a guy wont care if she is a looking for rebound, but woman might so might not even want to go near you out of respect for there friend.
 
just be pleasant with her and be chatty like a friend, ask if shes ok etc and just say you feel awkward or whatever, might break the ice towards building a mutual understanding and friendship again?
Otherwise just try to enjoy yourself, you can always head home early before anything gets heated too, think ill be taking my own advice soon but luckily iv never been in the same circle of friends as gfs, but i hate bumping into them soon after breakups. good luck
 
The only thing that is gonna make you feel better, and stop you thinking about her at the party, is if you nail another bird.

Having to watch and ex (even if it was a fleeting thing) with another bloke is pure nasty.
 
rossyl said:
anyone been in a similar situation?
Click to expand...

Yes. My first girlfriend; we went out for 2.5 years, and I was on the verge of proposing marriage. Then she turned around one day and said it was all over; she just didn't love me anymore.

We continued to see each other socially on a regular basis (unavoidable, since we belonged to the same circles) and it took me another two years to get over her. I had to watch her flirting with other guys (including my own twin brother at one point; fortunately he wasn't interested) and generally getting on with life, while mine was still stuck in 1999.

Interestingly, she didn't find a new bloke and was still single when I got married in 2005 (though she has a boyfriend now). Saw her late last year when she visited the UK, and it was all good; we're just good friends again, which is great because she's a terrific girl. :)

I don't have much advise for your situation except to say that if you can escape the social circle, it's a lot easier. If not, you just have to grit your teeth and bear it. Good luck.
 
well i know she is dating other blokes, from another friend. I didn't ask, I was told, as the friend who told me doesn't know that we were previously going out.

None of our friends know we went out. That's because we work together, so i cannot really get rid of that social group, or ignore it.

It's a big company but being in the same intake (30people) they put on a fair few events for us, and we all meet up for lunch a lot.

So avoidance won't really work.

This is going to be very difficult isn't it!
 
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Maybe avoid the party? You talk about trying to kiss someone else and ignoring her, maybe approach it in a more mature fashion?

Just get over her to be honest, plenty more women out there. You already said it wouldn't last, but you didn't mention how long your relationship went on for.

Personally i'd avoid her for a little while, see how things go.
 
Forget about her dude, she obviously is dating other people and having fun, why shouldnt you? let her flirt let her date, just ignore it and be a bigger man.
 
same situation i broke up with my gf and she turned into a bit of a bunny boiler literually sitting on my door step so was forced to talk to her anyway she wouldnt let it go so we made an agreement that we'll have a months break and if i wanna get back with her its all good. well i know i dont wanna be with her but i'm hoping she'll get use to being along ova the month and it'll be easier for her.
 
well i'm no bunny boiler...and it's actually more so me doing the breaking up, as she's happy to just let things go on/fizzle out.

However, as we are working together I feel the need to sort things out so that we can move on. To let things drag on will only create a more uncomfortable situation.

As for trying to date other girls - I think I'm going on a date tonight? Some girl who i knew for all of about 2months about 5yrs ago has randomly got in touch and asked to meet up. She's nice but a bit strange...see how that goes.

I will of course try and be the bigger man and act as if i don't care at the party...truth be told i will.

However I am far from shy and won't sit in a corner and sulk.
 
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