Whats the funniest thing you've done when drunk

dal

dal

dal

Associate
Joined
10 Sep 2005
Posts
909
Location
Lincolnshire
For me it must have been when I jumped in a shopping trolley and went down this hill for 100 yards before hitting the kerb and getting toppled out onto the pavement, didnt remember it till the next morning when I had a massive bruise on my arm. Theres a few other things that spring to mind as well but I'd put that at no 1.
 
Last edited:
I licked my hand and told everyone i was a cat cleaning myself. There is a picture on my Facebook...i don't remember. Also i kept biting my friend's (female!) legs when i was resting my head on her lap...apparently i was going higher! :eek:

Both on the same night. :o
 
A long time ago me and a mate went back to a girl's house with two birds. The munted one decided she liked me and the hot one wouldn't go with me cos her mate liked me and wouldn't go with my mate cos he was too fat for her.

We drank all her dad's beer and when they went to the toilet upstairs my mate ran point while I peed in her kitchen bin.

We sat for another 20 mins finishing the beer before ordering a taxi and leaving.

In fairness they were at the only toilet and I had drunk a lot of their beer.
 
I was at my mate's house and on the way back from the toilet went right instead of left, went into his parents' room and got into their bed. Started cuddling up to them too.

They were not happy.
 
After breaking up with a girl I'd been with for 20 months or so, I went out to 'Spoons with some friends and got absolutely balls to the wall trolleyed. The last thing I remember is drinking some blue drink straight out of the pitcher, then it's all a haze. I have vague recollections of throwing up all over the table. I'm told that we all got thrown out of the pub, though a couple of mates helped clear up... We tried to get a taxi home, but none of the taxi's would take me. Apparently I even jumped on the bonnet of one of them... My friends had to hide me in a bush when the police came past. Eventually my friends bit the bullet and called my mum to come and fetch me. The next morning was... awkward.

A mate of mine once got plastered and managed to projectile vomit in my face - like properly in my mouth - as me and a mate were carrying him to the bathroom. That wasn't pleasant.

I could go on, but it'd really just be a catalogue of who threw up where... Not good.
 
Got into a stock trolley along with an off-duty bouncer and been pushed around a dance floor by one of the bar staff.
 
bibalasvegas said:
I was at my mate's house and on the way back from the toilet went right instead of left, went into his parents' room and got into their bed. Started cuddling up to them too.

They were not happy.
Click to expand...

Could have been worse...

they might have started "cuddling" back :eek:
 
Took a quick nap in a grave yard when walking back from 'The Sutherland Arms', only to awake from my drunken slumber to give some poor guy walking his dog the fright of his life.

It must've rained slightly during my kip and as such the ground had become very muddy. Now imagine this guy's thoughts as I, dressed in black, long hair matted with mud plastered over my face and just generally muddy all over, pull myself to my feet and stagger towards him.
 
Had a wild west style shoot out with fireworks in the middle of a rather busy main road.

Detonated display grade fireworks near a police station

threw an ironing board out a fourth floor window

shot bottle rockets at someone

...will add more as and when I remember them.
 
I was walking down to the town to get a kebab one night while slarmied and a bloke comes up to us and asks.
"You seen a dog? A little white dog?"
"Nope, sorry mate"
So we go down the town, get our kebab and wander back up the hill to my house
When a woman in a 4x4 drives past, stops and asks
"Have you seen a dog?"
"Oh a little white one?"
"Oh my god! Yes!"
"Nope, sorry."

This was HILARIOUS at the time :p
 
Quite a while back a mate of mine actually got arrested for trying to get into his own house. The only problem was, he'd moved house about two weeks earlier and being in a 'slightly inebriated' state he'd forgotten this rather important fact and was trying to get into his old house.

To this day his wife refuses to let him, or us for that matter, forget about it. :D
 
Was home, wasted of course, thought i'd be the good flatmate and empty the rubbish bin, found a dead mouse in the bottom of it once the bag had been lifted out by me, I then thought to stop the dead mouse from smelling i'd spray it with lynx (a lot of it :P) I then thought to myself "if i torch the mouse it would be hilarious" so got my zippo and lighted it a little too close to the bin full with lynx spray, needless to say there was a mini fireball in my kitchen that singed my eyebrows, eylashes and nose hairs........

awesome night :D
 
Azagoth said:
Took a quick nap in a grave yard when walking back from 'The Sutherland Arms', only to awake from my drunken slumber to give some poor guy walking his dog the fright of his life.

It must've rained slightly during my kip and as such the ground had become very muddy. Now imagine this guy's thoughts as I, dressed in black, long hair matted with mud plastered over my face and just generally muddy all over, pull myself to my feet and stagger towards him.
Click to expand...


My favorite so far,think I'd have died of heart failure :eek:if I'd have seen you coming up from the ground covered in mud.
 
I was once with a friend in the town - having a drink - when two American tourists stumbled upon my existence (woo hoo!), and that of my friend's.

It all boils down to us getting a cab to their hotel, going to their room and me rompety-tompeting away, as you do. But there was one small issue I noticed mid-way through, that made me as soft as a Marshmallow. :o

He took it upon himself to sit on the bed opposite to the one I was using, pull his trousers down and masturbate, while watching me.

My face = :confused::eek::(:mad:

Whilst I had been lucky in capturing my 'mate' (for the spreading of my seed {as is natural}), my friend was not so lucky in that the other girl didn't want anything to do with him. I didn't blame her; not to sound harsh, but he is an extremely 'big' guy, he looks like a sad Monkey and all he ever thinks or talks about is Beer, 'The Football' and more Beer.

He wasn't much of a friend at all really (if I'm honest), and all he had to say for himself was that I had imagined some kind of sick gay fantasy with him, and that I was lying.

Yeh right, I guess there's nothing quite like a big fat man-boob in your mouth to suck on. :p
 
JollyGreen said:
I was walking down to the town to get a kebab one night while slarmied and a bloke comes up to us and asks.
"You seen a dog? A little white dog?"
"Nope, sorry mate"
So we go down the town, get our kebab and wander back up the hill to my house
When a woman in a 4x4 drives past, stops and asks
"Have you seen a dog?"
"Oh a little white one?"
"Oh my god! Yes!"
"Nope, sorry."

This was HILARIOUS at the time :p
Click to expand...

I'm sorry but that's BRILLIANT :D

I haven't really done too much when drunk but cutting my best friends brothers hair whilst getting progressively drunker a few years back was fun especially as he was a long haired "biker" (use the term loosely) who enjoyed viking battle re-enactments.

Suffice to say he looked beautiful afterwards.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom