Crazy Things Women Say/Do...

My other half winds herself up all the time, but in silence. Its never my fault though. I'm the god of everything to her. I wish she'd call me a chubby lazy ******* and make me do stuff to make her life easier.

I do clean up etc but my only vice is I can't flipping cook. But shes a nursing assistant and can work nights or late etc so she spends a bit of time catering for me. I do the rest. She seems to have a low opinion of herself no matter how I treat her. I have to tell her off for not telling me the problem.

Oh well. Cured it with a camping trip last year. I think she just dislikes her job or surroundings or something. She's changed a hell of a lot since I met her. she used to kick me about all over the place (in a good way). Now she couldn't kill a fly if it was sellotaped to the wall.
 
Her - "Can't wait to see you tonight, what do you want to do? I can either cook, or we can go out somewhere nice?"
Me - "I don't mind, whatever you fancy"
Her - "bleh, choose please!"
Me - "Ok you cook because your cooking is nice, and then I'll clean up afterwards"
Her - "I don't really fancy cooking"
Me - "....ok, lets go somewhere nice then"
Her - "I can't afford it"

:rolleyes: :p
 
Phate said:
Her - "Can't wait to see you tonight, what do you want to do? I can either cook, or we can go out somewhere nice?"
Me - "I don't mind, whatever you fancy"
Her - "bleh, choose please!"
Me - "Ok you cook because your cooking is nice, and then I'll clean up afterwards"
Her - "I don't really fancy cooking"
Me - "....ok, lets go somewhere nice then"
Her - "I can't afford it"

:rolleyes: :p
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roflmao :D
 
200 mile trip to devon in winter..

Her: I'm hot, turn the heating down (woolly hat, heavy overcoat, jumper, blouse, vest, woolly socks, jeans, heavy shoes, etc)

Me: No - I'm fine (T-shirt, jeans, trainers)

Her: It smells plasticky and it is making me feel sick.

Me: I can't smell anything

Her: If I throw up all over your car. It'll serve you right.

Me: OK I'll open the sunroof a bit for some air

Her: <few mins later> It's noisy with the sunroof open - just turn down the heating

... and so on through mile after mile of the M5
 
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i made it absolutely clear to mine that:

1) if you want something, ask for it. if you say you dont want anything, then i wont get you anything
2) if you say you dont mind, then you arent allowed to moan about my choice.
3) if you say you are fine, then that is exactly how i will treat you (i know you arent, but maybe this way you'll eventually tell me)
4) i dont do soaps. ever. if you want to spend time together watching tv, put on something we'll both like and watch the omnibus on sunday when im asleep (this works surprisingly well - she loves top gear)

that said, i still get the 'order a salad' = 'steal my chips' thing. i dont mind too much. i just nick her salad and maintain the moral high ground. :D

TG
 
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I have an ex friend... who quite frankly is a manbeast shemale and it goes a little like this.....

I can't wheelspin my car because it has abs.... yes she's very :cool: ;)
 
Whilst watching the Liverpool-Chelsea game, the camera shows a close-up of around 50 fans from the Chelsea crowd and she says..
Her: 'Haha, look at the one wearing the blue shirt!'
Me: 'They are all wearing blue shirts...'
Her: 'Oh..oooh yeah!'

:(
 
Not me, but a guy I know regaling a story about his grandmother.

Grandmom: Well, what do you want for breakfast?
Grandson: Nothing, i'm fine.
Grandmom: Ah, c'mon, tell me, what would you like?
Grandson: No seriously, i don't want anything.
Grandmom: Must me something. i can make you what you want. Some stuffed potato bread (tis the closest translation I can think of from an indian dish :p) or some fried eggs, or an omlette.
Grandson: ok, fine, i'l have an omlette.
Grandmom: Well, i've already made the stuffed potato bread...
 
Me: You Alright?
Ex: I'm Fine (clearly isn't)

Repeat ad infinitum

1 Month later:

Ex: It's over, you just don't seem to care about my feelings anymore.

:eek::confused::rolleyes:

Good riddance TBH. :p

Can't say I've heard anything quite as legendary in here from any of my Ex's. 5*'s of the highest regard though.
 
BoomAM said:
Its the lack of decision making that gets me.
Im critisised for not making decisions, but the other half isnt willing to make the decisions either.
Its mainly when we go out for some nosh, deciding where to go. Apparently if i say im not fussed then im being awkward and non-commital. But if i tell her to make the decision and shes says shes not fussed, its cos shes not fussed. :p.
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Basically why my ex left me because she said I didn't take all the decisions and dominate over her. If being a gentleman and giving the lady a choice is some form of non commitment then I'm guilty.
 
I had this mate (girl) staying over. I was making lunch so said, 'do you fancy a salad, I was going to hard boil some eggs too'. 'Oh ok' she says, 'but can I have mine scrambled'. 'Huh? With salad?', 'No, on toast'.

So in one fail swoop I'm now making two completely different things for lunch. Thanks. Mate.
 
The_TailGunner said:
i made it absolutely clear to mine that:

1) if you want something, ask for it. if you say you dont want anything, then i wont get you anything
2) if you say you dont mind, then you arent allowed to moan about my choice.
3) if you say you are fine, then that is exactly how i will treat you (i know you arent, but maybe this way you'll eventually tell me)
4) i dont do soaps. ever. if you want to spend time together watching tv, put on something we'll both like and watch the omnibus on sunday when im asleep (this works surprisingly well - she loves top gear)

TG
Click to expand...

Pefectly summed up there.

Last night hollyoaks finished, she wanted to watch eastenders, On it went. As it finished i flicked over to the football to see the score (she supports chelsea).

Her: PUT IT BACK TO HOLBY CITY.
Me: Im seeing the score, and there are adverts on.
Her: You always flick when adverts come on.
Me: I don't want to watch adverst i already know off by heart.
*Flicks back to holby and gets up to go to PC room*

Her: Where are you going :mad:
Me: Ive told you before spending time with you does not mean being chained down to watching your **** programs.

30 secs later from her: You always do this
*Booooooooooom, HEADSHOT*

Me: WHAT, speak up ???
 
Five star thread, all the way.

Even the potty sub-thread (although my sarcasm detector has been close to exploding each time Kell_ee001 says something about it). My ex's belief was that leaving the lid up was inviting bad energy into the rest of the house. Personally, I just think it makes the toilet look untidy :D
 
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