Evening joke

[riddler]

The night of March 31st and the mother of a blind child tells her son

"pray extra hard tonight because God is willing to give you your sight back".

The boy goes to bed and prays really really hard for hours.

The next morning he wakes up to find himself in a state of shock still blind after the nights long efforts.

"Mummy mummy" the boy whimpers "I'm still blind"

"April fools son!"

 

[Jebblehmoo]

Old. Awful!

 

[riddler]

Old. Awful!

I tried

 

[Jono]

So where's the joke?

 

[riddler]

My girlfriends mate had a baby to a pakistani fella the other week, we went round to visit last night. She asked if i wanted to wind the kid, i felt grim so decided to give him a dead arm instead!

 

[Duke]

What's long and hard and makes women groan?

An Ironing Board.

 

[gillywibble]

In before the proverbial.

 

[Tefal]

In before the proverbial.

lemon?

 

[Ben M]

eye bee tea ell

 

[neil3k]

What's long and hard and makes women groan?

An Ironing Board.

lol

Thats good. The others are crap

 

[InvaderGIR]

lemon?

Cheesecake.

InvG

 

[CryptKeeper]

awful

 

[Tefal]

Cheesecake.

InvG

heathen,

 

[Duke]

A man called a television repair service.

The voice on the phone inquired, "Can you describe the problem, please?"

The man stammered for a second, and then said, "Every time I change the channel, I hear a high pitched whining sound."

The serviceman confidently replied, "Oh! That's just your wife!"


========


A guy in a bar buys a pint then takes out a photo from his top pocket, looks at it, and puts it back.

He does this every time he has a pint.

After the eighth pint the barman asks, "Why do you keep looking at that photo?"

"It's a picture of the wife," the guy replies, "When she looks good enough to ****, I'll go home."

 

[mejinks]

ok, you forced me into it!

Q. What do you call a balding grizzly bear?
A. Fred bear (thread bare) Oh never mind

A blonde comes home after a long day at the office. "I feel so sick," says the blonde to her husband. "On the journey back home, I was sitting on the train with my back to the engine and you know how I hate travelling backwards. I felt like puking." The husband replies, "Honey, why didn't you ask the person sitting opposite to swap seats." "I couldn't," whines the blonde. "There wasn't anyone there!"

 

[Tefal]

ok, you forced me into it!

Q. What do you call a balding grizzly bear?
A. Fred bear (thread bare) Oh never mind

This is the worst joke I've heard since a guy said:

Want to hear a joke,
ok
*Then headbutted me in the face*

 

[gillywibble]

This is the worst thread joke ever

 

[Arjun806]

 

[Jebblehmoo]

That was funny

 

[Jingo...]

I don't know I was whitness to some joke idiocy yesterday :

at a mate birthday party at a hired out venue, when in the toilets draining the main vein I overhear two chaps as follows:

DrunkenBaldGuy: Where do you work?

Pawn: a chemist at the weekends?

DrunkenBaldGuy: I have a joke about chemists... what do they do at weekends?

Pawn: Go on...

DrunkenBaldGuy: Have a bit of citrus in the eye *proceeds to push the limeslice from his drink into other guys eye*

Pawn: Ow... that smells of lime...



[me exits confused and pleased with my own life]