I've got the runs - how do you block back up?

SexyGreyFox · 23 May 2008 at 08:13

I haven't had pizza for about 10 years and yesterday at 16:30 a load of us went to Pizza Express and spent £575 :eek:

On the way back to Euston I was crying and just made the bog in time.
On the train home I had a couple of bad episodes but I've been up all night with the runs.
At 10am this morning I've got to go around the City visiting different schools, care centres etc and I'm getting really worried.

So how can I very quickly block myself up?

(this is not a bragging thread)

Zefan · 23 May 2008 at 08:14

With your fist, just make sure you wash it afterwards. That's the Islamic way.

Honestly? You're ****ed

Bathroom plug?

chet84 · 23 May 2008 at 08:16

Immodium

DampCat · 23 May 2008 at 08:17

Cork, damp towel, one of those plastic and rubber things you stick in wine bottles then push the lever down and it seals the hole, mastic, fiberglass, fruit, a small rodent, anything you can fit up there.

I'm not sure what advice you want, to be honest

Check out Scuzi's bumwashing advice in the Arse thread and that should leave you clean for a while.

.Kencs · 23 May 2008 at 08:19

chet84 said:
Immodium

Von Luck · 23 May 2008 at 08:21

chet84 said:
Immodium

What he said - although beware, it'll block you up for days, can get a bit uncomfy.

PhillyDee · 23 May 2008 at 08:22

I think the issue is really how can you spend £575 ON PIZZAS?????

Ice Rich · 23 May 2008 at 08:24

DampCat said:
Cork, damp towel, one of those plastic and rubber things you stick in wine bottles then push the lever down and it seals the hole, mastic, fiberglass, fruit, a small rodent, anything you can fit up there.

I read that wrong lol, I was like wtf?!

Actually, after reading the other suggestions you mentioned i'm :eek:

fozter · 23 May 2008 at 08:24

Eat grass, hay and mud like bears do to plug their bums up for hibernation

On a serious note, last time I had the runs was years and years ago and I think I just rode it out because I could have time off school

sorry I can't help.

Mikoyan · 23 May 2008 at 08:24

thats what I was thinking......there must have been loads of them!

Immodium...

I once had to plug my hole and this didnt work for me at all..I almost fainted I went that much...

unclebob123 · 23 May 2008 at 08:24

Eat some chalk.

Ceryndrion · 23 May 2008 at 08:27

something heavy on the fibre... perhaps the bible, that'll block you up for days.. failing that, all-bran or something similar.

Tom0 · 23 May 2008 at 08:32

Eat lots of eggs.

Deluxe1 · 23 May 2008 at 08:33

Have a chicken vindaloo.

shifty_uk · 23 May 2008 at 08:38

PhillyDee said:
I think the issue is really how can you spend £575 ON PIZZAS?????

Mat · 23 May 2008 at 08:38

Call in sick and let nature take its course?

And yes, how do you spend that much in Pizza Express?!!

Le_Petit_Lapin · 23 May 2008 at 08:44

PhillyDee said:
I think the issue is really how can you spend £575 ON PIZZAS?????

We DEMAND to know!

rick827 · 23 May 2008 at 08:44

remember to drink twice as much as usual!

Duff-Man · 23 May 2008 at 08:47

Don't want to be anal (

) but isn't this a medical thread?

I say immodium. I also say - how many of you were there at pizza express that you managed to spend £575?!

and no I don't care that it's a medical thread, if you can even call it that, it was just an excuse to use a bad pun...

Mobius 1 · 23 May 2008 at 08:49

a healthy leg of raw, bloody chicken should sort you out mate. om nom nom