Right. Now all we have to do is fill in this MP application form. Name:
`Baldrick'. First name...?
B: Er, I'm not sure.
E: Well, you must have some idea...
B: Well, it might be `*** off'.
E: What?
B: Well, when I used to play in the gutter, I used to say to the other
snipes, "Hello, my name's Baldrick," and they'd say, "Yes, we know.
*** off, Baldrick."
E: All right, right right right right, `Mr. S. Baldrick'. Now; distinguishing
features... `None'.
B: Well, I've got this big growth in the middle of my face.
E: That's your nose, Baldrick. Now; any history of insanity in the family?
Tell you what, I'll cross out the `in'. Any history of *sanity* in the
family? `None whatsoever'. Now then; criminal record...
B: Absolutely not.
E: Oh, come on, Baldrick, you're going to be an MP, for God's sake! I'll just
put `fraud and sexual deviancy'. Now; minimum bribe level...
B: One turnip. Oh, hang on, I don't want to price myself out of the market.
E: Baldrick, I've always been meaning to ask: Do you have any ambitions in
life apart from the aquisition of turnips?
B: Er, no.
E: So what would you do if I gave you a thousand pounds?
B: I'd get a little turnip of my own.
E: So what would you do if I gave you a million pounds?
B: Oh, that's different. I'd get a great big turnip in the country.

This thread reminded me of this Scene from Blackadder III