I think she is cheating……

[Mat]

Maybe you guys are right, maybe I am being paranoid, time will tell, Maybe I am reading into it far too much. Well see.

Yeah, sit tight and try not to get too drawn into it.

The human brain has the irritating habit, in the absence of solid fact or evidence, to come up with the worst case scenario as a method of protection; if you're ready for the worst, anything else is a bonus.

Give it some time and space and things will become clearer, one way or another. When that time arrives, then you deal with the result, and not before.

 

[Crimefighter]

Id keep quiet about it, Adultery is only one of many explanations for what you have found so far, which isnt much.

 

[thesubstitute]

Feels like you're stuck in a really awkward situation:

If you don't confront her, you'd just end up imagining the worst;
If you do confront her, you're showing her that you don't trust her, which by the sound of it, you do have an issue of anyway.

I'd vote for a mid-ground, which undoubtfully is something easier said than done - I think you need to apologise for checking her phone. You can throw in some white lies if you feel more comfortable about it - that you were just playing with her phone and noticed the 5pm call, and/or about the text as subsequent curiousity.

You need to be honest about being paranoid about this, and explained that you'd just end up thinking of bad things yourself, that if she could explain it would put your mind at rest.

The worst thing I think is that you sound like you're in a bit of vunerable position, if you see her as your life. The problem being you might end up clinging onto false hopes / interpretating for the worse etc. I think you need to sit down and have a think with yourself about how you would and how you should handle the different possibilities of outcomes. You need to be in a rational state when you speak to her basically.

The best case scenerio is obviously it all being innocent and you'd gain some trust in her, and hopefully become a bit less paranoid, and respect other's privacy a bit more.

You need to also be able to try and gain something in the worse scenerios.

Good luck!

 

[Combat squirrel]

Dude sounds like your -really- hunting for an excuse or something, she phones her parents at 5 when shes going to meet them then ? Sounds totally normal to me, I phone when I go visit peoples houses, they usually never hear the door.

Do nothing and forget about it, only when you have solid evidence can you start to even worry, that doesnt mean go looking for non existant evidence either.

 

[carlazai]

Get her on Jeremy Kyle for a lie detector. Make sure you tell us which day so we can all tune in

 

[Janesy B]

I used to call my girlfriend and make up excuses about work because i just wanted some time to myself, i loved her to bits but its nice to have time alone. I think you are being a little paranoid and i think you need to have a chat with her as to where you 2 are going, this will at least make you feel better. If you just leave it as is you will just fester and assume the worse.

 

[Crimefighter]

Actually there is an easy way to find out - if you are chatty with her parents you could initiate a conversation with one of them and subtlely ask (work it into the convo somehow) how they enjoyed seeing their daughter the other day and see what response you get

 

[cleanbluesky]

I don’t know what to do, if I confront her, I automatically look like I have been spying on her. I think one thing is I’m so worried about if we split, I let a family member down by not using there holiday apartment. She texts me saying ‘I love you’ and she is looking forward to this and that, she cooks for me, bedroom life is perfect…..

This is why I’m confused and don’t know what to do.


Thanks….

Please no silly responses.

1) You HAVE been spying on her, that's why it would look like you've been spying on her.

2) Either you raise this with her or you don't. Make your decisions or they will make you.

I suggest being completely honest. I'd rather deal with reality than waste precious time in fantasy.

 

[iraiguana]

Either you have something to be worried about in which case talk to her. I do not mean start accusing her of doing things as will be disaster. Simply say you feel like you are drifting apart or that it is not quite the same and if she feels the same. Find out what she feels like and why?

That way you will re-build your relationship at the worse case. Communication is a million times better than snooping and lack of trust which will destroy any relationship ... trust me on that one.

 

[Rhys]

Just ask her. If you dont trust her now then dont waste time worrying about it. GF's come and go and each one always seems irreplaceable at the time.

 

[cleanbluesky]

Actually there is an easy way to find out - if you are chatty with her parents you could initiate a conversation with one of them and subtlely ask (work it into the convo somehow) how they enjoyed seeing their daughter the other day and see what response you get

"Did you enjoy seeing your daughter the other day? At 5pm? On the 6th? Did you? DID YOU?"

Very smooth.

 

[platypus]

As for text's, perhaps, but why delete those and keep others?

Clearing messages out is just good housekeeping. Same with emails.

 

[Janesy B]

Just ask her. If you dont trust her now then dont waste time worrying about it. GF's come and go and each one always seems irreplaceable at the time.

That's a bit too wreckless isn't it?

 

[Mat]

That's a bit too wreckless isn't it?

Realistic and unbiased if not a little insensitive.

 

[cleanbluesky]

That's a bit too wreckless isn't it?

Life is wreckless, the important thing is to be honest with yourself and about the mistakes you make.

 

[Crimefighter]

"Did you enjoy seeing your daughter the other day? At 5pm? On the 6th? Did you? DID YOU?"

Very smooth.

"gfname said she stopped by on Wednesday, apparently you havent been enjoying work much? Any better now?"

Depends on how you phrase it

 

[Janesy B]

Life is wreckless, the important thing is to be honest with yourself and about the mistakes you make.

Don't quote me emo fag lyrics, A mistake would be to go charging in and acuse her of cheating only to find out it was a load of nonsense and he got the wrong end of the stick. How crap would you feel then? knowing that you wrecked a perfectly good think by being paranoid.

 

[cleanbluesky]

Don't quote me emo fag lyrics, A mistake would be to go charging in and acuse her of cheating only to find out it was a load of nonsense and he got the wrong end of the stick. How crap would you feel then? knowing that you wrecked a perfectly good think by being paranoid.

They're not emo fag lyrics - they're the advice of someone who has screwed up enough times to realise that a person shouldn't be insecure about losing anything in their life. That's not to say they should treat it without value, but that they shouldn't be afraid to make mistakes either - and if you lie to keep something in place, then its not really yours.

I don't suggest he 'charges' anywhere - I just think that he should talk to her about it (without seeming like a insecure paranoid mess) and sort it out. That or he could never raise it and spend his waking hours wondering whether she is at her parents or being banged.

 

[aslco]

hahaha

 

[Janesy B]

calm down bryan...

I see your point, but he sounds a paranoid mess for not a lot of reasons so maybe a general chat together about the future may go towards reassuring him a bit and maybe just monitoring the situation for a bit longer and see if anything comes of it. At the moment he has no real proof.